Just wanted to say: Your really not alone- I promise you

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Confused, Dec 3, 2014.

  1. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Thank you all for putting up with me all these years!!! I been reading many threads and just cant comment on them because I dont know what to say or say the wrong thing. I have been reading articles on various issues that are similar to my kids and some of yours here. All I can do is cry for you all and me. After years of struggling for and with my kids, I know what I need to change about me, I have to get nerves, I have to get the strength back up, many times I feel so alone, no one understands or cares. That I will only fail if I try to become who I used to be, a confident, some brains and loved various things. I want this again, and dang it, I WILL have this again. I been told its all me, my kids need structure, the yelling caused it all. I never yelled at first- after years of this yeah I yelled which I refuse to do anymore. I know it doesnt help. I academically,socially,emotionally and politically went down hill, but not for long!!!! I have to accept ( Im working on it) that my life will never be the same, I cant go back. I have to accept that this will be a lifetime of struggles but hopefully not as severe. I let myself get defeated and Im always back and fourth on this, I know. My kids are my life, and I would have them all over again, no matter healthy or not ( of course healthy is what I want for them)

    Just wanted to say : Your right, your all right, we arent alone - we get and have each other, even if its not the same exact situation we get it. We have the compassion for everyone here. I can admit when I been wrong and I have been on many things, or made the wrong choices.

    Just wanted to say: We may or may not tell each other every little detail of our kids, family,health, friends, jobs etc. We may or may not believe in many things. But, its ok to be angry, hurt and scared, its ok to need others, its ok to help others in anyway you can, and I promise Im not the best at things but I truly do care about all of you and if I could would give you a shoulder to cry on with extra hugs and tissues.

    (I hate roller coasters, but, maybe thats my and your best chance to scream as loud and long as you want to without feeling judged- train yards may work to or construction places)

    Love ya all and many many hugs

    Just wanted to let ALL of you know your cared about and appreciated.... ( I put this under parenting because I feel a lot has to do with what happens in our life how we feel etc towards parenting.. but I understand why this might need to be in the watercooler instead.. )
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  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Confused-Very well said! We are not alone! I've said more than once that this place has been a life-saver for me. I still remember how amazing it felt that night I found this place! It was amazing to know there were others out there who "got" it! Hugs to you!
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  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think the feeling of "not being the only one going through this" was the biggest comfort for me when I stumbled upon this site in the middle of the night about 12 years ago....

    I didn't know anyone, in my real life, who was dealing with a child like mine. When I found this site it was like I finally let go of the breath I had been holding. Knowing that there are other parents who can offer suggestions, share their experiences and shake their head to mine and say, "I get it" was of great comfort.

    The advice and support I received are a huge part of why my difficult child ended up moving forward with his issues rather than getting stuck. Mere words could never express the gratitude I feel for those who helped me, many of whom are no longer with us in spirit or body.

  4. Origami

    Origami Active Member

    I agree that it's a great comfort to know that other people are dealing with issues like mine and having some success at not going totally nuts! I'd been reading the forums for a couple of years and only started posting recently when I was facing some bad situations with my two difficult children. The collective wisdom of so many people really helped me put things in a better perspective. Even though things have calmed down at home for the moment (thank goodness), I still read and try to garner strength for whatever comes along.
  5. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    So true Confused! Oh my god, having this forum and reading others on the world wide web has helped me ions. Feeling all alone is one of the worst feelings for me.

    This sentence did something to me. I started to tear. I need that, just one time. I want one of you guys in real life. You don't have to say the right thing. The fact that you get it and completely understand is all I need. Oh my god, what I would give to just go on a car ride with one of you guys when I am having a bad day with difficult child and vent to someone who totally understands me. I don't get that from ANYONE in my life, they just don't get it and it's such a waste of energy of trying to explain it to them and such a let down each and every time you talk to them. You never feel better. How great would that be to call or go see someone who get's and understands the living sh*t out of it!? You don't have to worry about judgement. You don't have to worry about them thinking you don't love your kid because of all the bad stuff that you are saying. They think we just don't like being parents or we are doing everything wrong. WE ALL LOVE OUR KIDS! It kills me that sometimes when I vent to friends or family, that they might think to themselves I must not love my kid because of all the major problems she gives to me or by the way my anger sounds. Ugh, I would give anything just to do away with that kind of thinking. Anyway, WE ALL UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER HERE AND THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN NOTHING!
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  6. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Thank you Wiped Out,LittleDudesMom,Origami and GuideMe :) I know this has been mentioned before but its only because we all are thankful for the forum, this forum is really like no other. I would love to meet all of you although I know its not possible. I understand about what your saying GuideMe, I agree.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    There have been some occasions when we have met. I was unable to go but a bunch of the group met one year in Ohio (I think that is where it was) and one time a bunch of us met in Chicago. It takes a lot of planning but it is possible:)
  8. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Oh wow, that's really, really cool. :)
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I missed the Chicago gathering, but would be open to meeting anyone who lives near me. It's not like everyone here doesn't know more about me than my closest friends...lol.

    I've talked to a few people on the phone. Many are now gone because their problems were resolved in many different ways and some just didn't want to talk about it anymore... or they just moved on or found other places to post. I miss the first group of people I used to post with, although this bunch is great too. I think our group used to be more close-knit. I remember sending out over twenty to thirty Christmas cards when we did Christmas cards before. It's not like that now. People are less willing to let other forum members know who they are, even though I never heard of an incident happening because we exchanged Christmas cards (shrug). I'd get cards even from different countries and I'd hang them up near my Christmas tree. People made friends off the forum.

    Things change. Sadly, I doubt we'll ever have another in person meeting. And I missed them all.
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  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Confused. Well said.

    Who knows, MWM? Maybe we'll come up with-a way to have another board in-person mtng. 2015 may be just the year for that. :) In the meantime, I'm happy with-all of you on the board just being there when I need you.
  11. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Everyone thats awesome :) I hope one day I could meet you all. YOu all are just amazing!!! Hugs to all