Kanga got fired

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Jul 20, 2010.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    So, Miss Kanga didn't even last a month at her first job. She got written up in the first week for manipulating to have her schedule changed to match her boyfriends. Then she got fired today for 'inappropriate sexual behavior' (don't know if I can say exactly what she did without the censors getting me, but pm if you want to know).

    My questions for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) are
    1. She was suppose to be on eyesight supervision. How did she sneak away?
    2. She wasn't suppose to be allowed to work the same shifts as him. Was she?

    They are currently conducting an investigation and I will be getting at least two phone calls in the next 24 hours from the two supervisors doing the investigation.

    Thank God the boy is over the age of 13 (big legal number in our state). My biggest nightmare was that she would cross that line with the 12 year old she was 'dating' at the last Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

    I'm very interested to hear the results of their investigation and the consequences they give her.
  2. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    JJJ - I think question #1 is the biggie. Sometimes I think staff gets lax and forgets the absolute importance, and reason for, eyes-on supervision, or they just think the kid has changed because they haven't seen anything inappropriate recently. been there done that. It was nauseating. I didn't know 13 was a landmark age, but I do remember that with- thank you's "infraction", DCFS had to investigate because the other child was a ward and their brilliant conclusion was that since both were under 12 and it was "consensual" (in what parallel universe???), that was the end of it.

    I would think Residential Treatment Center (RTC) would know better. This is not new behavior to them specifically, or to any Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for that matter. It just seems, in my experience at least, to be a not uncommon occurrence, unfortunately. I would have expected this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to be much more proactive though.

    Sigh. I'm sorry.
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm sorry. I'm sure you are disappointed.
  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Or better yet....why wasn't she followed or monitored closer??? I'm curious to see what their excuse/reason for this is.

  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Ugh! How disappointing. I am so sorry!
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Sigh. Amazing, isn't it... I feel for you...
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm so sorry :(
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh dear. I am so sorry. How disappointing.
    Does she care that she got fired? Is she self righteous about it and thinks it isn't fair?
    In regard to mstang and others who wonder why she wasn't monitored more closely, I think kids will get away with-more than we ever know, no matter how closely they are monitored. The blame and responsibility lies with-Kanga, not the supervisors. This is supposed to be a test of her mettle, her work ethic, and her maturity.
  9. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Her "sweet" presentation strikes again. No one can believe how that sweet innocent child could possibly do anything like that. Day-to-day youth services workers almost never get how messed up she is. In fact at last Residential Treatment Center (RTC), the therapist had to meet with the YSWs and tell them, "I don't care if you don't believe it, your job is to act like it is true and respond accordingly."

    So far, it seems like therapist and case manager get it but no one else :(

    Of course, one of the investigators is the man who made it clear he was unhappy that we support Kanga's goal of aging out of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) into an apartment rather than return home. It will be interesting to see if that colors his investigation or if the investigation opens his eyes to some of the darker side of Kanga.

    (Sue - 13 is the magical borderline between pedophile and statutory; with Kanga being only 15 the charges wouldn't have been as severe as an adult with a 12 year old but 'victim under 13' gets DAs all riled up and the laws are written to reflect more severe consequences.)
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I haven't spoken to her since she was confronted with her behavior. I don't have all the details yet but apparently they did their little 'act' and got back where they belonged without staff noticing she wasn't where she was suppose to be. I'm assuming based on her two other 'inappropriate sexual behavior' incidents that either one of the two of them were bragging or someone who watched them turned them into staff. So this happened on Sunday and they didn't confront her until today.

    I am sure she will be self-righteous and complain that everyone is out to 'stop her happiness'. She still says that she did nothing wrong the last two times despite a 2-day in-school suspension for the first incident and a 5-day out-of-school suspension for the 2nd incident. The very, very scary part of this is how quickly she is escalating. In April it was a kiss on the cheek; in May, manual stimulation over the clothes and now in July...more than that.

    I asked, no I begged, them to get her an appointment at women's health to get her switched from the daily pill to the implant. The nurse said no problem, they'd get her an appointment within two weeks. We are now at week 6 and no appointment. Last week I took it upon myself to schedule the appointment and called and told them when it was and requested that they transport her to/from and I would meet them there. No return call.

    You betcha I am going to use this incident to DEMAND that they transport her to this appointment.

    She told the nurse at the old Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that she won't get STDs because she doesn't want them (not that she won't have sex, just that she is opting out of the STD-option) and, of course, little miss mania would love to be pregnant. We have been very blunt in that if she gets pregnant, the child will go into foster care and that her chances are slim and none to ever get the baby back but, again, no ties to reality...
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, JJJ.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    In fact at last Residential Treatment Center (RTC), the therapist had to meet with the YSWs and tell them, "I don't care if you don't believe it, your job is to act like it is true and respond accordingly."

    So far, it seems like therapist and case manager get it but no one else :(

    Ah, that can be problematic in the real world. Sigh.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    JJJ, yikes! Each note gets scarier. Many hugs, Warrior Mom.
  14. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    A little update...the nurse called back and transportation and a staff escort are going to be scheduled for the appointment that I set up. And Kanga's county worker called and is as livid as I am about all the same things, she is going to try and set some fires under some rears and see if she can get more progress than I have gotten so far.

    Still waiting for the supervisors doing the investigation to call....
  15. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Yes, there are a few things I'd like to "opt out" of myself. Too bad real-life doesn't play by these rules....and unfortunately, these are some of the "natural consequences" that we DON'T want these kids to learn!
  16. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    JJJ, I'm not remembering the specifics, but WHY is she not being treated more aggressively with medication for the hypersexuality?
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Is it possible to put her on medications that would dampen her sex drive? I know it is a side effect of many medications and it might at least keep her safe from herself. Not just medications to tame the hypersexuality, medications that kill the sex drive. it might be the only way to keep her from getting pregnant, infected or putting herself into very dangerous situations.
  18. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Susie - which medications can do that?
  19. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    A lot of ADs dampen sexual functioning and drive. In my experience, Depakote has that as a side effect. It's no handicap to me as I am a celibate widow by choice. IOTW, I have chosen not to get into into another relationship.

    Not because I had a bad marriage, far the opposite and that perhaps that is my motivation--be happy with what you had. I don't miss it, but I wasn't hypersexual either.

    My sister is BiPolar (BP) 1 and was hypersexual until put on Lamictal and Geodon. She says it has cut back on what would be considered "normal" drive as well.

    This is NOT the same thing as "Wanting" or "normal" lust that you are dealing with with Kanga. I don't know that medications would help and I don't know of a doctor who would prescribe medications like this just to cut down on hypersexuality. Too many side effects, etc.,
  20. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    She has been on a few ADs and Geodon and Depakote - sadly either no effect or negative effects :(

    She is VERY medication resistant (not that she refuses medications, just that it takes very high doses to get even a minimum impact).