Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Jun 30, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Had not heard a peep out of katie since alex returned from camp. We know this is because she we only hear from her when she wants something.

    So......I dropped her a note. It bothers me when I don't hear from her for long periods.

    I swear this "woman" must believe that I am utterly stupid and gullible, that I have no life experience at all.

    M lost his job a few weeks ago. OMG what a shocker! *sarcasm* Although she trapped herself on one of her many lies. Just last week his hours were "cut".

    Welfare still has not straightened out their benefits. Bull crud. She's trying to convince me the kids are getting food stamps/insurance when she and M aren't. It's all or nothing here. She's still trying to convince me that the restaurant he worked for refuses to turn in paperwork to welfare and the apartment to show he's no longer working. While they do like paperwork stating the person has been fired, laid off ect......the man has a SS # they can check to see if he's drawn any wages. But I'm not buying it anyway. This is a long standing pattern and the excuse as to why the kids were doing without food/clothing in MO. According to katie and M this happens every time he loses a job.

    Then she asks me if I remember the car accident she was in when she was here before, the "one they had to cut me out of the car"? Uh, perhaps in YOUR world dear, but not the real one. Yes she was in an accident. Riding high on meth can do that to a person. (I asked docs to test her before they released her and they wouldn't) But she was NOT cut out of the car. She ran into a pole at about 15-20 mph. She didn't so much as have a bruise or scratch on her. So then she says her back and neck has never been the same and the cleaning ect has made her suddenly hurt sooooo bad, she's been in so much pain M has had to care for the kids and the house.

    Hahahahahah. Um.....when she was in Mo the cause of this "pain" was an accident she was supposedly in with her mom at age 12.

    She tells me she's only getting 129/mo for the kids to eat with. Um, no. Even with a dishwasher salary factored in there she'd get MUCH more than that. I mean when easy child and sister in law were on it with darrin alone back when she was in school she got so much they had trouble using it all. And I know better from my own experience as well. Not to mention Nichole's. M had to walk all the way into the center of town to the food pantry for food so they wouldn't go hungry and carry it all the way back.

    If he did, he didn't get much, if anything. Our food pantry is begging and pleading for donations, demand is much much higher than donations.

    But she didn't want to "burden" me with all of this since I have so much to worry about right now.

    I saw that and just.......might sound cold.........but I started laughing.

    No empathy. Nothing. Not even worry.

    I did tell her I'd give her a ride to the baby shower for nichole, but M had to watch the kids. I'm supposed to pick up nichole's bff that lives in the same complex and give her a ride as well, so no room for 3 misbehaved kids. But she asked if Kayla could come cuz she misses us and I said yes I guess we can squeeze her in.

    I didn't say a word about welfare or their money/food troubles in my response. Totally ignored it. I'm not taking her food from my stock pile, not giving her money I don't have to give. She's at the sink or swim stage now.....and it's not looking so good.

    Her lies are so blatant and obvious and ridiculous. And well.......after dealing with her dad's outrageous lies for years.....on some warped level I find it funny. She inherited his gene for horrible lying. Not to mention being too stupid to give it up when it's obviously not gaining her sympathy or anything else from the family.

    Can't wait for the "I need school supplies and clothes for the kids for school" request. Yeah, kiddo, good luck with that.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lisa, its entirely possible that they are only getting that amount of food stamps and I can explain why. Number one, the amount of the SSI coming into the home, the rent and utility payments, M's wages, and...if Katie and or M have ever been found guilty of food stamp fraud they will be unable to stamps for a period of time. There are several different levels of fraud too. It doesnt have to be one that would take them to court. Normally its just one that cuts the adults off food stamps for a period of time and they have to pay the stamps back. Now they would let the kids remain on the case to feed them.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hmm. Never considered that. And knowing those two fraud is entirely possible.

    Welp, if it's fraud, then it's a You made your bed now lie in it situation as well. The fraud would have had to have been fairly recent. Like right after she moved into the apartment.....before that she was getting the normal amount for a family of that size.

    Honestly though, I think it's a bad case of we blew our food stamps on junk and our cash on junk and now we're broke sort of thing. I watched them with both before they entered the about spending just for the sake of spending. ugh

    The problem with the If she opens her mouth she's most likely lying thing is.......eventually no one believes a word that comes out of your mouth. I've reached that point with her.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is pretty dang hard in OH to get them to do ANYTHING about food stamp fraud, so chances are that they just blew the $$. When I worked at a restaurant right off the Middletown/Franklin exit I had to handle reporting to the food stamp people because a few of the servers were buying things for other employees and taking cash or drugs as payment. Illegal as all heck. The other mgrs and I ignored it until they started doing this with customers also. When we did record it, even with video of it from the parking lot and employee break room, so we had proof of what they were doing (our video had audio and you could hear what they were saying), it still made no difference. No one cared.

    I don't think laughing at her pitiful lies is bad. in my opinion you have to laugh or you will go nuts. She really sounds like an awful liar. It stinks that the kids won't open up and say anything about what they are doing. They sure do NOT deserve those kids.
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Susie, Actually right now Ohio is working on food stamp fraud - there have been several articles in the local paper about that. They finally got off their rear ends about it because it's pretty much endemic to the system now.

    As for Katie and M - how is he taking care of the apartment and kids? I thought he wasn't supposed to live there? Umm.

    I'll be honest every time I see Katie comment on Nichole's fb statuses, I cringe, then read it and ROLL MY EYES!!!

    I feel horrid for the grands, though, especially Kayla...
  6. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Youngest finally got food stamps for her and the kids, and it's less than half the amoutn she was receiving when she got them last year. I figured they just cut the budget here.

    Lisa, you are my detachment hero :)
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Step, according to katie, HUD accepted their appeal and let him in. I don't buy it. I think it's another lie. I lived there and watched people get tossed out or refused for less severe charges than he has on his record. According to Nichole's bff who also lives there, they're more strict about this now than they were back then.

    I'm just giving them enough rope to hang themselves.

    Teeny weeny hope (us mom's we always have hope) that at some point katie will have a light bulb moment and realize their patten of behavior only continues to stab them in the foot. That it is no one's fault but their own they are where they are in life and have been stuck there for so long.'s a microscopic spark of hope. But I can't totally ever give up on my kid.

    With the economy in it's current state, and ohio being hit so hard by unemployment, I don't doubt welfare / disability and such programs are cracking down hard or trying to. Susie's right though.....used to be you could report welfare fraud until you were blue in the face and no one cared much.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad the fraud situation is changing, even if it is a day late and a dollar short. Used to really infuriate me that we couldn't get ANY help but if husband wanted to sit around all day we could have a basically free ride. in my opinion our DHS system is all messed up. Benefits should be given to families that are trying, not those that refuse to try. But who am I to say? If that happened how many kids would go hungry until they could be taken in by the system, so that wouldn't be very helpful either. Sigh.

    I wonder when some neighbor is going to report that he is living there and the grands will be homeless again.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh, they will eventually Susie, trust me.

    If M is not supposed to be living there, those neighbors will turn him in without hesitating. Because rent is determined by the number of people per household as well as income. Neighbors tend to get majorly ticked when someone tries to pull a fast one like that when they're having to tow the line. I've seen so many people evicted due to this alone. Heck, katie herself was evicted due to sneaking him in last time around. She made it for several 8 or so before neighbors figured it out or one of them let it slip........or one of the neighbors I had watching her spotted him and tipped off the manager whom I had a like/hate relationship with at the time. I knew the manager was working double books, one for herself (which included bogus charges to tenants for stuff like walking on the grass) and one for her bosses. That and I knew my rights as a tenant (having been one so darn many years) forced the old manager to treat me with respect would made her hate me, but she did like the fact that I didn't turn her into her bosses. Which I didn't because it was perfect to hold over her head and make her tow the line. lol It was a friend of mine (who had also lived there for years) that finally turned the manager in for double books......she used to help in the office and had photocopies of those double books.....she mailed them to the owners of the complex and to HUD when she finally moved out into her own place. lol

    Since I know if she's lying, neighbors will eventually take care of it.....I can not worry over that issue and let it resolve itself.

    I'm keeping my distance, which makes it harder for them to lay any blame for anything at my feet. I'm just being who I am......the poor nana who does the best with what she's got, which isn't much.

    This is probably the first time ever that they may face natural consequences for their actions. There is no one to rescue them. Biomom couldn't if she wanted to. husband and I flat out refuse to, as do her sibs. I do feel for the grandkids. It's not fair they should have to do without because their parents are lazy idiots and major difficult children. But you know what? If it's bad enough, cps will remove them. If it's not, you can learn some pretty valuable lessons from living through that sort of thing. Kayla sees her extended family paying their bills, working, and benefiting from that. She can see the pay off of being responsible as opposed to being completely irresponsible. She has a standard to measure her parents up to, and they're failing miserably. Even husband and I on our very low income, Kayla knows papa is out of work and we have very little money, manage to pay our bills and eat. Yet her parents with their guaranteed income each month, plus help from welfare can't manage to keep food on the table and bills paid ect. Now that she can see the difference........her parents excuses are no longer going to wash with her.

    Nichole's bff comes from one of the largest major difficult child families in the county. Seriously difficult child. The girl was born with serious birth defects due to her mother's addictions alone. Seriously poor.......very much katie and M type thinking. But she hung out with Nichole a LOT, which meant she was here a LOT. Now she knows husband and I have never had much money even when he was working. But he worked, we paid bills ect. It rubbed off. It impressed her so much the girl will literally work herself to death in order NOT to take public assistance of any sort. She never asks for a handout and is sincerely grateful for anything someone is kind enough to give her. She preggers again, seriously high risk (this is the same girl who lost her baby due to prematurity about 4 yrs ago) but she goes to work everyday unless she is in hospital. She is so the opposite of every member of her family it's not funny. They don't "get" her at all. But I'm so proud of her I could pop my buttons, and she knows it. And we try to help her when we can.

    This is what I hope also happens for kayla......because honestly it's really the only hope she has of not growing up to be exactly like her parents. Alex.....well honestly with the intelligence issue and the global delays......he's sort of off in his own world and their trying hard to make Evan the same way. But I can see his intelligence just waiting to maybe he'll learn too, who knows.