long long day

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by carolanne, Apr 10, 2008.

  1. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    First, let me clear up the pregnancy...no she is not any longer. She lost the baby on March 25. I know this for a fact as I was sent the ambulance bill. I found out when I called the hospital to straighten out the billing and after runaround and sorry can't say....the woman I spoke with told me that it was a miscarriage. So no baby to harm....whew...

    Now on to today. I met with a sitting judge....but because they have been commonlaw for a year now there isn't much I can do....it's a year as when she lived in the grouphome they became "engaged" in front of the staff there....shrugs....stupid people, the staff....BUT....he was able to issue a restricted supervised parental visit every six hours order. He included boyfriend to not be present during visits and restricted HIM by citing interference of medical care(seems one of the nurses was quite insightful when he called the ward).

    She still hasn't woke up yet but is responding to stimuli....needles....she flinches...I get to see her tomorrow at 6am and believe me I will be there at 5am.

    As for me, I just took a sleeping pill so I can get some rest. And I haven't told the other kids yet...not sure I will tell them all....but will wait and see what tomorrow brings.

    A very warm heartful thank you and hug to all of you for this wonderful support. I wish I could fly to each and every one of you and hug you....it has meant the world to me to have this place and these friends....will keep you updated....

  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member


    Glad to hear that Jess is responding to stimuli, AND that the judge has given you visits and restricted boyfriend.

    Now...get some well-deserved rest.

    Sending {{{{{hugs}}}}} and the pink fuzzy board blanket to wrap you in, for a good night's sleep.
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Great that you got a reasonable judge! I'm so happy that you can see her and that she's responding to stimuli.

    Do let us know how she's doing, please. You're in our prayers.
  4. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Carolanne, I'm glad too that you got a decent judge and that you'll get to see her. I hope you can get some rest tonight.

    Borrowing on Mikey's "litterbox" theory from the other thread ... if "common law" boyfriend wants the rights of a husband, does that mean that he also gets the responsibilities of a husband, like paying her hospital bill? My son's hospital bill for six days was over $40,000! A "husband" doesn't just get to call all the shots and act like emperor of the hospital room - he's also responsible for the bill! Does boyfriend know this? Maybe when he finds out, he won't be so anxious to be the "husband" anymore! And if he's the "husband", you aren't responsible for her ambulance bill, HE is!

    If she's responding to stimuli, she will probably be coming around very soon. You are all still in my prayers.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I also would be sending hte bills to her boyfriend. In cases of marriage, this is the right thing to do.

    I hope the hospital staff can work with you. I am glad she is responding to stimuli.

    Hugs and prayers,


    ps. be sure to take care of yourself. Eat healthy foods and keep hydrated. Also would be a good thing to call YOUR doctor for help with the anxiety.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm glad to hear Jess is responding to stimuli. I think that's a good sign. (and praying hard that it is) And I'm so relieved that you found a judge with a heart (most likely also a parent) and some brains and are able to see her. May much good karma come to the nurse her spoke her mind to the judge.

    If he is her common law husband, I'd make that clear when the bills roll around. You can't have your cake and eat it too. He should be paying her bills.

    I hope the sleeping pills helps you to get some rest tonight.

  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm glad to hear that the judge and the nurse came through for you. Big hugs...
  8. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    Jess woke very briefly around 3am....the nurse said that she woke and seemed very disoriented which is normal but the couple words she managed to get out were very slurred and her face on the right seems to be a little droopy. They are going to run some more tests today to see if she might have had a small stroke.

    But I got to see her! And was so shocked at her appearance. All her lovely hair has been dyed until there isn't any colour left, it's literally white. She is so thin....I could count her ribs and her wrist couldn't be more than three inches around...you can see every knuckle in her fingers. She always was on the thin side but this is beyond that....it's scarey.

    After sitting with her, I spoke with the nurses about boyfriend. The second I walked out of her room, he tore past me...the door was still open so I turned to watch. He sat down on the bed and started whispering in her ear....gave me the chills. This kid is so unstable it's sending chills down my back.

    The nurses said he's very very possessive....treats everyone with suspicion and contempt. But they have a handle on it.

    As for the bills...here in Ontario we get basic health coverage(OHIP) and don't get the big bills thank goodness. But the funny part was when they told me he requested a private room which isn't covered and cost $255 a day....when that was explained, he thought it a good idea to stay on ward. He didn't like having to pay for the phone next to her bed either....so no phone.

    But my baby woke up....happy dance.....still not easy but it helps me face the next couple hours.

  9. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Carolanne, I could not be happier at the news. I am so glad that you got to see her.

    Good job showing restraint and not tripping that SOB on his way into the room, too. You are a better woman than I.

  10. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Glad you got to see her and she's coming around......hoping there is no permanent damage done.........
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm so relieved she is waking and beginning to come around. This news has made my morning!! Hopefully any damage done is just temporary. I'm glad the nurses know the score with boyfriend. It's wonderful you were able to see her. I know your Mommy heart had to hurt to see her so thin.


    SONS GONE WILD Moms goin' crazy

    So happy to hear you got to see her and that she's coming around. Hope things will move forward, positively, from this point on. Take care.
  13. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    That's good news that she woke up. You know, another reason to keep the phone out of the room is to control who she can and can't talk to.
  14. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so glad you got to see her, even her apperance was unsettling. The unknown is harder to take, I think. I pray she continues to respond and come out of this. Sounds like the nurses will keep a close eye on things with the boyfriend, as well. Your definitely have allies there.

  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Glad she's starting to respond, and you were able to see her. Adding my hugs and prayers...hope she recovers soon.
  16. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    SO glad she is awake, and that you got to see your baby. So very glad.

    Wondering if since she tried to commit suicide you could get a court order for a mandatory stay in a phopsh? Here in the US you can only do that for 3 days - but at least that would give her a little time to talk without boyfriend controlling every move she makes. Possibly a mental health care worker at a phosph could get her to open up enough to assess whether or not the boyfriend is a danger to her - or whether she is still a danger to herself.

    Please keep us update, you are in our thoughts & prayers.
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    Sending you strength to endure , hugs to know you are loved, friendship to know you are not alone, and those things that we say at night or when we are in trouble by folding our hands and bowing our head. Lots of those.

  18. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm with Steely. Also, it seems prudent that someone talk to her about birth control, given the circumstances surrounding her last pregnancy. Who knows, she might even enjoy the thought of being on Depo Provera (you don't have to trust her to actually take it) and not having periods.
  19. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    So glad. I'm glad you're getting some peace.

    I know seeing J when he was at his worst was so troubling to me.

    I hope the healing continues.