aeroeng
Mom of Three
I originally came to this site because of son #2, who had a couple of very rough years as a difficult child. He is doing better, has only exploded about three times this summer. The explosions are shorter in duration and he will apologize afterwards. So doing better and trying hard.
Now my problems are with son #3, who Just turned 12, and is completely different then son #1 (although he has learned a lot from him). Son #3 is struggling with frustrations and social skills. He has high intelligence, but seems to act less mature then his age. He seems more like a third or fourth grader then a 7th grader. He actually plays better with third graders, clings to me like a small kid and just acts younger.
Last year he had one very good friend, who he spent most of his free time with. The other kids tended to pick on him, and spread rumors that he and his friend were both gay and were kissing. I would have no problems with a gay child, but this is just not the case. It was that the kids found an effective button. His friend was highly upset about the rumors and in response to them did and said some terrible things to son #3. His teacher helped smooth things out some, but in the end he lost his best friend, just before school got out for the summer.
Now he spends way too much time playing games on the computer in his room. When we do take him places it often ends badly. Last weekend at a group picnic he got frustrated when he fell off of a tube (being pulled at high speed by a boat), it scared and frustrated him. He took the frustration out by physically picking on the other kids and refusing to stop when instructed by the adults. One adult had to go into the water and physically pull him away.
This week he is at sailing camp. Some kids teased him, he got mad dumped all their stuff out all over the room, and lied about it. Once something triggers him he gets in a tuff and won't let go for weeks. Which only continues to damage his relationships with potential friends. He refused to do what the camp counselors instructed him to do. This ended up with a midnight conference call between him, the counselors, husband and me. We finally got him to agree to try to lessen to the counselors (when he agrees to try he usually does), and the counselors agreed to help him with the teasing issues. The counselors are willing to work with him, but they were hired for their sailing skills, and are not mental health experts.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to teach him stronger social skills? Any good books?
[FONT="]Thanks[/FONT]
Now my problems are with son #3, who Just turned 12, and is completely different then son #1 (although he has learned a lot from him). Son #3 is struggling with frustrations and social skills. He has high intelligence, but seems to act less mature then his age. He seems more like a third or fourth grader then a 7th grader. He actually plays better with third graders, clings to me like a small kid and just acts younger.
Last year he had one very good friend, who he spent most of his free time with. The other kids tended to pick on him, and spread rumors that he and his friend were both gay and were kissing. I would have no problems with a gay child, but this is just not the case. It was that the kids found an effective button. His friend was highly upset about the rumors and in response to them did and said some terrible things to son #3. His teacher helped smooth things out some, but in the end he lost his best friend, just before school got out for the summer.
Now he spends way too much time playing games on the computer in his room. When we do take him places it often ends badly. Last weekend at a group picnic he got frustrated when he fell off of a tube (being pulled at high speed by a boat), it scared and frustrated him. He took the frustration out by physically picking on the other kids and refusing to stop when instructed by the adults. One adult had to go into the water and physically pull him away.
This week he is at sailing camp. Some kids teased him, he got mad dumped all their stuff out all over the room, and lied about it. Once something triggers him he gets in a tuff and won't let go for weeks. Which only continues to damage his relationships with potential friends. He refused to do what the camp counselors instructed him to do. This ended up with a midnight conference call between him, the counselors, husband and me. We finally got him to agree to try to lessen to the counselors (when he agrees to try he usually does), and the counselors agreed to help him with the teasing issues. The counselors are willing to work with him, but they were hired for their sailing skills, and are not mental health experts.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to teach him stronger social skills? Any good books?
[FONT="]Thanks[/FONT]