Thank you to all who replied and offered their support and advice regarding my previous post. My stepson had left / been kicked out of a dual diagnosis treatment center in Texas and accepted into another. He has a diagnosis of schizophrenia and bipolar in addition to drug addiction. He willingly fronts up for his shot every month to manage the schizophrenia and says it is working - that he does not hear voices. When you speak to him he is lucid and 'with it.' The part he seems to struggle with is the disordered thinking, impulse control, and lack of ability to plan ahead or organize his affairs at all. He also, by his own description, does not 'like to conform to rules'. His decision making is on the fly, mostly disastrous, and always involves other people supporting him financially.
After being accepted into the second rehab, he ended up in the psychiatric ward about a week later. The hospital is his go to when he has nowhere to stay. The hospital contacted my husband and he then spoke to his son. My husband was unsure after speaking with him whether he conned his way in there or legitimately needed to be there. After being released, the hospital had arranged for him to enter a third rehab. He lasted four days before he was back on the street. He had come in one evening after curfew and refused to take a drug test. He informed my husband that the rehab expected him to comply with rules he didn't appreciate, and that he was going to see if he could make it on his own in Texas.
The first part of this plan involved my husband calling and paying for an Uber to take him where he wanted to go. My husband and I were in another country visiting family at the time. When my husband told him we were unable to make this happen from another country, my stepson said it was clear that we were on vacation having a good time and couldn't be bothered helping our homeless son. I went online and bought a bus ticket for him to travel back to our hometown. We told him to walk the two hours to the bus stop and get the bus home if he did not have the means to support himself. He refused.
For the next week, he was in contact haphazardly, asking for us to send him money (his money from his disability check.) He was asking strangers to allow us to CashApp money to their phones and then give it to him. My husband told him this was a bad idea but he insisted and ended up getting $20 from a nice person and getting ripped off for $180 by a not so nice person. Since this was not his fault, he thinks we should not deduct the lost money from his check and absorb the cost ourselves.
As I type he is on the bus returning to our hometown. My husband has him booked into a local pay by the week hotel with what remains of his disability check.
As is evident, especially to those who have read my previous posts, this boy (he's 21) has no skills to make it on his own. Although he is intelligent, when it comes to getting by in the world he has the skills of a 12 year old. Yet, he won't recognize this. Every misfortune that has befallen him is bad luck, not his fault, and ours to fix. Most we don't fix, and we have let him fall several times. But no matter what we do, help or not, he doesn't seem to learn anything new from these experiences.
We feel very torn and guilty letting a large 12 year old loose on the world. He is harmless but we fear he will come to harm. My eternal question is this, and I know there is no hard and fast answer : How much responsibility is he actually capable of taking? We would so appreciate some quality and consistent help with housing, counseling, and employment, but the social services we have made contact with in our area have either ignored us or turned out to be a disorganized, unprofessional, and unaccountable joke.
After being accepted into the second rehab, he ended up in the psychiatric ward about a week later. The hospital is his go to when he has nowhere to stay. The hospital contacted my husband and he then spoke to his son. My husband was unsure after speaking with him whether he conned his way in there or legitimately needed to be there. After being released, the hospital had arranged for him to enter a third rehab. He lasted four days before he was back on the street. He had come in one evening after curfew and refused to take a drug test. He informed my husband that the rehab expected him to comply with rules he didn't appreciate, and that he was going to see if he could make it on his own in Texas.
The first part of this plan involved my husband calling and paying for an Uber to take him where he wanted to go. My husband and I were in another country visiting family at the time. When my husband told him we were unable to make this happen from another country, my stepson said it was clear that we were on vacation having a good time and couldn't be bothered helping our homeless son. I went online and bought a bus ticket for him to travel back to our hometown. We told him to walk the two hours to the bus stop and get the bus home if he did not have the means to support himself. He refused.
For the next week, he was in contact haphazardly, asking for us to send him money (his money from his disability check.) He was asking strangers to allow us to CashApp money to their phones and then give it to him. My husband told him this was a bad idea but he insisted and ended up getting $20 from a nice person and getting ripped off for $180 by a not so nice person. Since this was not his fault, he thinks we should not deduct the lost money from his check and absorb the cost ourselves.
As I type he is on the bus returning to our hometown. My husband has him booked into a local pay by the week hotel with what remains of his disability check.
As is evident, especially to those who have read my previous posts, this boy (he's 21) has no skills to make it on his own. Although he is intelligent, when it comes to getting by in the world he has the skills of a 12 year old. Yet, he won't recognize this. Every misfortune that has befallen him is bad luck, not his fault, and ours to fix. Most we don't fix, and we have let him fall several times. But no matter what we do, help or not, he doesn't seem to learn anything new from these experiences.
We feel very torn and guilty letting a large 12 year old loose on the world. He is harmless but we fear he will come to harm. My eternal question is this, and I know there is no hard and fast answer : How much responsibility is he actually capable of taking? We would so appreciate some quality and consistent help with housing, counseling, and employment, but the social services we have made contact with in our area have either ignored us or turned out to be a disorganized, unprofessional, and unaccountable joke.
