Mail comes with envelope with gfg2s return on it

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mrscatinthehat, Dec 15, 2007.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    So I opened it carefully. Never know what he might have snuck in it. The card was ok. There was also a notice for a party on the 20th.

    Now this frustrates me. In the holiday season why would they wait so long to let parents know of a party at the program? Then I look and realize that it is on Thursday. The time 4-6. NOw husband and I went to the summer one. We brought a dish etc. husband can in no way shape or form go this time. Thursday is one of those nights for him at work that unless death or maiming (his mind you no one elses) he really can't miss.

    So now we have the dilemna. I don't know how comfortable I am going by myself. Obviously staff will be there but so are all the other kids (this is an offender program and I know how violent mine is what are the others like) and their families. I would have no problem bringing something but I just don't know if I am comfortable alone.

    I know difficult child would be disappointed (as if that doesn't happen a lot) but I just am not sure I have the strength to do this alone. I do have a commitment that day (that I could get out of easily but he doesn't know that) so I could always use that as the reason.. You know since you informed us so late dad can't take off work and I committed to such and such. But I feel torn. This should not be that big of a deal.

    I just wish I weren't so afraid to go do things with him right now. That would make a huge difference.

    I have to rsvp soon but I am sure when we are there for the staffing on Monday he will ask. So I have to know by then what my decision is. ARgh, why do they make it so hard to do things with them?

  2. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I am having basically the same problem. I'm not really sure how to behave where it comes to difficult child and the holidays because mine has made sure that every holiday has turned to poop.

    I've had to do so much on my own that I'm not afraid to go anywhere by myself. I work with homeless people and a lot are former inmates and you get to the point where you realize you just have to go for it. Some of them have been nicer than people I've know who are out.

    Laughing as I ask this because I don't - but do you have a friend that would go with you instead of husband? And is this something you would regret not going to if you didn't?

    I think one of the hardest thing about parenting a difficult child is that history tells us if you do A, then B will happen. But we keep trying because we love our kids and while 49 out of 50 tries if you do A, then B DID happen - it leaves us jaded. But if you did something for difficult child 49 times and then the 50th time said "Nope I'm not NOT NOT going to - you'd always wonder if THAT could have been the ONE time things were different."

    I think you should go - maybe your indifference to the entire thing and questioning your going - is telling you to go. You could always leave if it wasn't what you thought.

    Hugs - I know this is difficult. Believe me.

  3. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Funny with the way you have been wrestling with the holidays your response took me by surprise. As such I will definately think on it.

    I do a lot of things on my own these days (activities and such). Especially with the Red Cross. You never know how that will go or who you will meet.

    You nailed on the head the fact that I will wonder if this would be the one time things would be different. ARgh. And blast it if it doesn't just boil down to I love him and me being there is the one thing I said I would do when I adopted him.

    Just so frustrating. I may not tell him and just let it be a surprise. Then he can't plan to do something to sabotage it. I might try that route.

  4. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Hopefully, staff will stop the kids from acting out too much. I'd go just because I couldn't live with the what ifs.

    Good luck on your decision. It's one of those there is no right, no wrong. You just have to follow your heart or your head and do what is right for you.
  5. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I think the staff will be there to supervise and they will take plenty of precautions I'm sure. Hopefully sure anyway. Go and have a good time, remember you can always leave. -Alyssa
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I lost my post. RATS!

    It was worded much better than this one, lol. Bottom line is GO.
    You don't have to want to go, you don't have to like to go, you don't have to stay for the whole thing...but Go!

    Why?? Because you never know what might happen next week or next
    month or next year and you don't want to regret your choice.

    I know it's hard...but do it! DDD
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    DDD - :bravo:

    I agree with DDD!!!