Manster Struggling

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ML, Nov 28, 2008.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    I have spoken to manster at least 5 times a day since he left on Tuesday. Every time I talk to him his voice sounds so fragile. I know he is homesick. I can tell he is trying so hard not to cry. He's using all of his coping skills right now to adapt to a new environment at his Grandma's. There was too much down time yesterday and he doesn't have his electronics. But today they are doing Disneyland so hopefully he'll have fun.

    This is good for him. He needs to develop these skills. His anxiety is just through the roof but I keep thinking the more he practices certain things, like being away from home and meeting new people, the easier it will become.

    Everything is so painful for some of our kids. I won't be surprised if he's chewed all the sleeves on his shirts to shreds!

    The emotional fragility scares me. I pray that I'm doing the right things for him right now and that if a better way, strategy, medication out there that I find it.

    Thanks for being here.

  2. Jena

    Jena New Member


    Hi, it can be so difficult making choices regarding our kids, than hoping we are making the right ones, isn't it??

    So, how long is he there for i'm so sorry i don't remember from your last posts?? Disneyland sounds great! Im sure he'll have a great time. I think you are right it is important for them to practice their coping skills. You can't get good at anything without alot of practice, why should this be any different.

    How are you feeling about him being away??
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    He comes back tomorrow night. I miss him but I needed this time to relax and recharge. This has been good for both of us. Because of his neediness and my overprotectiveness we have this bond that needs to lessen and it's painful for both of us.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?


    Who cares about shirt sleeves?

    BUT, for the last $1000 neuropsyche review, I got one tidbit of info that was very helpful for us regarding that exact same topic. I'll share it with you FOR FREE!

    My difficult child chews his shirts, too. And the Occupational Therapist (OT) at the neuropsyche evaluation suggested going to Lowe's and buying refrigerator ice maker water line tubing. Its about 7 cents a foot, similar to a straw in consistency, and they can chew a piece all day long. Its been a shirt-saver, for sure.

    We cut the tubing into 5 or 6 inch pieces, then use a heated nail to put holes in each end and then feed a cord thru it so he can wear it like a necklace. Sometimes he puts beads or something else on it, too, and when he gets into shirt chewing mode, he chows on the necklace instead.

    The Occupational Therapist (OT) said she had kids that just kept a piece in their pocket, too.
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    ML ok i soo see your point. Our children seem to be very much alike. my difficult child could never go away like that from me, she barely make it to dad's every other weekend. i'm glad you have this time to take your medications and get grounded again and well :)
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That is sooo hard- I remember hearing that in difficult child's voice at times, too. But, it sounds like with a visit to Disneyland today and coming home tomorrow, you (and he) are on the tail end of this. It probably will be a good lesson for him, as you mentioned. I hope things go well for you on Sunday and next week...
  7. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I think it's very positive that you know you need to be less protective and he needs to be less needy.

    I'm sure he's going to have lots of fun at Disneyland. And, it's good that you have this time away from him to "recharge."

    Thinking of you. WFEN
  8. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    Hope he ended up having fun at Disney!!
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I think it is good for him to practice his skills with the anxiety. and it is excellent for you to get a break!

    I hope he has fun.

    As for the refridgerator tubing, it works IF your difficult child likes the taste/texture of it. It is sure cheaper to find out that way than to buy the "chewy hammer" and toehr things from the Occupational Therapist (OT) supply places for chewing. thank you HATES the plastic stuff.

    So I buy his shirts at the thrift store and let him eat them if he needs to.

    Hugs for mommy and manster. this separation is tough!
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope Disneyland was fun for Manster!