Me, my files, and open door after 4

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Star*, Oct 20, 2009.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Are going to meet the governor. I've asked for an audience. I called the head of the office that governs the caseworkers office and he didn't care to return my calls. I called Protection and Advocacy three times for two weeks - no return call. I've called the Governor's office of the State of South Carolina and an attorney for civil rights. I've giving the state a chance to find out why and how they feel they can toss out a 19 year old child with severe emotional disabilities when their agenda clearly states they will not ever do that right on their web site.

    I'm giving them more of a chance than they gave Dude. Dude is calling a civil rights attorney. I'm not sure you can just give a 2 week notice without continued help and refer a client to a homeless shelter when he's severely disabled. But I guess we're going to find out. I'm waiting on a call back from the governors secretary.

    I warned them, I gave them a chance to call and explain, I've played by the rules and now? I'm done. My next stop - taking all the rotten things that have been allowed to go on over the last 10 years to the news media and asking them if they'd like to know what happens to the disabled in SC's foster care and the caseworkers office.

    A letter saying thanks for 10 years and here's the address of the homeless shelter? Really? How about YOU being out of a job and seeking employment at Wendys?
  2. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Star, just thinking of you and Dude. So sorry. Life makes no sense. I wish our older difficult children could reach out to each other. That would help them mature. I know mine are always willing to go the extra mile for a fellow difficult's a strange kind of brotherhood.
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending my spare set of Warrior Mom armor, just in case you need it. I'm right behind you, Star.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Right behind you Star.:warrior:

    You've no idea what I'd give to be a fly on the wall during your meeting. The govenor hasn't got the slightest inkling what he's in for. Odds are he's never come face to face with an enrage warrior mom before........and little does he know he's facing down one of the best.

  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I have thought about this a lot.....I have prayed about this even more.

    It's not so much that I want blood or revenge or anything like that. I just want to be heard. I don't think anyone can give me answers for what has been done. I just want the boss of the people that have held my sons life's decisions in their hands for the last ten years to know what kind of an outcome and lousy job has emminated from their lax efforts. I want him to know that the last three years have been mostly on the shoulders of the parents and that had it not been for us? I'm not sure if my son would even be alive.

    I want him to know that my son's education is non-existant and that we were lied to about accredited schools. That should never EVER have happened.

    I want him to know that the foster care system is unregulated to the degree of being on the verge of abuse.

    I want him to know that the agency that has supposedly cared for him under HIS name - got together in a meeting without my son present and decided to give a child with severe emotional disabilities two weeks to get out, or go to a homeless shelter. No job skills - no help in getting skills, no education, no help in getting to interviews, no help with all the things they made the fosters promise to do. That's what I want someone to be accountable for. Caseworkers are supposed to make home visits once a month - happened twice in the last year and 1/2. Why? Is he not accountable for that? He's supposed to fill out the paperwork - nope I have. I just want to know if this man knows how the buck gets passed in that program - and if that's how it's going to be shouldn't that money be put to better use?

    That's what I want HIM to know about. And I want the director of the agency and everyone under him to answer why. Why when the kid has held up his part of the deal - did they do this to him? Why is everyone else allowed to cheat and skate and not be held accountable - but tell a 19 year old kid with disabilities that he has to - when he is mentored by others who are not?

    That's what I want answered. I' m not raging- I want answers and that's typically worse.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Isnt your beloved Governor in some sort of behind closed doors meeting to see if they are going to kick him out right now? I thought I heard that on tv.

    However maybe his own troubles might make him most receptive to Dudes problems right now. This could be the best time to strike. When he is feeling the heat of legal trouble he could be feel the most empathetic. If you have never felt that sting, you never know how it could possibly feel but now he does know so he might be more able to step if not into your shoes, at least slightly in your direction.
  7. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Go get 'em, Star. I forgot about your Governor's woes until Janet mentioned it.. maybe he'd like a "cause" to fight for, to fix his tarnished image.. this could a great opportunity ;-)
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am right there with you, Star! I am just horrified by how Dude is being treated. I think that the foster system needs to be scrapped and remade. I am just not srue that the administration has enough of a clue to be able to weed the good from the bad. Heck, I am not sure I would trust them to make my salad, much less make my margarita or care for my child!

    Take it to the media, start a web page/blog, put some things on YouTube and get Dude and his friends to promote it.

    I am willing to pay big $$ to bet that a video of various places Dude was placed, an inteview with you and him about what was promised, delivered and denied would be rather popular. Esp with as many people are in fostercare.

    The fosters that Dude has met gives those who work to be good fosters a bad name. One teacher my dad worked with always had foster kids. Sometimes 4 or 5. I saw how hard she worked and how she loved each child. I wish that Dude had fosters like that.

    Many hugs, and a guardian angel to open the doors to the governor's heart and brain so that he can grasp the problem and help Dude and other foster kids ASAP.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Star, it just occurred to me that you might even be able to get the attention of the NATIONAL news if the governor doesn't care to help you. Wouldn't THAT make a great story?

    Governor let the foster care system disintegrate to the point that young men were prevented from getting an education by putting them into placements where they physically could not get to school, or where they had to PAY to get transportation to school? Governor already on the hot seat kicks disabled youth out of care with no supports, no job and no resources after foster care placements refused to fulfill their duties to get the young adult to school and job interviews.

    I think you could twist this and really let the media see what went on, how it kept happening over and over AND how badly Dude ended up after they just kicked him out.

    NOT that I want Dude to fail. I just think that this could end up being good leverage.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Not being anger is going to send chills down his spine. You can throw an angry/revenge filled person off balance and blow them out of the water. A calm person seeking answers, and informed person seeking answers, is gonna scare him to death.

    I hope with the current news.......I've heard some whispers.....but I don't watch the news......that mr. gov man is smart enough to hop on this and make heads roll. This is exactly what is wrong with the whole system.

    And the kids are the big losers.
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Susie -

    We think 2 - no return call for appointment. Interesting huh?
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Star* if you need a support team to march right on in to Mr Gov's office and make a statement - I am here. Seriously, I would fly up and be there with you in a heartbeat. I cannot stand this cr@p our kids go through for one more minute.

    Please know you are in my thoughts, and prayers tonight. You have a whole warrior team behind you ~ so let us know what we can do.
  13. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Are you certain that he's not on the Appalachian Trail this week? I hear those fall colors are beautiful and contemplative...

    If it's "open door", just go.
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Obviously I agree with everyone else. May I make a suggestion to be added to the meeting agenda? Once he is "informed" I rather imagine he is going to directly ask you "What do you want me to do Mrs. Starbie?"

    Be prepared to have a specific list of what Dude needs and deserves. As a former human rights activist it is apparent that "the system" deficiencies and poor leadership needs to be addressed but while you may start the ball rolling (I surely hope so!), you want to assure specific interventions for your son. He will get lost in the shuffle or singled out by those feeling the heat if you don't have a "he needs and deserves" list. DDD
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Star...Im dying to get this sort of how we are failing the mentally ill on all levels in all states. Take the loss of indigent care funds here, the closing of RTCs and foster care in MN, and your problems in SC...and I want this on the national news. Im thinking CNN. They did a whole series on how Special Education kids were getting poor quality education, why not this? It ties in.
  16. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Star, you go ... fight ... win! Hopefully the gov will have some sense and listen to you, and then DO something about this outrageous situation. Like send some heads rolling. As others have mentioned, he might be quicker to act if only to deflect attention from his own woes. Whatever the motive, if he starts a cleanup in the whole corrupt foster care system, bravo - for you, for getting it going! Best of luck!
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911

    D3 - et al....

    Give me your best suggestions - WHAT do we need?