Metophorically *me*

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Steely, Sep 19, 2011.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Before I share this complicated metaphor (lol - you know me) - it would help to know that *a Quaking Aspen tree propagates by using a rhizome There can be acres and acres of one Aspen Forest, that are all clones of each other, coming from one single root system.

    Secondly most of you know that the last 3 years have had a lot of loss, this last year being the pinnacle. So as I was sitting outside on the porch today, and I tried to put into words what I feel inside - this is what my pen wrote....

    As the root to my beautiful Quaking Aspen Grove, I shudder with the reality that most of my forest was just destroyed. A raging hot fire, swept through relentlessly without giving a second thought to the life it was destroying. It took down the part of the forest that so many others delighted in; sought shade from; the glorious part where the leaves quaked and clapped in the wind; the fertilized part that had grown full in its glory; that had creatures using it for refuge and food; where birds whistled from the crests of the upper boughs; and where the sun dappled the leaves creating designs that danced into twilight. The fire, without mercy, destroyed an entire ecosystem that held so much joy.

    From outward appearances nothing is left of my grove. The few trees that survived were on the other side of the hill. They are thin fledglings, that rarely got sun, let alone noticed. In fact I did not even know this small grove existed. They took virtually no water; and were shrouded by the larger forest, leaving them crooked, ugly little saps. Yet now, all of the water that pumped fervently through my soul was funneled to just those little shoots, and the sun shone on them radiantly, since the other trees no longer towered. They could grow into a forest just as beautiful as the other, if they chose. Yet some were scared to be in so much light, others were mad that they did not have the big trees shielding them from the wind and elements, some were outraged that the other animals wanted to seek them out for food and refuge, and others annoyed that birds wanted to make noise from their branches. It was all new, uncomfortable, foreign, and it created a complete malfunction in the symbiosis of my grove.

    All I could do is hope. It is all I had as I gently gave them all the benefits the other trees had. Sunshine, water, love; yet it was up to those new sprouts to decide how tall they wanted to become; how much shade they wanted to offer, how many birds they would allow to sing; how much they would decide to flourish and become beautiful. I laid awake at night, fearful, and full of trepidation, that the fledgling trees would yield to their fears, discomfort, and pain, and simply give up.Their lack of courage to face the elements and overcome, would be my demise. I would die a sudden death, without my new grove finding their strength, their destiny, their mission. I needed all of them to grow into all they could possibly be, in order for the grove to once again become a vibrant source of energy, oxygen, beauty, housing, and food - yet the decision for all of us rested within their boughs.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2011
  2. keista

    keista New Member

    WOW! enough said.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Steely, I'm going to reread your post in the morning...when I'm completely sober, LOL Hugs. DDD
  4. MuM_of_OCD_kiddo

    MuM_of_OCD_kiddo New Member

    Steely [I have been following your recent losses and upheavals] - speaking in metaphors: in nature wildfires are the great rejuvenators.

    Big raging fires seem to destroy everything in their path, but are actually making place for the newly emerging seedlings and are providing light, air, and added fertilizer and new resources to what is newly emerging. In smaller fires or controlled burns, the fires destroy weedy underbrush, parasites and beetles, and the - at first sight perceived - damage to established trees is actually serving as a beneficial jolt which causes stimulation, rejuvenation and vigorous growth during the next growing season.

    Allow yourself a time to grief and rest, lose ballast and remove the burdens and parasites from your life [guilt, pain, anger, negative emotions, people that are not good for you]. Use the good things and sometimes bittersweet memories that remain as fertilizer for your new start=over. Utilize your experiences, your knowledge and allow those new saplings to emerge and permit the surviving trees to green out and continue to rise into the light once more. Grow, Steely - grow! Upwards. Outwards, not inward. Hugs!
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    And... that was beautiful!
  6. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    WOW!!! Well said and very well written. Keep writing and keep them all together. This could be a book if you keep it up. I am so impressed (and jealous)!
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    What an awesome piece of self expression. You obviously are extremely talented. The words flow in a beautiful way and seem effortless. Perhaps you've always known you had the gift and the events of the recent years are allowing you to use it. Thanks for sharing. DDD

    PS: I'm a bit envious!
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Thank you all for the compliments.....

    DDD you know I never have been sure if I could write or not - truthfully it has always just been a dream since I can remember. I wrote a lot in school, and then my life got de-railed with "stuff". I started writing again about 10 years ago, for 2 years, and have half a book finished. Then I got massive writer's block and Matt was spiraling and I stopped. Since I got fired last year, writing is all I wanted to do. It just pounds in me, but then with my Dad sick, and traveling every other week to pack houses, etc - I just only inked out only about another 2 chapters. It sucked.

    So now that I have moved, I am trying to settle and make both finishing the book and making money a priority. It is hard, because when I am working, then it sucks all the creativity out of me - so I am going to try and make a go of a dog care/walking business where I can have free hours at a time to write.

    I hope it all works out...because there is nothing that would make more happy....nothing - than getting this book published. But we will see - it is a long shot to say the least. And I am not writing easy stuff - it is a memoir about my life - and it is grueling to re-hash all of the cr@p I went through and then to try and put it into prose that flow and move people.
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Steely... The he!! with other people. Write for you. Because that's how your best stuff comes out. Honestly, the bit above WAS very moving.

    You can do cleanup later. Just write.
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    We're behind you...!

    Dog businesses... one successful one here has a neat combo idea... they are "pooper scoopers" - clean up other people's yards and haul away the gunk. PLUS dog-walking, in-home care (as in you're gone for 2 days - they come and go and look after pets), and a small in-house boarding sideline - for fully housefied dogs only (not just house trained - but totally house friendly and need to be inside and around people). Some also add basic grooming - nail trims, brushing, maybe bath - not necessarily pretty hair-cuts unless you want to. Some have "doggy day care" - think child-care for dogs.
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    In my local newspaper this morning there was notice of a "Scribe Club" meeting. The writeup stipulated that the Club is open to anyone interested in writing with published and non-published writers welcome. Made me think of you! I live in a small community and it occured to me that maybe there is a similar group within driving distance of your new home.
    Sounds like a great idea for you. Hugs DDD
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Thank you DDD....I will have to look in my paper, or on CraigsList. Great idea. I went to my counselor today, and she suggested some similar things to help with my depression. I guess should follow the direction life is leading me, huh:)
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I hope it's available, Steely. DDD
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911

    The aspen forest is the largest family ........of living things on the planet that are "connected" to each other.

    Nice that you feel connected to us too. Metaphorically speaking. ;-)
  15. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So true star:). Aspens have always, since I was a little kid, been my favorite tree....and you guys are very much my"family".....don't know what I would do without you all.