Minor Vandalism. Yay.

Discussion in 'Failure to Thrive' started by AnnieO, Apr 7, 2016.

  1. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I had mentioned that a certain young man was going for all the quick and easy food, and not eating leftovers in the fridge or whatever else we might have available. Which, honestly, is a LOT.

    I went to make a batch of peanut butter banana waffles to freeze for Rose's breakfasts - she has to eat before she goes to the sitter, and there's not a lot of time. So I went into the cabinet... 2 64-oz jars of peanut butter (which are expensive in my opinion)... Gone. Bought 10 days ago. I managed to scrape about 1/4 cup out of both combined. I wouldn't be upset, but a GALLON of peanut butter in less than 2 weeks?! Good grief.

    OK. So I turned then to the freezer, to get something out. Well, we had gone back to the previous M.O. of locking it, so that Bill and Rose's breakfasts, and the ingredients for dinner, would actually BE there. (FWIW the smaller freezer beside the fridge is well stocked with bread and other easy foods... Not to mention ALL.THE.STUFF. in the fridge and pantry.) So I reach for the key when I notice that it's slightly open - like it hadn't closed all the way. What's keeping it open? A can opener. One of the ones commonly called a church key. It's jammed in there. After Bill sees it, I unlock and open it... Everything inside is covered in a layer of frost. Nothing's thawed, so it's only been an hour or so - but the seal itself is punctured. When we close the freezer the temp alert begins beeping (shuts off after a while, I guess.)

    A new gasket (seal) costs $150. Good news... it was a small puncture, and Bill was able to fix it.

    All he has to do is ASK. And for that matter, when he has a lot of other easily available stuff, WHY?

    He denied it, of course...
  2. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    You have to love the denials.

    Mine would deny missing items, even food, and there were only the three of us at home! I once said, "Dad didn't take it. I didn't take it. So who exactly is left in this house?" He had no answer to that, but still denied it. o_O
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Just my opinion here.

    Mine went through a stage of something similar. Later - long after it stopped - he had two reasons. Both of which kind of make sense. But remember - this kid was raised by both bio-parents - no early attachment issues, no abuse, no chaos.

    Reason 1: He liked the challenge. Keep him out? "Can't be done". Well... we did succeed a little bit, but yes, he definitely liked these kinds of challenges.

    Reason 2: When attachment became an issue later (yes, attachment issues can develop later, but it's not Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)), he was afraid that the stuff that was available and in the open would suddenly not be available. He didn't trust us to provide for him. Until we could get past this dis-attachment problem, the food stealing problem continued.

    I did use the food stealing problem to our advantage, though. I kept non-perishable stuff that was close to or just past due date, also under lock and key - but it was a lock fairly easy to bypass. He would eat whatever was in there. So I made sure there was peanut butter, canned fruit (and a can opener lol), corn chips... at least some food value, so it wasn't all sugar.
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    That's the funny thing here. He knows what's in that freezer... Portioned out raw meat for our dinners, frozen vegetables, frozen soups. Extra butter and cheese. Flour and raw bacon. PLUS - Bill's and Rose's quick-and-easy breakfasts, ice cream, and sliced cheese, which is really what he is after.

    This child can (and has) gone through a 24-slice package of sliced cheese in 2 days. This is why it is kept in the freezer, under lock & key... and those breakfast sandwiches, the frozen waffles (homemade). We also keep our lunches in there, since we need quick food most days.

    In our refrigerator, right now, is a large chunk of leftover meatloaf, two XL slices of pizza, a huge bowl of mashed potatoes, 3 lbs of baby carrots, two cut-up celery stalks, string cheese, pre-packaged salad, oranges, apples, eggs, milk, some sliced cheese, lunch meats, some bars of cheese (these are muenster and swiss), and the normal assortment of condiments and sides like pickles. In the freezer side are extra loaves of wheat bread, popsicles, smoothies, frozen sandwiches, and some frozen veggies.

    Don't even get me started on all the goodies in the pantry, cereals and home-canned fruit, soups, snack crackers, raisins, popcorn, and on and on and on.

    However, what do all of the accessible things have in common? They either require work or are (ahem) healthy. Kid used to love apples and bananas, but no other fruit. Carrots and that sort of thing are not food to him but something we forced him to eat. Unless coerced, he won't TOUCH leftovers... Unless it's plain rice. The kid can go through an entire box of saltines in a day. Or an entire bag of tortilla chips.

    It is as if he wants to eat only the most unhealthy things he can find... That would be healthy when combined with other stuff. Because peanut butter is reasonable, but 128 oz in 10 days can't possibly be...
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, and challenge? Perhaps, but he's never been interested in a challenge before... (And I forgot to add, if he glanced up, there are two family sized bags of tortilla chips on TOP of the freezer... LOL)
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member


    The eating tons of one thing and not a balanced diet. I can relate. That was ME until... probably age 25 or older. I literally lived on white bread and a few fruits and a couple of raw veggies - plus very particular sorts of protein. And all the sugar I could get my hands on.

    Sugar and starch are a form of self-medicating for stress. It's insane - because eating healthy is a better way to self-medicate for stress. But our bodies don't crave that. In some ways, its like being addicted to sugar and starch.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    At 17, Miss KT lived on a steady diet of Kraft Mac-n-cheese, chicken soup made of bouillon cubes with a handful of noodles thrown in, rice pilaf, corn, biscuits, pancakes, and sourdough toast, with the occasional hamburger, hot dog, or taco for variety. And blue Gatorade slushies from the Texaco station near the school.

    Since Hubby and I did not wish to eat that kind of thing, she cooked for herself. Or went hungry and told the universe that we didn't have food. She went crying to Useless Boy's mother, who said, "I don't believe that there's no food in the house. Your mother and her husband are much too overweight to have no food." Thanks for the support, you old bag.

    Wouldn't that much peanut butter clog his intestines?
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    My son would not touch anything healthy. His diet would consist of only hot Cheetos if he could get away with it. He will steal them if he could not get them any other way.
  9. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Ditto. He was always a picky eater, even as a toddler. He would literally throw up if you forced him to take a bit of something he didn't want. Second time he puked after I stuck a carrot in his mouth, I gave up and fed him what he wanted. There was a point when he literally ate nothing but cold cereal and corn dogs...and he was TINY then - like under 4. His doctor told me as long as he ate fortified cereal not to worry about it, it would pass. He's branched out a bit, but to this day he won't eat a piece of lettuce or a tomato, to the point of picking the "chunks" out of spaghetti sauce. We kept canned mandarin oranges and apricots in the house all the time and fed them to him at every meal. That was the healthiest thing he'd eat.
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    ...But she was cooking! LOL he doesn't even go that far.

    Sounds about right... LOL

    You would think... He does regularly clog the toilet. He used to have major problems with constipation as a child... But when your main dietary staple is peanut butter and American cheese sandwiches... Yuck. You'd think he'd HATE those now. That was what he got used to, because he could make it for himself at Mommy's from a very early age.

    I guess I don't relate... I have always loved healthy food. Age 21, I was taking whole yellow squash to work and microwaving them for dinner...

    :rofl: that would have been Belle!!!

    Yup. Pat did similar. I tried to work around it, making something he liked and something he didn't. I got the kid to love Brussels sprouts and pasta with actual sauce on it. We had filet mignon one night that he stuffed in his cheeks then spit in the toilet... OMG. But that all stopped when, one night, I made traditional enchiladas, and made a separate batch with a cheese and sour cream sauce instead of red chile. He ate a serving, then announced to everyone at the table that "next time you can just make me something else." Bill blew his top and told Pat that from that point on, he'd eat what we cooked or starve.
  11. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    difficult child 1 does this kind of eating too. He eats the same thing all day every day for a period of time, sometimes days or sometimes months, then switch to something else. He has gone through cheeseburger phases, Chicken Ramen phases, bagels with peanut butter, mac & cheese, chips & salsa, and is currently on a tuna bender. LOL My theory with difficult child 1 is that as long as he eats and doesn't get "fat", let him. As an adult, he's going to be eating the way he wants anyway so I quit fighting the food battle. I used to be the same way, though not as rigid, until I had my boys and had to make a point of mixing it up a lot. To be honest, I'd put this "problem" into the "not worth fighting about" basket.
  12. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    LOL Pat has been doing this all his life... And he is overweight and undernourished. :sigh: And there's no fighting about it... It's when he gets into stuff that is set aside for others. Or for dinner. It's hard to make stir fry when someone has eaten an entire 5-lb bag of rice... Know what I mean??
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Sorry, I just have to ask.
    How does someone eat "an entire 5-lb bag of rice"?
    I'm assuming he does not COOK it...
  14. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Well, it's not hard to cook, especially if one has a rice cooker. husband and I used to go through about a lb of dry rice a day between us when we were eating mostly Asian and Indian food.

    We used to buy it 50lbs at a time.
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I really doubt Pat is cooking anything.
    More likely... just munching his way through a bag of dry rice.
    Which would cause all sorts of other problems...
  16. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Ugh. yeah. Big intestional issues. I can see major constipation at the least.
  17. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Actually, the one exposure to uncooked rice that I had, it didn't even make it to my innards. I was eating rice and somehow an uncooked grain had found its way into my bowl. I bit down on it and broke a tooth so badly it had to be pulled. It was brown rice if that makes a difference.

    Kid must have excellent teeth if nothing else.
  18. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    LOL! You guys make me laugh.

    He DOES in fact have major constipation issues. But beyond that, he does cook it, in the microwave. And, no, he does NOT clean out the microwave when it boils over, as it does every time. TBH I have not seen him going through dry rice recently. He did take an entire box of crackers last night... The ones husband had labeled "stay out". (Because every time we go to get crackers for soup or meatloaf, there are none...) HID them from me. Well, tried. I reminded him there was plenty of real food in the house, he needed to eat that.

    (I'll start another thread over the other weirdness from this weekend.)

    This is just another piece of the puzzle. It's not a pretty picture, either.
  19. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I understand.
    They can think so far outside of the box that we really have trouble warping our brains far enough to catch what they are thinking... and I have the advantage of being warped to start with.
  20. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    What drives me nuts is that because my mind is warped due to the bipolar, people assume I can completely understand what is going on in my sister's head because she is also bipolar.

    It starts with the fact that she is hypersexual and I'm celibate and sort of goes downhill from there.

    Even my mother does it.