More than just Marijuana (it is a gateway drug).

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by SeaGenieTx, Sep 16, 2015.

  1. SeaGenieTx

    SeaGenieTx Active Member

    My 23 year old started with marijuana and alcohol. He experimented with Molly, WhipIts, uppers, downers - you name it. All the time he was telling me "Mom, all I do is smoke pot, you don't have to worry". Lies.

    One thing an addict becomes is a master liar and manipulator. My only son, my only family I have left, has been a pot addict for the past two-three years. He has been arrested 3 times (twice for marijuana under 2 ounces, once for driving with suspended license and drug paraphernalia).

    In checking his bank records I saw a recent charge for almost $600 to a small town county courthouse. When I Googled that particular courthouse and entered my son's name in the criminal records search, I discovered on August 8 of this year he had a run in with the law and was ticketed for driving with a suspended license (his stupid girlfriend's mother loaned him her car), drug paraphernalia and no proof of insurance.

    He paid the fines and now that is added to his criminal record. I lost my mind when I found out and he blamed ME by saying "That was the day you kicked me out of the house". So it's MY fault I kicked him out and he goes to his girlfriend's house and her clueless mother gives him the keys to her Lexus. First of all he knew good and well he can't drive while his license is suspended and after three prior arrests, why on earth with he be so friggin stupid to have drug paraphernalia in the car with them? His girlfriend was with him the 2nd time he got arrested (cops let her go). She is as stupid as he is.

    I'm afraid my son is going to end up in prison. At age 23 he is obsessed with drugs and partying. He spends hundreds at smoke shops buying who knows what. He and his girlfriend are now into "dabbing" (smoking concentrated butane hash oil (BHO). If you guys haven't heard of this - investigate! It's a more potent way to get high than the conventional form. It's basically a stronger, faster, high.

    Yep, my son has been doing it. He, his girlfriend and his buddies are dumb enough to post pics of them "dabbing" on their Instagram accounts. My son has yet to hold down a job, make any attempt to go to school or do anything productive with his life. He received an inheritance which he is blowing on food, partying, concerts, crap at smoke shops, cell phone bill, court fees. He has wasted almost $10K in court/attorneys/fines. He's paid for it from his inheritance/savings and it makes me sick that money is just being wasted. But nothing I can do.

    I've been thru the anger, hurt, devastation. He's not the son I raised and I can do nothing to change his ways. He is out of my house and staying with his girlfriend at her moms. He has zero respect for me nor does he care about me so I've cut him off. I'm truly afraid he is in deep and becoming a true addict.

    I feel helpless but I have had to completely detach. I can't help him, he thinks I know nothing. I'm just so afraid to get that phone call or knock on my door that he's dead. Jail - I can handle, dead from an overdose, I can not.

    I raised my son alone as a single mom. I was an excellent mom, always there for school functions, made sure birthdays and holidays were amazing, spent time taking him on cool trips, took him fishing, always set a good example and told him independence was extremely important. In return I got a selfish, ungrateful, drug addicted worthless son with zero motivation to be anything in life other than a "partier".

    I just can not figure out what went wrong with this kid. I did everything to teach him right from wrong and give him a solid foundation, never spoiling him but making him see the value of money and hard work. So much for that - I feel like the last 23 years was a lie and this demon was just waiting to come out of my son and cause all this misery.

    It all started with pot smoking and now he is doing it all. He has already seen two of his female friends die from heroin overdoses. Do these kids have sh!t for brains and never learn?
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi Sea, you don't have to convince me about pot. You see my state is putting it on the ballot in November and I am not happy. I watched what pot did to my daughter. Of course the argument is that if it were legal your son would never have been arrested for any of those drug charges. The fact that it leads to them trying other more potent drugs completely escapes them.

    You WERE a good mom, I give you so much credit for raising him as a single mom. It is not your fault. I can't tell you how many moms in my support group are just like you and I, responsible parents who did everything they thought was right. Any yet their kids turned to drugs for whatever reason. I read your signature and you are so strong, you are an inspiration. I hope that strength sustains until your son hopefully grows up and decides he doesn't want to live like this anymore
  3. SeaGenieTx

    SeaGenieTx Active Member

    Thank you SO much Nancy. That is exactly what my son kept trying to tell me, if pot was legal, he wouldn't have a criminal history... pot is no big deal, blah, blah, blah. Pot fries your brain, turns you into a worthless slug, leads to other more serious drugs. It's not the marijuana of the 70's - it's much stronger. And after listening to my son hack his lungs out coughing every morning after a night of smoking - who says that crap doesn't cause lung cancer? Thank you Nancy for your kind words. Hugs to you my friend.:angel:
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Not all. Some. And it is really the addiction that they are fighting. There is an insatiable need to take drugs like heroin, which is why it is so hard to quit. Pot, like alcohol before it, will ruin many lives and it will be legal. I don't think we need to legalize more stuff that fries many of our brains, but it is what it is.

    Actually, somebody told me once that the number #1 Gateway drug is cigarettes. Few kids who never smoke cigarettes go on to have a career with other substances.

    Just food for thought.
  5. SeaGenieTx

    SeaGenieTx Active Member

    My son, his friends and girlfriends - none of them smoke or purchase actual cigarettes. If anything a few of them tried the electronic cigarettes but it's cheaper to fire up a bong in the morning or "dab".
  6. SeaGenieTx

    SeaGenieTx Active Member

  7. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    When I was young many of my friends smoked grass actual grass that grows on your lawn(my country was very tough on drugs) and then they acted like they where high. My point is that people are strange to put it like that they want to be high even when they do not have with what that I think that no amount of laws can stop people from being stupid.
    I do not get why they go trough so much trouble to be high or drunk or both.
  8. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    And you can do NOTHING to change him. Only he can make that decision. You have to find a way to come to terms with his life. Could he end up dead or in prison? Yes, he could. He could also turn his life around. May not be this month, this year, this decade, but its always possible. Hold onto that hope but don't dwell on it.

    As to the original idea of the post, do I think that marijuana is a gateway drug? Its a much more complex question that it appears to be. First off, it depends on the person. I smoked a bit of pot in my early 20's. Didn't see what the fuss was about so walked away. But then I don't have an addictive personality. Also consider this, the marijuana industry has taken a page from the tobacco industries book and many are spiking the marijuana with something much more addictive and that enhances the high.

    I'm actually fairly indifferent about the legalization of marijuana. I don't see a bunch of people who don't smoke now rushing out to get high just because its now legal, especially since many employers have stated that they will still drug test and fire people for marijuana use. Realistically, the only upside I see to legalizing it is that there will be some measure of control that will curb people from altering the product. As far as the whole "I wouldn't have a record if it were legal" argument goes, alcohol is legal and people get dwi's all the time.
  9. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    A lot of us have seen how marijuana affects our kids so the whole "it's harmless" argument isn't going to fly. It sucks the drive and ambition out of young people. They can't learn anything while they're on it - either in school or in life, which is why their emotional and social aging stops when they start using it and we have all these 20-40 year old teenagers. And it is addictive for those prone to addiction, and for some it does lead to meth/heroin etc. A lot of us have heard the justifications - "I know this guy who works in <whatever> and he smokes and is doing fine." Yes, but he's not you and you're not doing just fine. Not being in school, either not working or working at minimum wage jobs in between getting fired, going to jail - despite what you may think, that is not doing just fine. And no, not everyone your age is doing that - just the losers you hang around with.

    Sorry, got carried away.
  10. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    No problem. I never said that pot was harmless, just that it wasn't a gateway drug for everyone. My son has an addictive personality and I fully believe that he is hooked on it. Whether it has been the gateway to other drugs for him I don't know. I fear that is has been but without testing or him being honest, I simply wont know.

    Pot is as harmless as alcohol or cigarettes. Some people can have a drink or a smoke every once in a blue moon but most cant.
  11. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I agree pot is similar to alcohol and some people can smoke it casually and socially with no problem at all. So for those people pot is not a gateway drug... its not like anyone who ever smokes pot becomes an addict... just like everyone who drinks doesnt become an alcoholic. Same is true with cigarettes. I think for those who are prone to substance abuse both cigarettes and pot are gateway drugs.... and now so are painkillers!!!

    I have some mixed feelings about legalization of pot for this reason. In principal I think it should be legal, hoever at this point I am against legalization because then I think it will be even easier for young people to get, and to get it in other forms like edibles and I think it will create more issues for your young. My sons drug problems started when he was very young.... and I really worry about that for young people.
  12. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    I'd forgotten about the edibles. That's just a horror story waiting to happen when a parent is too stoned to worry about their teen sneaking a "snack" for school or, even worse, a toddler seeing a cookie or candy bar and eating it.
  13. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Is it easier to get for young people if it is legal in reality?

    We do not have pot culture you do, nor are we even talking about legalising. Much less pot users too. Still: Some kids start using pot because it is easier to get and cheaper than alcohol. All the teens know local dealer who will sell to anyone. Finding someone to buy them alcohol is on the other hand a challenge. Joy used to complain that. They were drug tested on their team so pot and other drugs were not option for him and he knew we would be extremely upset about him consuming smuggled high alcohol content spirits, and those were the easy and cheap options available for underagers.

    Beer, cider, mixed drinks from the shop or liquor store were expensive, risky and difficult to get, because it was difficult to find someone to buy those to them. And local drunks took double prise and stores often called police when they suspected they were dealing alcohol to kids (because they didn't believe those people would had bought certain drinks to themselves.) Joy has afterwards confessed he lost all his allowance without getting the alcohol after all. Pot would had been much easier to get.
  14. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I think pot is pretty easy to get but it is still illegal.... I think in places where it is legal all sorts of forms of it are showing up and it is incredibly easy to it is sending the message that it is totally ok to use. There are definitely issues with the edibles...