Moved in with the girlfriend

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Billiesue, Aug 5, 2017.

  1. Billiesue

    Billiesue Member

    My 18 year old son moved from his Dad's house in with his girlfriend. He is 18. She is 19. He couldn't get along with his Dad enough to work for him anymore. Apparently her Grandma has a trailer she is going to let them live in and pay lot rent. He is about an hour away. They are both working together at Mcdonalds. He is driving a car his Dad bought him. ( He has payed him for it.) For whatever reason the title was mailed to my house. It's a flood salvage car. I was hoping having to pay bills would stop his habit. He seems real happy. My stepdaughter showed me his twitter account yesterday. I don't do twitter or understand it. But he has re tweeted stuff about marijuana. So shocking to see what he says that he thinks I can't see... Clearly he hasn't stopped. So sad.
     
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    You are in my thoughts and heart. Is pot the only drug he uses?
     
  3. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Very sorry to hear, our road is similar to yours. You learn to tune them out and not pick up their drama over time, but the sadness remains. Thinking of you and all of us.
     
  4. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Billie

    My son was looking for weed within hours of leaving sober living Monday. It quickly escalated and now he's back in rehab today. UGH. It's been an ugly week for us filled with stress and worry.

    I was optimistic when you said he moved in with girlfriend because hey maybe that can work even though they are young. The weed is a worry.

    If you're an addict, ANYTHING is not good and usually leads back to disaster. At least for our son it has.

    We're pulling for him and you!
     
  5. Billiesue

    Billiesue Member

    I don't know if pot is the only drug he uses. The last time he was tested that is all that showed up. Nothing surprises me anymore. You are right culturana, the sadness remains. I miss him so much. Rarely get to see him. He is planning to take college classes starting this month. I'm not very optimistic. I don't believe in living together. I told him so. Of course he doesn't care. He just don't want anyone telling him what to do. It makes me angry this grandma is letting them live there for free and paying lot rent. But at least he won't have as much leisure money. RNO-I have been thinking and praying about your son since I read about his wreck. I'm so sorry you've had to go throuh this but glad he is back in rehab. I didn't come on here for awhile because sometimes it upsets me. But seems I can't get him off my mind this week. I think I probably need to lay off trying to see his social media. It is upsetting. Stepdaughter showed me the twitter account so tonight I got the bright idea to google his name. I came upon an ask Fm site. Apparently someone asks you random questions and you respond. It said it was over a year ago. Looks like he and another girlfriend had broken up. Some of the answers he gave were shocking. Looks like he pretty much hates life. Some little creep chimed in and told him he didn't know what that girlfriend ever saw in him. He was not good enough for her and the guys were already lining up. He has always had a low self esteem. Although I never have understood why. He is very cute. He is smart. But absolutely no self confidence. I don't know where this comes from. He did answer a question,what are your some of your favorite things to do. He says meth. And some other things. I was real upset at seeing that but reading more, I believe he was just saying that. When I used to ask what he wanted to do when he got out of school at age 16 or 17 he would say, "A chip and dale dancer, or run a met lab," and just laugh. He has never tested positive for that. It was still not what I wanted to see. This is just such a different world than what we grew up in. These computers and phones are hard on these kids. Too much talking among them.
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    More troubled adults and teens always talked this way. They just did it in person, and the parents were none the wiser. They never knew as it was not on social media. My high school bestie in the 1970s did drugs, got pregnant, ran away etc. I was nof at all like her, but I did keep my mouth shut. I also took her to drug parties and, being the only sober person there, heard it all. Remember the 70s? At least where I lived and went to school, I felt like the only kid who didnt take drugs and have sex. Watching people on LSD and Quaaludes bored me a lot. Sometimes I was disgusted. But I was loyal. I never blew any whistles.

    It was very bad. Our Summer of Love generation was horrific. We started all this.

    I lived in an upper class priveledged suburb of Chicago. Kids had money. Some stole just for the fun of it. Drugs were rampant. So were overdoses, even at school.

    I think its been like this for a long time minus the social media where parents can spy.

    Living together is so socially acceptable these days. The nicest people do it. What young adult refrains because his mother doesnt like it? Parents get divorced all the time and do it too. I lived eith hun of 22 years for two years before we married.

    There are infinite choices for young people now. We would have to jump back to the early 1960s to find a time before excessive use of pot and strict morals about not living together before marriage existed.

    Society has changed. Since when did young people do what their parents wanted?

    But our parents couldnt see what we were up to, like they can now.

    Im not sure its better, now that parents can check.

    Hang in there. It is hard. It is very hard
     
  7. Billiesue

    Billiesue Member

    Thanks SWOT. I do understand how society is. I know he has not been living saintly for a while now.But it is our belief and just i just try to teach him what the Bible says. Unfortunately at this age they think they will live forever. He hasn't even told me his address. Guess he is afraid I'll drop by. I wouldn't just drop by unannounced but would like to know where my son lives. I think I'll ask him for the address. I smoked pot as a teen one summer at the beach the year I graduated high school. A friend's boyfriend brought and I smoked it about every night that week. I never even saw it again after that. Enjoyed it at the time but not enough to seek it out. He does seem happy when I do see him. He and girlfriend went on a outing to a zoo with us. But I looked at his twitter since he has been living with her. I have to google the abbreviaions. Late July he tweets. "When people tell you you are in the prime of your life but your life is terrible. atm #:censored2: #fml. Really why. I've tried so hard all his growing up years to be a good parent. To make sure he had all he needed. I lived for my days off so I could do things with the kids. I dutifully helped with homework. If they didn't understand something or I didn't. I found someone who did. Their Dad left me on Christmas Day when he was 5. Affair.I stayed single 6 years. One of the reasons I chose my husband was that he was so good to my children. He , son,was disappointed I don't have the means to send him to a big school. ( I don't think that would be good for him anyway at this point) but he certainly can start with community college. It was the same with me. I went to the community college and have a good career. Was satisfied. Nothing seems to satisfy him. Anyway thanks for the response.
     
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    This is the pity me generation. From what I can tell when listening to teens conversations, it is not cool to be happy or satisfied with anything. This poor me attitude then gives them the justification they need to back and live marginal lives.
     
  9. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Passa you are so right. I just don't understand it.
     
  10. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Dont ever blame yourself for their addiction. My son says crap like this, and i respond, if you dont like your life change it instead of whining. Others do. Others that had really bad parents do.
     
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