Just heard from CD, who is still in Colorado, but living with a friend in exchange for doing household chores. Is in the mountains, nice place, bed, roof over his head,good food, TV IN HIS ROOM, completely comfortable surroundings. Gets taken on trips and evenings out with the friend and his dad, etc. Goes back and forth with doing well and staying clean, then gets bored and starts drinking. Prior to this, he was staying in an apartment for a couple of weeks with an older guy-I believe in exchange for sexual favours-or rather, the older guy THOUGHT he was in a relship with CD, but he was only using him for a place to stay. (CD is bisexual). This friend offered him the spare room and said "You don't have to have sex with someone just so you can have a place to live". This friend is a nice kid, but CD thinks he is lonely, but good hearted. There's nothing sexual about their relship-they are just friends. A couple of days ago I had a great call with him. Wanted to look for work, turn everything around. This morning, I get a hungover call. For the love of God, ma, take me with you back to Illinois (I've been staying in Vegas for 4 months, but am taking a road trip back to IL, the long way home, exploring a little bit of AZ, NM, etc) He had been drinking and had been discovered doing so, by his friend, who is willing to support him still. I refuse to take him, telling him there's nothing for him there. Tell him it's going to start getting cold in a couple of months. He says there's a Daybreak program out there. I say there's one in Portland-he'd expressed a strong desire to go there many times, as it's supposed to have plentiful resources for the homeless. Him: "So, you just don't want me around. You don't really give a sh*t what happens, as long as you don't have to deal with me?". Me: "I don't have the financial or emotional resources to deal with your addiction." Him: "But, YOU'RE MY MOTHER". Me:"Yes and you are almost 28". Him: "So, I'm running out of options, but you don't care. I guess this is goodbye". And hangs up on me. Now my whole day is colored in a bad way. I think the most upsetting part is that he made the effort to call purely to try and manipulate me. Like my life is not my own and I should just be around when he needs me. I've spent 10+ years trying to "fix" him. He has had INNUMERABLE opportunities to turn things around, but the only thing he is implying will save him is ME. So I just need some tools to be able to shelve this conversation into the "Mind Effing" section. He thinks so LITTLE of me that he would actually attempt this guilt trip. I can't let it ruin my day or my month or anything-I have lived SO much for him and his shenanigans that I don't even know who I am anymore and am trying to discover that. Instead of getting MAD, I'm just sad. This kid put me in the ICU for 5 days. Why am I not getting mad?