My bestest friend had a stroke last night...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by KTMom91, Mar 24, 2011.

  1. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    B and I have been friends since the seventh grade, and even though her difficult child life (some her choices, some just circumstances) led us along different paths, we always stayed in contact. I saw her on Tuesday afternoon, and she looked awful...she was so weak she could barely walk, her legs and feet were horribly swollen, her eyes were bugging out even more than usual (she has a thyroid condition, and has refused for about five years to have treatment), and she said she was exhausted.

    Her son came by this afternoon to tell me B was in the hospital, and it was like talking to a little boy, over the thought of losing his mother. Hubby and I went over, and B is basically unconscious, her right side is paralyzed, can't talk or swallow, and the nurses had to move the IV because she kept pulling on it. She can make a moaning noise, but we don't know if she's in pain or trying to communicate. Her daughter in law said they did an MRI this morning, but they didn't have the results yet.

    I know that it's quite possible she can recover, but I'm not sure if she really wants to. Her husband, the love of her life, passed away about ten years ago. Her entire life was built around him and their family, and even though she's remarried, I don't know if that's enough to motivate her.

    I'm just very sad tonight. Planning to go back to the hospital in the morning and see if they have any more answers.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Im so sorry Mary. So very sorry. Remember though to talk to her just as if she can hear every word you say because I am convinced she can. Remind all her family of that too. Remember my experience and Jamie had a friend who was so ill they almost pulled the plug and he has pretty much recovered and he also remembers lots of what was said when he was in the coma. So talk to her! And dont tell her she is
  3. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Oh I'm so sorry. That is really sad. But you know, these days one hears amazing stories of recoveries from strokes. I hope she does gradually begin to recover. What a good friend you are to be so supportive.

    Love, Esther
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    So sorry to hear about this. Hopes she decides she has the motivation to recover.
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Lots of hugs to you, and her and her family as well, sweetie.
  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    That's so sad...I'm really sorry that she's going through this...Janet's right - keep talking, it makes a world of difference.

    I've got you all in my prayers!

  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, no, Mary, I am so sorry!
    That is so sad--not only your potentially permanent loss, but your assessment that she has no will to live. My heart is breaking for you.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending caring thoughts your way. Hugs. DDD
  9. KT Mom,

    I am sending you and your friend gentle hugs. I work in the rehabilitation field, and I can tell you that many, many people make amazing recoveries. It's just so hard to tell how things will go in the first few days; and the body's healing powers are simply incredible. Keep your hope alive.

  10. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Oh, Mary, I am so sorry. Sending prayers and hugs.
  11. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I'm sorry i'm so late to this. How very sad, wishing her a speedy recovery and hoping she wants it. hang in there its' gotta be hard.

  12. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Mary, I am so sorry ... HUGS AND PRAYERS
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I'm so sorry for your friend, and I think you are right about her not wanting to fight. Maybe now would be a good time to get together with her son and dig up some things that she's wanted to do and make your bucket list with her? Remind her of good things to come and not let anyone dwell on her past. Give her a real reason to get going forward.

    Sending hugs and prayers in both your directions. If anyone can motivate her honey? It's you! AND hubby!

    Hugs & Love
  14. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Spent about three hours at the hospital this morning with her while her hubby tried to sleep on a narrow window seat. She's really restless. but we don't know if it's because she's in pain or irritated at the number of tubes. RN came in to discuss a feeding tube, the nurses are turning her every two hours, and the speech therapist came in to see if she could swallow. Nope.

    She opened her eyes, I called her name, and she looked right at me and smiled. When I left, she grabbed my arm and held on. I hope I was able to give her some comfort just by being there.
  16. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your friend. I hope she makes a full recovery ((hugs))
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you were able to see her and she was able to see you. I hope they can give her some thyroid medications in addition to feeding her with-an IV. You never know ... she may just have worn herself down so much it looks worse. Is she in intensive care? If not, it's better than you think.
    And the MRI results will help a lot.
    Many hugs.
    P.S. I was thinking they may give her antidepressants, too, but then thyroid conditions can mimic depression so maybe once the hospital gets those medications going, she will perk up.
    I'm sending strength for all of you.