My heart is breaking - UPDATE

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Ally, Jul 27, 2007.

  1. Ally

    Ally New Member

    difficult child is still on the run. My friend in FSJ has given me information which I have passed on to the police and the probation officer. Nothing has happened. I got another email from her (my friend) last night saying that she had talked to her son (who is also a difficult child) and he told her that my difficult child had been kicked out of a bank a few days ago for sleeping on the floor and has headed off to Alberta by herself. I havent heard from difficult child in a month.

    She is so vulnerable. How could my friend (who is just a parent) get information on my daughter and the police couldnt/wouldnt/didnt find her??? It frustrates me to no end. I am so scared for my difficult child. If in fact she has actually taken off to Alberta, that something really bad is going to happen. Im almost at the point where Im going to be contacting the media and asking them if they an put something on the air about her and if anyone knows of her whereabouts.

    Im trying so hard to detach, I really am, but its SO hard.

  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{{Ally}}} I'm sorry - I hope she will be okay.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    It's horribly frustrating when you can "find" her, and the ones who are supposed to be experts at it can't. But you wouldn't know where she was if it weren't for this friend of hers. Keep passing along the info as quickly as you get it. Hopefully they can catch up with her before she gets into big trouble.

    Sending up prayers.

  4. peace and joy

    peace and joy New Member

    oh man! i know what you are feeling!

    my difficult child son is out sleeping in cars or whatever else he can find. there is at least one warrant out on him. it really stinks!!!!

    i will pray for us all! the serenity prayer has been helping me stay sane!


    p.s. i have an excellent therapist and she told me our words are powerful. although my heart is breaking, i refrain from using those words, it just reinforces negative vibes. try to stay positive.
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Ally, I am sending you a big bear hug. You can do this.

  6. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I would be tempted to go to the media as well. or at least hang posters of her around. be prepared though for negative attention as well if you go that route.
  7. Skylark Matrix

    Skylark Matrix New Member

    I feel for you too. My daughter ran wild in Alberta for 8 months last year. so many times I cried myself to sleep...... no address, no phone. I don't know how she survived, but somehow she did and after much praying of many people she did come home. That hasne't been easy either, but at least I know where she is at night. I wish I could make it all better for you. Pray for strength, keep on going for your children at home.
  8. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    Reading your post makes my heart heavy for your pain. Oh, I remember feeling so frantic when my difficult child ran away and was away from home. Even when she hadn't run away but was away in foster care or at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), it was so hard for me. Yes, our difficult child's especially the girls are so very vulnerable. As mothers we are beside ourselves with grief and worry and you know what really stinks? Your difficult child is probably having the time of her life! Rest your weary heart and soul, I hope your daughter shows up and you find some peace!
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Boy, at 16 she is still very young. I know that with my two kids I was much more worried about L than M. The girls are so much more vulnerable to predators. Not to say that boys aren't, but for the girls it's just plain scary. For M, I was more worried about his acting out violently or at least in a way that was against the law.

    I hope she will be safe.
  10. peace and joy

    peace and joy New Member


    You mentioned contacting the media. How about filing a missing person report?

    I don't balme you for being scared. I hope you here from her soon!

  11. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    here they do not go looking for your kids even with a warrant out there. no one is searching. I had to do legwork myself when ant was missing, then I told the cops where he was and they picked him up.
    continue to network with her contacts if you can. tell the media.
  12. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I so understand your fears. When my daughter was on the road I went through a thousand deaths. I was lucky, she is home, she is safe. When she was gone, she was anything but safe -- the carny where her life was threatened, a night or two literally living on the streets and ending up in one of the worst towns there is for gang-related shootings and death. She came out of that experience with some good stories, some real fears and an appreciation of what home was like. May yours end up with the same results.

    Warm hugs and caring thoughts.
  13. catwoman

    catwoman New Member

    My son ran away when he was 16 and was missing for a week. The police did very little. They don't treat a runaway the same as a "missing" child. One detective expressed surprise that I would even want him back after what he had been putting me through. I tried contacting the media and once they heard he was a runaway they weren't interested. (This was when I was living in NJ. Maybe other states handle it differently.) I got the most info from kids he went to school with who knew I was going out of my mind and wanted to help. Also, the people at The Center for Missing and Exploited Children were a godsend. They hooked me up with several excellent support groups (this one included) and gave me a way of leaving messages for my son in places that runaways frequent. You can reach them at 1-800-TheLost.
  14. Ally

    Ally New Member

    Thanks guys...

    I just got an email from her saying that she is in Alberta (god only knows what part, but Im guessing the northern part) with her "new" boyfriend (probably the 7th one in the last 2 months) and some friends and that she is safe and working. Great. The warrant doesnt carry over to that province. Now what?? I still dont know where she is and as far as I know, working could be standing on a street corner or selling drugs.

    Thanks for all the advice. There is a missing persons report filed on her but because the police in FSJ kept hearing that she was around they werent actively looking for her. I think that they think that she is just some delinquent kid with awful parents that is wasting their time.

    If I hadnt heard from her I was going to contact the Center for Missing and Exploited Children. I was actually just sitting down to look for hte # for Childfind (canadian) when her email popped up.

    Ill keep you posted.... I hope that one day this ends.
  15. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Well at least she is communicating....sorry for the pain you are going thru, sending strength your way.....
  16. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    So glad you heard from her.

    Sending strength and prayers,
  17. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    Glad you heard from your difficult child and that she feels safe. Seeing as though she sent you an email, you can email her back - correct? I would work on keeping the lines of communication open with her, at least you'll know that she is alive and what is happening in her life. Maybe she'll slip and let you know where she is?
  18. Ally

    Ally New Member

    Well, I tracked the IP address that the email came from and its not Alberta. She is still in FSJ. I called the place that the IP address came up for and they supply internet service and said that if the police came there they would give them the residential address for where the email originated. Pretty good huh?? Its not going to happen today but hopefully tomorrow.