My teeth chattered I was so angry - rant

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Star*, Aug 22, 2008.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911

    On Dudes 18th birthday - he was supposed to go out to eat and I was TOLD by fosters they were taking him out to eat. Okay so I did our little thing on Sunday day before the big day thinking they had already reserved the time with him on his birthday. I felt cheated, because if he goes to prison 15 years this will be our last birthday together - but that's the way of it.

    They did not (more and more typical) and he went out with friends whom the foster mom told me were NOT going to be allowed at their house and if I was smart I'd do the same. So I told Dude in no uncertain terms these boys were not allowed back to our house THAT day. All three thieves. All three "eyeing" the landscape, DF saw this and cut the dogs loose. All three - will never attempt to crawl through the window in our home. ;)

    So on the way home - he finds a dog. Not just any dog, a monstrous, yet kind pit bull. He's black and white and looks as though he may have been in a few scrapes but not skinny; yet a bad coat. Dude is "keeping" him until he can "find" him a home. And he PUT the dog in the fosters house, in their tub (fleas galore) and then over to the dead neighbor ladies back porch (she died last Tues) - and slept with the dog there all night.

    He calls me Tues - asking for my help. I had an inspirational book (dont' laugh) for him and said I'd be out and see the dog....DF "warned" me that he is NOW 18 and I need to not help in this case - (reminds me of Pootie) who is Dudes dog. I agree - no help. You're on your own as it should be.

    Foster Dad calls me and says yesterday that Dude is CROSSING the line bringing the pit bull near the day care children and his other dogs and sneaking him into HIS home. OMG!! Can I help/talk to him etc....and I said NO, he's 18 he needs to figure this out. Okay so why is Foster dad mad at me? Dude told him I was taking the dog to MY house and haven't come to get him. OMG urge to spit. I told him that was a lie - and that I already have one of his dogs here - Pootie. (honestly don't care I love her)

    Dude gets on the phone and is near tears (great acting) and says PLEASE MOMMA HELP ME I DON'T WANT HIM TO DIE and I have until tomorrow or he goes to the shelter. They will kill before I'm out of the parking lot. SO I call in a few favors and when I mean - favors - I mean getting BUMPED to the top of the ASPCA list for a neuter and shots - TOMORROW!!!! when the waiting list is at least 4 weeks....and FREE!!! Shots are $33.00. Then to a Kennel for a FREE stay with another rescue lady until yet another rescue lady I know can get him transported to Chicago to a pit rescue. I did it!!!! i was SO proud.....ALL THEY (DUDE AND FOSTER DAD) had to do was to GET THE DOG to the ASPCA by 8:15 AM and pay 1/2 the shots - I offered to pay for part to save the dogs life. THAT WAS IT.....I went back on my word to myself to not help him - but felt it was for a noble cause.

    And so when I got this ALL worked out - after finding out that MY hysterectomy is a go and call the foster dad. And do i get "OH GOSH THAT IS GREAT?" NO = I get, a whiney - well I don't know if I can get him there......OMG I have to come get the dog TOO?? HONESTLY you people are TOO MUCH. So he puts Dude on the phone.....and I tell Dude that the dog WILL NOT BE KILLED, that I pulled some strings and he'll get his shots, be neutered, and then........(HE WILL BE WHAT? OH NO NO NO NOT MY DOG) and I said HEY wait a minute - it was OKAY for Pootie but NOT for this stray??

    and then .........the words that may have just sealed this young mans fate.......with his mother.....for a LONG time.....

    WELL momma I didn't want to have Pootie spayed either, but since YOU have her - you said she was going to be spayed and see I wanted a litter of puppies out of here to sell at the flea market because she would have had pretty puppies and I could have used the money.......

    are you ready to be shocked and awed......?

    For my probation.

    OMG I WAS LIVID..........and the next thing that came out of my mouth was not pretty - and I said

    "You know what Dude as long as ANYONE buy YOUR LAZY HINEY is DOING the work to PAY for your crimes YOU are okay with it - and Pimping your puppy OUT???? OMG - I have to go - you are unreal child....UNREAL, I don't believe what I just heard.....I have to go, good luck with your other dog." GOOD BYE

    and I hung up.


    and now DF says Pootie WILL NEVER go back to Dude. NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER - because if she can't make him money - he won't take care of her.

    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I have been angry in my day at Dude but THIS reached NEW levels of STUPIDITY-----WHAT A DUMB kid is.

    and now he's telling EVERYONE that he can't CAN NOT get a job because he's a felon - so he may as well not even try. Another excuse to do NOTHING to help yourself.

    And that letter I was going to write for his PD? NADA.......

    MY SON BECAME PERMANENTLY ON HIS OWN after that comment about our precious baby.....what a total Moron.....and all the times he's helped in the animal shelters apparently taught him NOTHING about disposable animals there either.

    And want to bet the reason he won't neuter this BOY dog is becaue he thinks it's a STUD??? $$$$$$ NOT - nice dog but NOT an improvement of the breed.

    My son aspires to be little more than a backyard breeder - (TABU in our anti-puppy mill home) argh. NEW heights of selfishness and scheming and scamming have been reached and I fear this kid will forever be nothing else....

    Gosh do I call him and say "Your Father fears you will never be anything but an institutional man?" I cried about () long when he said it but it stuck like flapjacks and molasses.

    Thanks for listening
  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Oh Star.

    I have no idea what to say.
    Giant HUGS to you, and a soft pillow on which to rest your weary head. (And to cushion the blow from banging it against the wall)

  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Sounds like time for tequila shots, Star. There's nothing you can do. I don't even know that you should grieve because this is not outside the realms of Dudedom. I know it was a shocker because he seemed so sincere. You thought he loved Pootie as much as you do, but he's still a boy in a man's world. It's like our good cousins who had 12 kids and kept going because there was more food stamps and aid for that, and the church encouraged it.

    I'm sorry for your broken heart. I know it hurts. Time to buck up and walk away for a while. Who is bringing the lime and salt?
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh. MY. Unfreakingbelievable. Pimpin puppies out for probation money.. that takes the cake ... lol.. I'm sorry I have to laugh! Maybe you should buy him a nice purple velvet hat...
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member


  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    sorry Star. Sometimes the absoulutely stupid choices they make just floor me!! And my knees are getting to bad to keep getting up or the floor. So, I try really hard to just say, yeah honey, that sounds like a plan!!!
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911

  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am so sorry he thought to put Pootie through that!!! I bet that this is why he was so all fired up to find her - HOW ELSE WAS HE GONNA GET PO $$$?

    I am sorry you didn't get your 18th birthday dinner with-him. Glad that the thieves won't be around.

    I wish Dude had more sense than to tell you that. If he did, maybe he wouldn't be in so much trouble with the law.

    Glad you are going to focus on YOU and DF and give Dude time to GROW UP.

    Geez, wanting to pimp out Pootie!!! And for probation $$ - after ALL you and df have paid toward his fines???

    Hugs to you and df and your furbabies
  9. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Okay, I'm the odd man out again. Yes, it is a harebrained idea but give him some credit. His goal wasn't to sell them as fighting dogs but because they'd be CUTE! It would be far better if someone took him to the vet's office and let him find out the costs of having a litter of pups than yelling at him. People sell pups at flea markets because they don't have their papers, which means they get less $$ for them. As to the new dog, someone should clue him in that stud fees are the sale price of one pup minus his share of vet fees -- it frequently is a negative value.

    I do understand his logic. For reasons of my own (i.e., the stalker), I don't dare let someone do a background check. It almost puts me in the same category as a felon except that I have a letter from a DA explaining the risks involved and verifying I am a decent human beng. After looking for six months, I gave up on getting a job although I am well qualified and have very good skills. I started my own business. The difference between the Dude and I is that I thought my plans out carefully -- what I could and could not do, the costs, etc. I'm an adult. He is not. I have skills. He does not. He is impulsive and doesn't think things through.

    I do understand your anger but I don't think he saw it as pimping his baby out (and considering how upset he was when she was missing, it is his baby). He did see it as a way to make some money, which is more than some kids would have done. Not the best idea, but at least something.

    He needs someone to show him why things are a bad idea. Push for barber school some more. He would have a real chance for a future that way.

    Right now, I blame the foster parents more than anyone. They're not doing their job. They're housing Dude but they're not guiding him in the least. Given they know you do have and want a relationship with your son, there is absolutely no excuse for them even mentioning a birthday dinner to you. They should have been asking your plans and then working around them. They should have been talking to Dude about the dog, not yelling at him or at you. They need to be helping him find a job or a career path. They haven't had him long, but certainly long enough to know where he needs help and doing their best to help him as much as they can. They haven't.
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    OMG, Star! I realize that I'm "preaching to the choir" here and I'm trying my darndest not to go on another rant, but ...

    Selling Pit Bull puppies at a flea market????? Lovely! How noble! What is he thinking??? Next time you see him, please shake him till his teeth rattle and tell him it's from that "crazy dog lady" in Tennessee!

    Tell him that "backyard breeding" and selling any kind of puppies at a flea market is horrible and irresponsible, but especially pit bulls!!!! He may think he'd just be selling cute puppies that would be loved and well cared for as family pets, but he would know absolutely nothing about the people buying those puppies and what their intentions for that puppy might be! And it's just as irresponsible to buy a puppy at a flea market! Especially a pit bull! You would know absolutely nothing about that dogs genetic background, health or temperment. Well bred, well trained pit bulls can be lovely family pets in responsible hands. But way too many of them end up as fighting dogs or victims to any of the other horrible things that people do to dogs!

    I hope you can get through to him - I'm so glad little Pootie won't be turned into a "puppy factory". If Dude wants to see what can happen to pit bulls in the wrong hands, have him Google "Michael Vick"!
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2008
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Wow. The whole selling them at the flea market gave me chills. I have to close my eyes and count to a thousand to keep from adopting everyone of those puppies just so I can adopt them out to a good loving home. (maybe someday when I'm rolling in cash)


    To me this was more childish behavior than anything. We see it as pimping, but I think Dude just saw it as a fast easy way to make money. I seriously doubt he thought it thru from start to finish. I think the $$$ signs got in his way. (cuz I think deep down Dude has his Mamma's heart for animals)


    Snuggle and love on Pootie. And don't give Dude visitation rights.

  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Are Dude and Cory long lost brothers? Honestly...I swear their behaviors are so eerily We have gone through the wanting to breed pits too. Maybe its a locale thing. Everyone around here does it. And trust me...we all know where these pups end up.
  13. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Cute or not, it's just the way a weenie would think. I'm sorry...and I would be happy to bring the salt and lime if you're up for it.
  14. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    So sorry. As I sit and shake my head I know that difficult child 1 would probably think in the same kind of terms given the opportunity.

    I did buy my dog from a flea market. (the one in my avatar) Not all people who buy there are bad but dang if I didn't want to sweep all of them home with me so some of the other folks that were looking couldn't have them.

  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Wow. That's all. Just wow.

    My Buddy was a shelter dog, our cats are either "pound or found", even the rat was given to Miss KT. No backyard breeders here.

    What a dumb thing to say. Wow. He obviously didn't think this through.
  16. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    I smell dog napping in your future, Star. Buy me a plane ticket and I'll help.

  17. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    For those who don't know ... (Look out! I'm gonna be preaching again!) ... besides the obvious potential for abuse with pit bulls or other dogs that are used for fighting, there are numerous reasons not to be buying a dog from a "backyard breeder", especially at a flea market. You know absolutely NOTHING about that dogs genetic background, health conditions or temperment other than what they tell you. They may have diseases that you could be bringing home to your other pets. The puppy's parents may carry the predisposition to genetic problems that the breed has. Or the puppy's parents may be spending their entire life in a miserable filthy little wire cage and their feet have never even touched the ground!

    You may get lucky - who knows! But if that "bargain" German Shepherd you bought at the flea market is prone to genetic hip problems and you end up spending thousands in vet bills, he wasn't much of a bargain, was he? Using Bostons as an example, since I know the most about them, there are many genetic issues they are prone to that you DO NOT want to pass along to future generations! Certain types of deafness can be a problem and it is hereditary. A predisposition to juvenile cataracts can be passed along and your "bargain puppy" might be completely blind at a very early age. And they are very prone to luxating patellas, an extremely painful and potentially crippling condition of the knees - surgery costs approx. $2,000 - per leg! A reputable breeder carefully researches the history of their breeding dogs and wouldn't even consider breeding a dog with any of these conditions in their background. A backyard breeder, puppy mill, or anyone wanting to make a quick buck from breeding their own pet dog would! And the result is a miserable dog and a disappointed owner who has to make the choice of paying huge vet bills or putting the dog down.

    Of course, not everyone can afford to spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars buying a puppy from a top-of-the-line breeder. The answer is RESCUE! There are rescue organizations for just about every breed imaginable. The dogs medical issues have been tended to, they have been spayed or neutered, and their shots are up to date. Or check with your local animal shelter. Or look on There's thousands of dogs and puppies in Rescue or in the animal shelters looking for a good home and a family to love them. Adding a dog to your family should never be something you do on impulse. Research the breeds to find out which is best for your family situation. Find a reputable source, check and double check, and then check again before you buy.

    OK ... off my soapbox now. Just think about it, OK?
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2008
  18. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Yea..........he is young, desperate and immature. I cannot imagine too much altruism at this point from a kiddo like our difficult children.

    HUGS. I feel your pain.
  19. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Puppy Mills SVCK!!!
    Dumb kids making dumb decisions with a poor defenseless Pup. I hope he thinks long and hard about this before doing any more damage.
    You Momma are a great person!
  20. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Hey Star! I am so sorry you have to go through that craziness. It doesnt make sense why they resort to anything to make money. I feel sorry for the puppies if that had happened. You did a good job of taking care of it. Pat yourself on the back.