Name something your mom:) use to say
- Thread starter Nomad
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AppleCori
Well-Known Member
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
My mom never told me to be nice.
A few recurring comments were;
You're stupid.
You're selfish. (absolute lie)
You're lazy.
You only think of yourself. (Again I was not perfect but was genorous and caring of others. I truly think she was projecting herself on to me.)
You're fat. (I weighed 95 lbs. No wonder Sis got an eating disorder.)
Boys like girls with long hair.
You're lucky you have a nice nose because it's all you can see with that hair all over your face!
Jewish boys make superior husband's. You are not allowed to date gentiles." (I didn't listen to this. She demeaned non Jewish boys to me in offensive ways that I won't post. Suffice to say she couldn't talk me into it. Every time I dated a boy who she suspected was not Jewish, even if he was, she would scream at me half the night and sometimes beyond. It wasn't pretty.
It goes down from there. Not all mother's gave kind, wise, loving advice. Mine sure didn't.
A few recurring comments were;
You're stupid.
You're selfish. (absolute lie)
You're lazy.
You only think of yourself. (Again I was not perfect but was genorous and caring of others. I truly think she was projecting herself on to me.)
You're fat. (I weighed 95 lbs. No wonder Sis got an eating disorder.)
Boys like girls with long hair.
You're lucky you have a nice nose because it's all you can see with that hair all over your face!
Jewish boys make superior husband's. You are not allowed to date gentiles." (I didn't listen to this. She demeaned non Jewish boys to me in offensive ways that I won't post. Suffice to say she couldn't talk me into it. Every time I dated a boy who she suspected was not Jewish, even if he was, she would scream at me half the night and sometimes beyond. It wasn't pretty.
It goes down from there. Not all mother's gave kind, wise, loving advice. Mine sure didn't.
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AppleCori
Well-Known Member
Threads go sideways, more often than not. Especially if I am involved in them.
Lil
Well-Known Member
I'm sure we all really just thought that the old sayings would be fun. I'm sorry if this thread is hurtful to you.
SWOT, that's just so sad. I'm so glad you never listened to her and that you became your own awesome self.
Sooo sad.
I recall when my mom died at age 49 I was devastated. She was my best friend. It’s been decades and embarrassingly, I can still tear up talking about it. A sweet person who made me feel good about myself.
However, I did begin to notice that many of my friends had a VERY DIFFERENT relationship with their moms. Bad stuff.
I didn’t escape though. My dad was the mean one. Of course, he lived much much longer into old age.
The only thing he said regularly that was sort of wise (yet has a negative tone about it) was “a fool and his money are soon parted.”
I recall when my mom died at age 49 I was devastated. She was my best friend. It’s been decades and embarrassingly, I can still tear up talking about it. A sweet person who made me feel good about myself.
However, I did begin to notice that many of my friends had a VERY DIFFERENT relationship with their moms. Bad stuff.
I didn’t escape though. My dad was the mean one. Of course, he lived much much longer into old age.
The only thing he said regularly that was sort of wise (yet has a negative tone about it) was “a fool and his money are soon parted.”
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Thanks, Tanya. I believed her about some things she said, but never ever that I was selfish and was done listening to her insults by my 30s.
But this thread was interesting to me because I couldn't think of anything positive she said or any helpful words to teach me life coping skills. I had few as a young adult
But this thread was interesting to me because I couldn't think of anything positive she said or any helpful words to teach me life coping skills. I had few as a young adult
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Lil, I am way past being hurt by it. I kind of am amused. I don't care what she said anymore.
But some people don't have nice mom's. Nomad said her mom was her best friend. No joke, and without pity, my mom was probably my worse enemy. I can only imagine what she said about me that I DIDNT hear! At any rate, I expected nothing from her, not even love, and learned to live well without her.
But some people don't have nice mom's. Nomad said her mom was her best friend. No joke, and without pity, my mom was probably my worse enemy. I can only imagine what she said about me that I DIDNT hear!
At any rate, I expected nothing from her, not even love, and learned to live well without her.
My dad was very bad. I don’t discuss it. The very few people I have shared with tend to go shell shocked. However, I sometimes wonder if having a mean mom is somehow a little worse? Hard to say and probably depends on multiple factors. But moms just seem soooo vital to our wellbeing. (((Hugs)))
Hopefully, there are some more good, kind, pleasant or funny words of wisdom yet to be shared.
Hopefully, there are some more good, kind, pleasant or funny words of wisdom yet to be shared.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
My dad was no prince either lol. But he loved me and didn't treat me any worse than the others. My mom was far worse to me than my brother and sister, but it made me take good care of myself regarding friends and family of choice and to pull away from the dysfunction of FOO.
I don't think anything tops having a great husband. And that I have! I am the only one in my family of origin who has a long term loving marriage. The only one. I think that makes me the luckiest of all between him and my kids. I am very close to my kids and hear from most almost every day and Jumper chooses to hang with us every weekend she is off. Not everyone has that close a relationship with a grown child. I feel very blessed to be surrounded by so much love.
I don't think anything tops having a great husband. And that I have! I am the only one in my family of origin who has a long term loving marriage. The only one. I think that makes me the luckiest of all between him and my kids. I am very close to my kids and hear from most almost every day and Jumper chooses to hang with us every weekend she is off. Not everyone has that close a relationship with a grown child. I feel very blessed to be surrounded by so much love.
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BusynMember
Well-Known Member
My father always said "It is what it is."
I use this all the time. Think it's simple and great.
I use this all the time. Think it's simple and great.
Sam3
Active Member
English was not my mom’s first language, but she occasionally shared surprising wisdoms.
She said to me once “Regret, is the poison of life.” That has really stuck with me.
But another time, my mom told me my dad was at the hospital getting an “autopsy,” when she meant a “biopsy” (of a mole).
And when I drove her to the airport to visit my aunt, I asked why her carry-on was so heavy, and she told me she was carrying “pot.” (It was a vase she made in ceramics for my aunt). She also had a ziplock baggie of Cremora in there. I guess my aunt uses real cream and it makes the coffee cold, and my mom thought the Cremora jar would have made the carry-on even heavier.
You can’t make this stuff up.
She said to me once “Regret, is the poison of life.” That has really stuck with me.
But another time, my mom told me my dad was at the hospital getting an “autopsy,” when she meant a “biopsy” (of a mole).
And when I drove her to the airport to visit my aunt, I asked why her carry-on was so heavy, and she told me she was carrying “pot.” (It was a vase she made in ceramics for my aunt). She also had a ziplock baggie of Cremora in there. I guess my aunt uses real cream and it makes the coffee cold, and my mom thought the Cremora jar would have made the carry-on even heavier.
You can’t make this stuff up.
Pink Elephant
Well-Known Member
ROFLMAO! The "autopsy" for "biopsy" is a hoot!
Littleboylost
Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
My mother always said Tiger like Taaager ....no clue why she is a 5th generation Canadian. We have stores here called Giant Tiger and they will always be Taaager for me.
