This if for all you experienced parents of teens. My difficult child (16) has ADHD and ODD. Currently is not on medications, he will not take them due to side effects and we were never sold on them. Peer group is very negative, has very low self esteem, grades are not good, school work is major struggle, serious behavior problems in school, quit all sports, very defiant, goes out every weekend with friends, therapist #4 diagnosed him with ODD, #5 told him not to return unless he wants help. Smokes tabacco in secret. No arrests, randomly tested negative for drugs (5 most common) for past 2 years, 6 months ago began testing him for alcohol which was detected 4x. Has held first job for the past 4 months now. Attends school everyday. Up until 14 was doing well enough behavior wise except for common ADHD issues which we treated with medications, discipline, structure, routine, etc. Did very well academically and in sports. At 14 negative changes began. Grades dropping, angry music selection, sneaking out at night, major change in appearance, bad choice of friends, angry all the time broke things at home, defiance, breaking rules, etc. Neuropsycho. test confirmed ADHD, but no other disfunction. Shortly thereafter was diagnosed with depression and treated with medications for several months. There is no relationship/ communication between H and difficult child unless something goes wrong and then all hell breaks loose. They used to be very close. H believes he will grow out of this or needs to hit rock bottom to change. I pressure H to educate himself about ADHD and ODD and help me with behaviour modification/ parenting techniques, but he won't. I worry difficult child might escalate to having CD. I also worry about easy child and how this is affecting him. He is sweet and loving. I have considered sending difficult child to a wilderness program and then boarding school to get him help, but H won't. We have a lot of arguments over this and idle threats to difficult child. Am I too emotional and over reacting about my difficult child? Is H right, do we need to let him get arrested, get kicked out or fail out of school before he makes the choice to change?