need help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by brownsugar22, Feb 17, 2010.

  1. brownsugar22

    brownsugar22 New Member

    Hi, I am the adopted mother of 2 boys aged 12 and 10. My 12 year old has bipolar and adhd. He is fighting and not during well in school. He walk through the house as if he is the boss and you better not say anything to him. He has been hospitalized several times for behavior issues. He burned the dog with hot water, his reason was he wanted to see what the dog would do. The second time, he hit me. I love this child and have fought for this child since he has been in my home. He has been with me since he was two I have had him into a boot camp program as his behavior was and still is out of control. I have been advised by my doctor that I have a serious heart problem. I know that things in my home cannot continue like they are. I am looking for residential housing for him. I am a single parent age 58. I am so unsure as to what I should do, please help.
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hello and welcome!

    Is your son in the boot camp program right now? or if not, how long ago was that?

    Is he being treated by a doctor? Is he on any medications? What are docs recommending for him?
  3. brownsugar22

    brownsugar22 New Member

    My son is currently on 15 mg. of Adderall and 15 mg. of Abiify' He is in therapy and see his doctor once a month. He has been in therapy for at least 5 years, and sees his therpist once a week. The boot camp was for 3 months on Saturdays for 5 hours. I have had a therpist tell me that he has no remorse for his actions. He will act as if he is the sweetest child you ever met, but if you ever spent a length of time with him, you would find out that he is not the child that you met earlier. He has taken money out of my purse and taken money from the sitter. He will steal from the stores. I have to watch him very closely when I am shopping, to make sure that he has not put anything into his pockets. He finds things such as a play station2 (hand held) . A cell phone ear piece and money all on the front lawn.
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi Brownsugar and welcome! Glad you found us.

    First and foremost, please know that none of us are doctors or experts. ;) We're parents who are traveling a similar road as you and we bring a wide variety of opinions and experiences. We also bring our biases based on our own experiences - so take what info you can use and don't worry about the rest. :)

    The first thing that really leapt out at me was the medications that your son is on. Just based on life with- my bipolar son, I'm wondering why he isn't on a mood stabilizer. Abilify is usually used as an add-on medication. Stimulants can be a very iffy proposition in bipolar kids, sometimes actually promoting manic behaviors (and "manic" in my kid was always extreme irritability that led to violence, not an elevated mood). Has he ever been on a mood stabilizer (Tegretol, Depakote, Lithium)?

    How is his mood? It is pretty much the same or does he go up and down? If it does change, how often (minute to minute, hourly, daily, or longer)?

    Does he have an IEP in school? You say he's having problems there - is it mainly behavioral or does he have academic problems too? I know, sometimes it's hard to separate the 2. ;) Has the school done formal testing to rule out learning disabilities? Do you know much about his birth family, in terms of history of mental illness and possible exposure to drugs/alcohol prenatally?

    Have you talked to his psychiatrist and therapist about residential placement? Is it something they're recommending? If not, what are they recommending? Are community-based supports available to you - respite, mentoring, wrap-around services?

    Sorry, I know, a lot of questions. It helps to know what you've tried and what resources are available, both in the school and community. As far as finding residential placements, the resources I'd start with are psychiatrist and therapist, as well as your state dept of mental health. A person who was extremely helpful to us was my son's therapist at the hospital where he was admitted on a regular basis. She was aware of funding sources and had excellent insight into which programs might be a fit for our son and which ones we wanted to stay away from.

    Again, welcome and I'm so glad you found us!