Need some ideas....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TeDo, Jun 2, 2012.

  1. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I have no idea where to start so ask questions if this makes no sense. difficult child 2 has always had brief periods where he was soooo focused on what he was doing/watching that he appeared deaf. It was never a huge issue because it wasn't all that often and I knew what the reason was and I accommodated for it.

    Lately, difficult child 2 is "deaf" 90% of the time. If he's in another room, he claims he doesn't hear me ask/tell him something. If he's watching tv, he says he doesn't hear me ask/tell him something. When I'm sitting next to him and there is NO other noise, half the time he says he doesn't hear me or he hears me wrong. But none of those situations happen 100% of the time and it seems to be worse with ME. He can hear my sister from 3 rooms away consistently without any issues whatsoever. Now, keep in mind, both my kids have always said I have such a loud voice. I asked difficult child 2 why he's gone deaf all of a sudden and he said he doesn't know. He just knows that if he's not expecting me to say anything, he doesn't hear me when I do.

    Does anyone know what might be going on all of a sudden? This seems to have started about 2-3 months ago. It wasn't something that got worse over time. That and he's always MAKING noises. It's almost like he doesn't like it quiet anymore. I just don't get it.
  2. keista

    keista New Member

    My friend once had a bout of tinnitus and the dr told her her hearing was fine except for a specific range of tones. Problem was, that was the range of tones her third grade students spoke in. That explained the big confusions she was having in class.

    Apparently there are also "teenage ringtones" available that teenagers hear but adults (most anyway) do not hear.

    So, it's possible that he's not hearing your tones any more. This can be checked out.

    He can also be tired of listening to you and is just tuning you out - not necessarily on purpose. Just that he got so adept at tuning you out during video games and TV shows, that now he's automatically tuning you out all the time.

    The only solution is to always make sure he sees you want to say something to him before you say anything.
  3. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I would have him check by an audiologist, just in case. At least it will be ruled out. Those appointments are usually easy enough to schedule.
    If nothing is wrong with his hearing, I would suggest touching him before talking to him. I often have to do it with V. If he is in the same room, it saves a lot of energy on my end. If he is in the other room, maybe use a signal like ring a bell or something. But of course he has to agree to it. Or walk to him (I know very annoying... I'm in the same boat as you are with V and yet I still find my self yelling across room because I'm busy and hope he will hear/understand).
  4. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    I would follow up and make sure not a physical problem with his hearing like tone deaf just to tone of your voice, like the other mom suggested.

    My son use to hyper focus on tv or video games so I needed him to make eye contact while I told him something then repeat back to me whatever instruction I gave him; might try that it helped here though son was slightly annoyed at first -I think it was because the "didn't hear me excuse" didn't work anymore, and when he tried the "I forgot" I made him start writing it down (he hated writing more then chores)

    The girls it's willful selective deafness whisper "want a cookie?" from 2 rooms away they hear that, but right in front of them trying to get them to do something? nothing - didn't hear me GRRRRR
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Because I know what it is like to have a hearing problem... that would be my first guess, and I'd suggest jumping on it. The person with hearing loss doesn't necessarily know that they have a problem, or that it is so severe. "We" know what we DO get... and that part comes through fine, but "we" are not aware of what we are missing.

    While you're at it, get him screened for all forms of Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) too.
    Plus, schedule his appointment for late afteroon (trust me...).
    General brain fatigue can build up to the point where it's hard for the brain to focus on hearing.
    If late-afternoon testing shows a problem but they can't find a cause, THEN re-test in the morning.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I know one thing, Tony is deaf in one ear from damage in a cotton mill - or that is what he has told me for the entire time we have been together. He also completely tones me out half the time. I can say things from across the room and he wont hear me. Heck he wont hear me if I am sitting right next to me if he is watching tv.