I would almost be inclined to speak to your parents, if you believe there is even one percent chance that they might listen.Part of the struggle in our guts is knowing Difficult Child will likely inherit $300,000 (or near that) from my mom while our offspring will most likely inherit around $30,000 from husband and me.
The damage that will be done is just too great.
She is damaging your son, mightily, who will have no chance what so ever with that kind of money, to finally become a good person and man.
She is hurting your children, your others, who would truly benefit from 100k each. They could pay off their mortgages or send their kids to college. Or be a little bit safer when they are old.
I mean, the cruelty is making my head spin. The irresponsibility of it.
Of course, her aim must be to hurt you--but really, how much more can she hurt you--except by hurting your kids--which she is willing to do.
By talking to her and your dad, you will not get her to change, but you will have said your piece. You cannot protect your children against her, but you would have spoken up for them and for yourselves.
And I, for one, would like to hear from her, what she is after. Probably it is only to tell you how wrong and bad you are. As a daughter, a mother. What a piece of work. On second thought, better not to talk to her. Because she will only use the opportunity to try to hurt you.
But if you know that going in....
If your father was stronger, I might suggest that he remedy to some extent what your mother has done by leaving *your part, to your other two kids. She would never allow this. But you could say it. Again, by saying what is right, we have some control. Not over outcome but morally we have taken a stand.
The word evil comes to mind, but of course, ill, might be apt. I wonder, though. I am sorry Seeking.
As far as cutting your son out, (I think you have 3 kids total. Is that right?) If you cut son out, how much more would the other kids get? I mean, would it be worth it?
The thing is, your moral legacy is worth way more.
Could you not help the other kids out while you live, to their benefit, not their brother's?
I do not want your son to have the ability to say one more thing about you and your husband.
This is like something in a Faulkner novel....Do you live in the deep south? (a joke.)