good morning. I'm glad I found this site because we are at the end of our ropes right now. I need help and don't know where to go. I'm hoping that someone might recognize this situation and have any advice. I am a step-parent to a 13 y/o (difficult child 1). His father's life revolves around having to feed this child constant attention. Meanwhile, his 11 y/o easy child, while she does not get neglected, she definintely loses out on time with dad. Then I have my own 8 y/o (difficult child 2). We've been a combined family for 4.5 years. The issues that we are having with difficult child 1 are: constant lying about every thing no matter how big or small - warrior mom/dad: "did you brush your teeth?" difficult child 1: "yes" warrior mom/dad: "so why is are your teeth yellow, your breath smells bad and your toothbrush dry? Did you brush your teeth?" gftg1: "no" won't do school work - we have constant contact with his teachers, and although he knows this, he continues to lie about schoolwork and refuses to do it or if done, he won't turn it in. always disrespectful - to all women (that lightbulb just went on!) I thought it was to everyone who is not his dad, but it's just to women. As well as his teachers. anti-social - he will not go outside and play with kids...or if he does go play, he plays with kids much younger than himself. ADHD - he was diagnosed and put on concerta, but it does not help him only causes him to not eat and lose tons of weight. husband does not want him on concerta anymore, but his doctor won't seem to listen to us. - his only interest is video games - he has no remorse for his behavior until he gets in trouble - he only thinks about the here & now and what HE wants, not consequences. - he will not complete anything he starts - he "collects" things: anything that catches his attention...so much so that I once had to make him stop crawling around on the school floor pulling staples out of the carpet...I later found a whole pocket full of staples in the laundry room. - last year, he carved his name into our neighbor's curing concrete, then said it wasn't him. A few weeks later, he threw a rock through someone's window, ran away and said it wasn't him...until a witness came out and pointed him out. Last week, husband found a fairly large knife in his pocket that he's been taking to school. We don't know where the knife came from, do I have to mention that he lied about it when we asked. - disciplinary actions don't work. restrictions, spankings (by husband), postivie reinforcement, rewards, taking his things away...nothing has had even the slightest affect on him. - disorganization, sloppiness, won't do chores, won't do anything to help the family, argues with difficult child 2 all the time, argues with me about everything, blames everyone else for his actions/problems/etc - manipulates stories/situations/people to try to get the results he wants. - addicted to candy/sugar I just don't know where to stop...and after all of this...he acts like there's nothing wrong. He acts like he does not understand why anyone is mad at him. But he knows what he's doing is wrong when he does it (he admits it) but he still chooses to do what's wrong. husband told him yesterday that he's sending him to live with his mother husband's DEX...but that is definitely NOT what will be best for him. She works at night in a seedy, sleezy bar; she does drugs; when the kids were there for the summer, she couldn't even feed them; she doesn't have a car, she is EXACTLY like her son in all her actions. (A very short history of her: she abandoned both her children and my husband in order to chase a lifestyle of partying and no responsibilities...and blames me for "taking her life" after the divorce, and when her partying spree was over) I'm sorry for such a long post but we're really stuck. We've tried therapy, medication, intervention, all the techniques we can think of...what else can we do? there's got to be something that can get through to this child?????