I'm in a bit of a strange situation and I honestly don't know what I should do. My nephew (18) is living with me and I am considering kicking him out - again. He has family issues - Dad disinterested and only paid him a passing interest up until when he was about 6 (hasn't seen or heard from him since) - Mom has since married and had another child a lot younger than him (and in my opinion he's got issues with that too and he and his Mom's relationship is strained, in part because of his actions and in part - I think - due to other issues). He has been in trouble with drugs and has exhibited behavioral problems (anger, easily frustrated, has generally not taken account for his own actions until he's in a real bind, etc) to the point that at 16 he was sent to a residential treatment program for a year in another state (and has nothing but good things to say about the place for the most part for anyone wondering about those places) where he graduated from high school and worked on his test scores/repeating classes to the point he was accepted into a 4-year state University in a program he was (is?) really excited about. He came back from school and moved in with his Mom in a new town (she had moved during the time he was out of state) to start school and things went okay, but not for long - he was back on drugs (MJ is all that I know of) and got himself in a big fight, was beaten up, and started staying with me after that because his Mom was away a lot and felt like he didn't have anyone to see what was going on with him. At that time he said he thought it was a "turning point" for him and that he was going to stop hanging around with the people he was, and was going to get working on school. (Tears in his eyes, the whole nine yards, and he really believed it at that moment). That lasted about 2 months before he was arrested for possession with intent to distribute (MJ again) and spent 2 days in jail. Again, he got out, and immediately texted everyone in his phone to leave him alone and that he wasn't into "that stuff" anymore, returned to attending NA meetings, and things went okay for awhile. His Mom took his car away, and within a few weeks he went from being really focused on school and wanted to try to salvage his semester to being irritated that I was telling him "no" to things he wanted and was telling him other things I wanted him to do. Fast forward a few weeks later and in an argument in the car where he basically told me he didn't have to listen to me I said "you're right - but you have to get out of my car" and I left him right there on the side of the road. (I HATED doing that but it was ridiculous - some other things happened that lead up to that moment). He was officially "homeless" for about 6 weeks, with only the clothes on his back that he was wearing when he left the car. He did stop by his Mom's house a few times and get some clothes and managed to get a job during that time but he approached her when a living situation he had went awry and wanted to return to her house and indicated he was regretting throwing his opportunity to go to college away. Things went pretty well for a few weeks, but his work is in the neighborhood of all his buddies he has been in trouble with and he is still inclined to hang out with them because they are the only people he knows in this town. Needless to say the two of them have some personal tensions between them and it wasn't long before he came to stay with me again. I told him when he came back here "tentatively" that the following had to occur in order for him to stay here: 1) I require honesty (bad or good, I'd require the truth), 2) he needed to stay off drugs, and 3) he needed to really want to go back to school. If any of those things weren't working for him he had the option of leaving and going out on his own - I wasn't going to try to stop him. So, this time around things have been better. Better in that he is definitely more responsible for his actions, he "checks in" with me just to let me know if he's not going to be home when I'm off work (that rarely happened before), he has continued to work and is doing very well there, and he asks permission to do things (even though I have told him I don't want to give permission for things - I want him to think about what he's doing and give himself permission to do what's right and deny himself the things that are wrong). However, he continues to associate with the same people, and I feel like it's only a matter of time before things head in the wrong direction. He "brags" to people about using drugs, and he still very much associates with that lifestyle, even if he isn't using (I'm not saying that he isn't , but as a former pretty big user myself, I'm pretty good at telling when he is or has been). He has stayed out late a few nights, increasingly closer together as of the last few weeks (he's been here for about 6 weeks now), and although he does not appear to have been using when he returns, he seems to expect that someone will pay for his next semester of college even though aside from meeting with his advisor one time, he hasn't done much of anything to prepare and just wants to go hang out with his troublesome friends (he has admitted that those friends are still using drugs and that one of them was selling as well). So, basically I see things slipping and I'd rather not go down the full-blown meltdown we had last time, but I don't want to cut him off from the chance to go to school because I do believe he is genuine about it - at least right now...I just don't know how long it will last. It's a tough balancing act - when you are giving someone a second chance (of which I was given several before I got it right myself) and when you are just enabling them. He and I have discussed this at length and he is very sincere about wanting to go to school again but ultimately I don't trust him. I'll stop - I'm rambling and I'm not even sure if I'm asking for advice, or just someone to listen. Thanks!