I have had increasing problems with my difficult child 1 since she first came to live with us. She has had a psychiatric, therapist, and multiple hospitalizations for behaviors for years. At one point due to behaviors at home that were so bad, she even was placed in foster treatment care facility. I so do wish I could say that any of this has helped us. We have been in family therapy along with her, but it does not seem to help. I am getting so worn out mentally, emotionally, and physically, I can barely function most days.
difficult child 1 is a child who does not seem to show any kind of remorse for her actions, seems very self-absorbed, and continues behaviors no matter what the consequence would be. I have had so much jewelry, money, sentimental items (pics of deceased daughter), taken from me and destroyed/lost/given away, that I have most everything locked up. I have made police reports due to stolen property but nothing can be done for they do not prosecute because she took from family. Police have even lectured her and all she could do was say "whatever". difficult child 1 is very wise to this, and has learned over the couse of years to say and act to get what she needs from people. I have even has CPS investigate alegations placed by her 3 times. All have been unfounded and dismissed as her seeking attention/revenge. difficult child 1 threatens students/difficult child 2/me and has(past) hidden a knife under her mattress. I have tried reasoning, rewards for good behavior, removal of privileges, point system, confined to room, and yet it seems to have no effect. difficult child 1 does what she wants, when she wants, and takes what she wants. No apology, only anger when caught, then retaliation. difficult child 1 general affect is flat. The only emotion we see that is not forced is anger. difficult child 1 is on medications, Seroquel/Wellbutrin XL. Her latest activity is obsession with a boy(man) at school who is 18. difficult child 1 skips classes, has been suspended, night school, peer intervention, all to no avail. difficult child 1 states she has done nothing wrong and we (collectively) are making up stories to get back at her. difficult child 1 has expressed that she wants to have a baby and move on her own by next year. I am pursuing placement again because it seems the only time she can comply with rules is if she has no other choice, ie: constant one-one monitoring 24/7. Which is why first placement deemed her "cured" 2 years ago and sent her home. And the lying is constant. Really, I think difficult child 1 has told so many stories that it is impossible for difficult child 1 to know the truth anymore. And not just about things that would "normally" get difficult child 1 in trouble, but about silly mundane things. Color of hair, socks, things eaten.
I love difficult child!, but so often anymore, I feel constantly on edge. During the day when phone rings, I cringe when I see school number show up. Nights are worse, for if I fall asleep, difficult child 1 has been known to take things or retaliate against us for things we "did" to her.I hate this feeling of conflict inside me. The other children and I have been hurt so many times by her actions towards us, that it is hard sometimes to feel relaxed with her. How horrible does that make me? Not wanting to be around my own daughter? UGH! I am to the point where I resent all the weekly appts. that must be kept for this. I don't see an improvement and my home life is hell. difficult child 2 even reacts differently when she is not at home.
Is there any hope?
difficult child 1 is a child who does not seem to show any kind of remorse for her actions, seems very self-absorbed, and continues behaviors no matter what the consequence would be. I have had so much jewelry, money, sentimental items (pics of deceased daughter), taken from me and destroyed/lost/given away, that I have most everything locked up. I have made police reports due to stolen property but nothing can be done for they do not prosecute because she took from family. Police have even lectured her and all she could do was say "whatever". difficult child 1 is very wise to this, and has learned over the couse of years to say and act to get what she needs from people. I have even has CPS investigate alegations placed by her 3 times. All have been unfounded and dismissed as her seeking attention/revenge. difficult child 1 threatens students/difficult child 2/me and has(past) hidden a knife under her mattress. I have tried reasoning, rewards for good behavior, removal of privileges, point system, confined to room, and yet it seems to have no effect. difficult child 1 does what she wants, when she wants, and takes what she wants. No apology, only anger when caught, then retaliation. difficult child 1 general affect is flat. The only emotion we see that is not forced is anger. difficult child 1 is on medications, Seroquel/Wellbutrin XL. Her latest activity is obsession with a boy(man) at school who is 18. difficult child 1 skips classes, has been suspended, night school, peer intervention, all to no avail. difficult child 1 states she has done nothing wrong and we (collectively) are making up stories to get back at her. difficult child 1 has expressed that she wants to have a baby and move on her own by next year. I am pursuing placement again because it seems the only time she can comply with rules is if she has no other choice, ie: constant one-one monitoring 24/7. Which is why first placement deemed her "cured" 2 years ago and sent her home. And the lying is constant. Really, I think difficult child 1 has told so many stories that it is impossible for difficult child 1 to know the truth anymore. And not just about things that would "normally" get difficult child 1 in trouble, but about silly mundane things. Color of hair, socks, things eaten.
I love difficult child!, but so often anymore, I feel constantly on edge. During the day when phone rings, I cringe when I see school number show up. Nights are worse, for if I fall asleep, difficult child 1 has been known to take things or retaliate against us for things we "did" to her.I hate this feeling of conflict inside me. The other children and I have been hurt so many times by her actions towards us, that it is hard sometimes to feel relaxed with her. How horrible does that make me? Not wanting to be around my own daughter? UGH! I am to the point where I resent all the weekly appts. that must be kept for this. I don't see an improvement and my home life is hell. difficult child 2 even reacts differently when she is not at home.
Is there any hope?