New here

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by AnnMarieTN, Jan 3, 2009.

  1. AnnMarieTN

    AnnMarieTN New Member

    I am new to this site and wanted to post a brief introduction.

    My teenage son was just diagnosed with Conduct Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder - Recurrent/Moderate type with agitated features.

    We have been struggling for several months not really knowing what we are dealing with. Last month, he assaulted a close family member and spent 6 days at the juvenile detention facility. He has a hearing in February.

    I am glad to find a group that understands what I'm going through. He hasn't started any type of therapy or medication yet. I am calling on Monday to start the process.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi AnnMarie and welcome to the site! Sorry you had to find your way here, but glad you did. There is tons of support and lots of advice to be had here.

    Was your son diagnosis'd after the assault? Had he ever been diagnosis previously with anything? Any family history of mental or emotional issues? Anything you felt in your gut was going on prior to this? What kind of doctor diagnosis'd your son?

    A diagnosis of conduct disorder is a pretty major deal. It's a diagnosis that is usually reserved for older teens who have carried a long history of behavioral and social problems.

    You are in the right place AnnMarie. A number of members on the board have teenage sons who have had severe behavior issues and run ins with the law. The weekends tend to be a little slow around here, but be patient.......

  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi AnnMarie,
    welcome. Here's a cup of tea.

    I am so sorry about your son. What was he like as a baby?

    It sounds like you've never done any therapy, ever. Is that right? Or is it just for the new diagnosis?

    I hope you get a good therapist. Don't be afraid to shop around. If it isn't the right fit, believe me, there are lots of therapists out there. No need to be even more frustrated than you are.

    I like to bring a notebook and take notes. Sometimes we talk about so much, my eyeballs feel like they're rolling around in my head!

    I hope that your son is receptive to therapy. Sometimes it takes a few visits just to get to know one another. It's very hard to resist the fix-it-all-right-now-in-one-session idea. :)
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there.
    It does sound like he's late to therapy. Tell us what he was like, more about him. You may want to do a signature like I did below. I have some questions that can help us help you.

    1/Who diagnosed him? Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist?

    2/Are there any psychiatric disorders on either side of his genetics tree? Substance abuse? Does he live with both bio. parents? Ever suffer from any abuse? Is he a substance abuser? Was he like this before he abused drugs, if he does?

    3/How was he as a baby? Did he cuddle, make eye contact, speak on time and appropriately? Did he play with toys the right way? Did he socialize NORMALLY with his same-age peers? How did he do academically?

    Welcome to the board!
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Welcome aboard. Glad you found us.........sorry you need to.

    Reading your post, the first thing that popped in my head is WHO gave him the CD diagnosis. Ususally there is a long long history of issues before that diagnosis. is given.

    We're here to support you but some of the CD family :D (like me, for are rather direct in asking questions. Try to remember that the intention is positive. We all do care. Hugs. DDD
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Just popping into add my welcome! You have found a very supportive place to be!
  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    All of the questions have been asked, so just wanted to add another welcome.
  8. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Hi AnnMarie i'm just jumping in as well to welcome you :)
  9. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    hi and welcome!
  10. AnnMarieTN

    AnnMarieTN New Member

    Thank you for the kind welcome. I will try to answer your questions and give a little background info too. I really appreciate the support.

    He had a stroke when he was born. He was "colicky" when he was a baby, but was sweet and loved to cuddle. He did really well in school until the 4th grade. His grades and behavior have been downhill ever since.

    In 5th grade, I had him tested independently of the school system. They said that he had sensory integration issues, visual & auditory processing problems.

    In 6th grade, the school system tested him and said he had ADHD. He was put on Adderall. It did nothing for his grades, but helped a little with his moods. In 7th grade, the school evaluated him again and said he didn't have ADHD. His physician took him off of the Adderall. Nothing really new until this school year.

    His behavior and aggresion has gotten more and more severe over the past 6 months or so. He has always been mouthy and at first I just thought it was "being a teenager" but things just kept getting worse. He has punched holes in the wall when he has gotten mad, thrown things, etc. Afterwards, he apologizes, but the behavior continues.

    He went to a few visits to a family therapist in November and he suggested ODD. I had started researching that.

    Last month, he punched me in the face and kicked my Mom. A week later, he assaulted my Mom again. I called the police and he went to the detention facility. It was there that they ordered a psychiatric evaluation which stated the CD and depression.

    His hearing is scheduled for the first part of February.

    I'll have to answer the questions later.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    This is my opinion based on my own experiences. First of all, sadly, school districts are dismal diagnosticians and therapists aren't the best either. I would use a neuropsychologist. His stroke may have effected him neurologically. Has he had updated neurological evaluations? That's way different than a neuropsychologist evaluation. If it were my child, I'd do both. And fast. And I wouldn't put much stock in the CD diagnosis. I think state and school run diagnostics are just not very good or accurate. They don't hire the best and brightest and, well, ya get what ya pay for.

    That aside, a sudden change in behavior in a teen is a HUGE red flag for drug use (and not just pot because pot doesn't cause violence). ADHD medications are highly abused by teens. My daughter used them. She used to crush them in a pillcrusher and snort them with her friends--usually adding cocaine or something else, but they are potent alone. My sweet daughter was violent to herself when she took drugs. I would look into it. (((Hugs)))
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2009
  12. AnnMarieTN

    AnnMarieTN New Member

    I didn't have time to answer questions before...

    LittleDudesMom - His father has never been diagnosed with anything, but I'm thinking there might be something there. We divorced when my son was about 5 years old.

    Midwest Mom - We have not seen a neuropsychologist. He is scheduled for an MRI this Thursday and an EEG on the 22nd. He did very well academically until around 4th-5th grade.

    I don't mind the questions at all. I appreciate the support and being able to talk to people who can understand what I'm going through.

    I don't think he is doing drugs. He tested negative at the detention facility.

    I have suspected for at least a couple of years that there was something going on with him. It just all seems to have escalated within the past 6 months.
  13. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    It sounds like if the major issue developed in the past few months, drugs may be at the root. When they test in a detention facility they test for major drugs---marijuana, opiates, etc. They don't test for inhalants and other in house drugs. I'm glad they are doing the MRI and EEG. Hopefully they will be able to tell you something. Know that he is safe where he is and you and your mother are safe now.
  14. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    I have to agree about the school's diagnosis's too. They really don't do full work ups on kids. But even if they did, I'd still get a second opinion! I'm sorry you and your mom were hurt. Did he show any remorse afterward? how is his behavior at school?
  15. AnnMarieTN

    AnnMarieTN New Member

    That's part of my problem right now. He has been out of the detention facility since the week before Christmas. He stayed with is father, who lives about an hour away that week and is supposed to be staying with him on the weekends. He is at home during the week.

    My Mom lives next door and I have a 3 year old daughter. I cannot leave him here alone since my Mom is next door. There just no telling what simple thing will set him off.

    My only contact through the courts is the person who will end of being his probation officer. I'm thinking about calling and talking with the assistant DA to see what options I have. I love my son and I want him to get the help he needs, but I also need to consider my daughter's safety too.