My hubby and I took emergency custody of his 2 out-of-state grandsons in 2006, when their bio parents went to prison. Both parents were (and still are) drug addicts, and the children were prenatally exposed. The children were 31 months and 7 months old when we took them in. We later legally adopted them. The older child was obviously autistic, and we knew that soon after they came to live with us. He also has a seizure disorder and a growth disorder. He is now 14, with the mind and body of a 7 year old. He is a very sweet, compassionate, obedient child who obsesses over Legos and the Weather Channel. The younger child began having severe meltdowns in kindergarten, when his teacher would give him instructions. He became aggressive and destructive, and extremely defiant at home and school. From age 7 to age 10, he was hospitalized 4 times, had individual counseling, family counseling, Intensive In-Home therapy, Day Treatment School, and multiple medications. Nothing helped. His autistic brother has always been his #1 trigger. Sibling rivalry that escalates quickly to violence. When he was 10, I signed the paper to send him to a Level 5 PRTF. It was a lockdown facility 4 hours from home. He was officially diagnosed with Aspergers, ADHD, ODD, Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) and Mood Disorder not otherwise specified. He hated the facility, but the strict rules and structure was exactly what he needed. He "graduated" to a Level 3 group home, where he stayed nearly a year. It was long enough to learn how to steal, curse and talk like a gangster. In August he "graduated" to a Level 2 Therapeudic Foster Home, where he was suspended from school several times for fighting the other kids and cursing the teachers. He was sent to an alternative school for 2 weeks last month. Throughout this all, I was bringing him home for weekend visits as he earned them. Our weekend visits were stressful, since the brothers could not be left together unsupervised. The younger child is VERY inappropriate and seems determined to corrupt his autistic brother. He sneaked our WIFI password off the router and hooked his tablet up to the internet, then was caught showing his brother a pornographic video. I was furious, and refused to bring him home for a full month. He also steals from us while home on visits. I received a call from the foster home director on Tuesday. They are sending my son home this Monday. Our state insurance has decided that he's been there long enough. He will have therapy, crisis line, etc. in place, but I was told I have no choice except to bring him home. My family is in panic mode. Our autistic son has been thriving while his brother has been gone. He no longer hides under the bed, and he is much more social with us since our home is peaceful. My bruises are long gone, and I honestly am not sure that I can hold my own against a raging 12 year old who now outweighs me. My hubby works 50-60 hours per week (our family company), so I'm the main caretaker for the children. Since our son has been out of the home, we've welcomed 2 grandsons into our family. They both live nearby, and visit regularly. Both my adult son and my adult daughter have made it very clear that they don't want the babies around my younger son, and I don't blame them at all. Our lives were pure hell before he went to the PRTF, and he hasn't improved at all. I don't think we can go through that again. I don't want to walk away, since we are the only family he knows. But I'm feeling backed into a corner, forced to choose one son over the other. What are my options?