Here's a little bit of background info.
(That's courtesy of Tyler) Tyler was born full term by c-section at 9 lbs. 15 oz - my pelvis was too small to deliver him. From the beginning I was confused at his behavior. He cried constantly but wasn't what I would consider colicy. He was just distraught all the time unless he was sleeping and nursing. We chose to use the attachment parenting style and though it was utterly exhausting we struggled through. He never really wanted to be anywhere he was - laying down, on my lap, with his dad, with other people (esp. that one!). He developed basically on a normal schedule with slight delays in motor skills. He stayed at home with me (though I do work at home so I was dividing my time between him and work) until he was 2 1/2. He started going to a church day care facility that I love.
He has very poor social skills with children. He doesn't know how to interact with them except to show off his toys and if they don't do what he says he gets frustrated and/or angry.
The anger has really only started in the past 8 or 9 months. My side of the family has a history of depression, with everyone left untreated except for me. I've been on zoloft and immipramine (anti-anxiety/sleep aid) for 11 years. Tyler started off in the 2nd grade having difficulty in class but I don't think his teacher recognized what was going on and he just got sent to the "reflection room" a good bit. In third grade (this year) he started complaining that the work was "too hard" and he would just shut down and refuse to do any work. But he is very smart and the work is not too hard for him. In fact when he went to the reflection room where it was quiet and no one was teaching him, he would sit down and very diligently do his assignments. In class he would randomly either do his work diligently or completely melt down. We saw this at home, too. He would either do his homework with limited assistance from us, or he would complain it was too hard, whine and cry and put his head down. This will last anywhere from 5-10 minutes or an hour. I think this is a symptom of depression. He has been evaluated by the school psychologist and the testing showed a high probability of depression and Aspergers. He answered yes to statements like It is hard for me to make friends, I am often sad, and I cause trouble to my family. These statements were extremely difficult to hear.
Aspie symptoms - hates it when others are singing, talking loudly or otherwise making noise that does not directly involve him. gets along better with adults that his peers, does not adapt well to changes in routine, takes an excessively long time to get used to new situations and people, doesn't like imaginative play but prefers building things or drawing extremely life-like pictures. That's all I can think of right now but I'm sure there are others. Oh, very little affection is shown. He has never hugged me or said I love you.
The meltdowns in class were so disruptive that we had an IEP meeting and he was moved to an Inclusion class where there are 2 teachers and 2 para-pros and 16 students. He did well the first couple of weeks despite the abrupt change in routine. Once he got comfortable he started with the outbursts. He will complain that something is "too hard" and will get up under his chair. He has told the teacher NO and is refusing to follow directions. They allow him time to calm down and are really good with him, but he has progressively gotten more combative with them. Yesterday he had a meltdown but got back on track and finished his first assignment, but then for the rest of the day he refused to do any work. He had to be bribed with a small toy he had brought to school (not supposed to bring toys but he had it in his pocket I guess) in order to even go to lunch. He threw his bookbag (not at anyone) and simply refused to give the teacher his agenda so she could right us a note. Then he threw himself on the floor, taking care to put his arm up to protect his head (acting deliberately).
Lately he has been saying things like This is why I hate you when we ask him to do something or punish him for doing something wrong. He has also been calling us Stupid and has been trying out curse words.
He has had an intial session with a child psycologist and the dr. has visited him at the school twice. The dr. has already mentioned that he suspects we need to try anti-depressants. The outbursts are a pretty recent thing, and yesterday the school said they would call the dr. and make him a "crisis" case to hurry up his evaluation.
I know this is way more info than you wanted for an initial intro but it is helping me to sort through it all and figure out the important stuff. It seems to me that the Aspie is an underlying cause of the depression along with my family history of depression, and the ODD (which was mentioned by the school as a real possibility) is a response to his depression and inability to cope with all that's going on. At least that's what I am thinking right now. I had never even heard of ODD until this week.
