Ok so I just need someone to talk to I know this long sorry. If you do read this and have advice I thank you in advance. Im worried about my oldest son who is 14 yrs. old. now. Im not even sure if this has any role in what is going on with- my son currently but who knows I guess the first weird thing that noticed with- him was his first day of kindergarten. He was 5 yrs. old and we had just moved to MS away from family & friends that summer. Anyway his first day of K he came home from school that day and told me his teacher had been killed, that there was blood all over the walls. It was gruesome and it bothered me at the time. I basically chalked it up to thinking maybe he saw something on TV or maybe another kid at school had told him a spooky story etc. He has never told me anything like that ever again though so I guess that was nothing.Also that same year I heard him talking in his bedroom and when no one else was in there. When I asked him who he was talking to he told me his friend ..anyway I put 2 and 2 together and decided he had an imaginary friend. I talked to friend from church and she told me not to worry her son had an imaginary friend too. Well my son quickly out grew this imaginary friend so I stooped worrying. Then a few months later the same year it was winter and I walked into the living room to find my son standing directly in front of the wall furnace and I could smell a weird smell. I ran over and grabbed him and told him to never stand close to furnace like that, well as I grabbed him I then saw that the back of his shirt had actually began to BURN he was wearing on of those fury type fleece sweaters .the shirt was not on fire but had sort of melted and there was a hole from the burn ..his back was not burned but I asked him didnt he FEEL the heat starting to burn his shirt like that? He said no .ok so then nothing more happened. Then fast forward to 6 yrs later when he was 11. We moved back to our home state and moved in with- my sister and her husband and 2 sons for a month until we found a house. One of her sons and my son is the same age.(but her son is twice my son's size - he's BIG) Ok so while living with- them my son started miss-behaving ALL the time. He started getting in trouble at school by disrupting class by getting up & talking and not doing home work. He also was misbehaving while home. Some of the things he was doing was just kid stuff but some was true defiance, like purposely doing things to get in trouble it seemed. Anyway, so we moved a month later when found our house. Well then my son started to get worse, miss-behaving more, being defiant, ran away twice ..I found him both times the police was never involved. The next 3 years leading up until now have been getting worse and worse .he keeps doing things hes not suppose to do. We are a Christian family, we go to church, live a decent lifestyle, dont drink, smoke, party. Etc. Weve raised our kids in church. Our son goes to a Christian school. Anyway, our son has ran away like I mentioned, he has stolen some of my jewelry to give to a girl, he has stolen an iPod from a class mate, we found 10 things of deodorant that he stole from class mates during gym class. I find money in his room that he says he found on the ground etc. I know hes stealing it from someone at school. I know he has stolen money from my purse too. He takes things from his dad, like cds etc. and hides them. He stays in trouble at school. Constantly has to stay after school for detention. Never does his homework, makes bad grades. He lies ALL the time. I mean ALL the time!!!!!! Ill see him do something or hear him say something and hell stand there and cry & say I dont know what Im talking about he never said or did that etc. I can never, ever get the truth out of him! He goes to his room and cries and yells and sometimes throws stuff but never really gets violent hes never hit me or tried to hurt his little brother or sister .he just mouths, yells and cries, stomps, etc Well, a little over a year ago my son and my sisters son (who we lived with)were spending the night with- their grandmother (my mom) later that night my mom called and told me that she found my son & the cousin in her room with- their pants down. She said they were all watching TV & the cousin got up & a few minutes later called my son to come there. My son got up and went and they were gone for several minutes so mom went to see what they were doing and found them. She said my son was against the wall and the cousin was up on him .to her it looked like the cousin was the instigator he called my son into the room and my son was between him and the wall. Well I went to get my son of course, that night at home he told me it was his cousin forcing him etc. but the cousin told his mom it was my sons idea etc. they both blamed each other. Well my sister and I talked and we both decided maybe it wasnt nothing but kids exploring but I still kept my son away from his cousin. We kept going to the same church but I wouldnt let my son spend the night with- him, go over to his house etc. my sister was upset about that by the way. Well then a few months later a friend from church where she, myself, and my sister all goes to church together called me and said her son told her that my son told him that his cousin, had been touching him on his privates, and wanting to have oral sex etc. The boy told his mom that my sons cousin had been molesting him TOO and also another family of kids from church too but he was scared to tell his mom but when my son told him what happened to him he knew he had to tell his mom. Thats a whole other story but the short story is we stopped all contact with- my sister & her family, switched churches, etc. We told the pastor and my sister & her husband but they dont believe my son or the other boy . they say my son is a liar (they are right he lies ) and they say because he is a liar they do not believe him. Well anyway we dont have contact with- them anymore or the church because for some reason even though my son lies we believe him and the other boy. I know this is getting LONG so Ill try to quickly sum this up. A few months ago back toward the end of Oct. 07. our other (youngest) son came and told me that his older brother had showed him some dirty pictures ..long story short our oldest son had snuck our computer and downloaded some adult pictures, put them on MY jump drive and then put them on his computer in his room (his computer is for school work & has never had internet access) anyway he put the pictures on his computer, delete them off my jump drive and then showed his little brother the pictures ..when we found out he of course talked to him about why it is not right for him to looking at porn etc. and how it is not ok to then show those pictures to his 8 yr. old brother. For punishment we grounded him, took privileges away like video games etc. Then a few weeks later on the night of Nov. 13 I caught him watching an adult movie that he had ordered from an adult channel with me in the next room! (we had those channels locked but NewWave bought out Charter so they were resetting the cable boxes and apparently our parental controls got re-set) anyway so Im just feet away in the next room and walk in to see that eh had ordered an adult movie! Of course I was mad, I yelled a little and said I cant believe he doing this ya-da-ya da. I then told him to go to his room it was almost bed time anyway and I would talk to his dad and we would deal with- his tomorrow that at that moment I just wanted him to go to bed! So off he went to bed. He slammed his door mouthing etc. I told him to open his door and went to make sure he did. I opened his door and told him to keep it open and just get in the bed and go to sleep. So I go back into the kitchen and I dont know how long I was in there but it was a at least 30 minutes. I kept thinking I should go check on him .it was like a nagging feeling that I should just go check in on him so I did and when I got to his room he was hanging from his belt ..I dont want to go into all the details as that was the worst night of my life. Long story short he tried to commit suicide. I found him at the state of unconsciousness ..anyway so he ended up in a psychiatric hospital for teens and was there until Thanksgiving. While in there he told the doctors that his cousin had actually done more than fondled him but actually penetrated him. and threatened him. The doctors all believe him by the way. My son says that is not why he tried to commit suicide though. The sexual abuse came out through the counseling. He said he tried to commit suicide because he could not stop doing the bad things (lying, stealing, he even got into our neighbors mail and destroyed her mail for several days in a row, looking at porn etc.) he said he knew he was making me & his dad sad and cry and he didnt want to but eh just couldnt stop himself from doing the things he knew was wrong. Ok so the dr. diagnosed him with- impulse control disorder and said he needed counseling for the addiction to porn, sexual abuse, low self-esteem. He put him on Strattera. Ok so he started taking that medication and we got him into counseling and he seemed to be doing well until New Years Eve. From New Years Eve until Jan 9 I noticed his old ways resurfacing .well the morning of the 9th his dad found one of his straterra pills in the bottom of the toilet. Long story short after talking to him he told us he stopped taking the Starters about 2 weeks prior because it made him sick to his stomach and gave him a headache but he did not want to tell us for fear we make him go back to the hospital. Well I called his psychiatrist & the dr. that writes his prescription. The psy. Said he talked to my son about the importance of taking his medication and talking to us before stopping it again. When I called the medical dr. though she was rude and hateful telling me she could not get him in yet etc. so were looking for a new dr. In the mean time my son isnt taking his medication because he says it makes him sick. Today & tonight he did nothing but act-up, mouth, etc. ugh ..anyway thanks for listening. Does anybody have a child who has been diagnosed with impulse control disorder? Does this sound like your child? Sorry this is so long...I just wanted to give background.