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Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by daralex, Jan 1, 2008.

  1. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    I have a 13 yr old daughter who has central auditory processing disorder. Her behavior has gotten increasingly horrid over the last two years or so. I have been reading about Oppositional Defiant Disorder and she seems to have every characteristic. I am looking into behavior modification as I would like to try to stay aways from medicine unless all else fails. Any suggestions as to what has worked for others. Oh, and by the way - How do you keep yourself sane in the process. I also forgot to mention that I am currently homeschooling her so we are in each other's face all day. Thanks!!
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there.
    I have a few questions that could help us.
    1/Who diagnosed your child?
    2/How was your child's early development? Any speech delays/problems? Good eye contact? Proper interaction with peers?
    3/ODD describes almost all the kids here, however it very rarely stands alone. It is usually triggered by another, bigger disorder. Does your family have any mood disorders or substance abuse on either side of the family tree? (You may want to do a signature like I did below).
    4/Has she ever seen a neuropsychologist? Since she is becoming a teenager, I highly recommend going to one. This is an intensive evaluation, as good as one as you'll get and since she's now 13 whatever is the problem will probably get worse if you don't have a handle on it. My daughter (11) has a Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD), but this does not equal bad behavior--she's a really nice girl. My guess is more is going on than Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) and ODD, which is sort of a catch all for "defiant behavior." Had tons of experience with both my own self and my son!
    It's a holiday today so it's slow, but others will come along.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Welcome! I'm glad you found us.

    When you get a chance, please go to the "My Stuff" tab at the top of the page and create a profile similar to mine below. It helps us keep everyone on the board straight.

    If you haven't read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, I'd recommend getting your hands on a copy. It has helped many of us parent our extra-challenging children (and stay sane in the process!).

    Sorry for all the questions, but your answers will help us point you in the right direction.
    What kind of professional diagnosed your daughter's processing disorder? Is she getting any therapy or other interventions to address the problem?
    What specific behaviors are you seeing that concern you?
    What prompted you to homeschool her?
    Any speech or developmental delays?
    Any sensory issues (for example, sensitivity to clothing tags or seams, loud noises, food textures, etc)?
    Any mental health issues or substance abuse in the family tree?

    In general, ODD is not a stand-alone diagnosis but the result of an underlying condition (such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, autistic spectrum disorder). When the underlying condition is identified and treated, the ODD behaviors typically subside.

    Again, welcome.
  4. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    My daughter's biological dad died when she was 6 and my 2nd husband raped her when she was 8 - it would account for her anger and other situations. She was diagnosed at age 9 by a licensed audiologist after being seen by a host of professionals to include a psychiatrist and speach therapist. I know she is depressed. I am at my wits end. She is not a "bad" kid, she is very sneaky though and has started to experiment with drugs and drinking and nothing is more important than her social life and she will do whatever she can to see and speak to her "friends" even if it means lying, etc. I have not thought to have her tested further because she was diagnosed with Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD), but things are getting worse and more must be going on - I never thought to take her to a neuro-psch, but it sounds like it's time. Thank you so much for your input.
  5. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I think a neuropsychologist would be a good idea. Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) often doesn't walk alone.
  6. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    My daughter was diagnosed by an audiologist at age 9. She was sexually abused the year prior to that. Last year she was cutting herself, stealing lying, etc. She brougt a knife to school last year and was made to attend an "alternative school". The kids there were "rough" and she came home crying every day. I recently became unemployed and decided to pull her out of public school because no one seemed to be able to help her even with a 504 plan. She did see a therapist after the abuse (We then lived in MA) She saw someone here for a few months but after being forced to testify in her abuse case she refused to talk with her therapist and refuses to go see anyone now.

    Every word that comes out of her mouth is rude, obnoxious, and hurtful. She lied to me last night and tried to sneak out of the house to go to a party. I know she has drank beer and has experimented with pot and cigarettes. She has an answer for everything, skirts every issue and takes no responsibility for anything. We have no insurance and are flat broke (No jobs here - That's why we are moving back up north this summer)so having her see a neuropsychologist or someone along those lines may not be an option for us right now. I would appreciate ANY suggestions as I am at my wits end and am feeling like I am at the end of my rope.
  7. tammyjh

    tammyjh New Member

    So sorry to hear that your daughter has been through so much :frown:
    But, welcome to the board...its a great supportive group.
  8. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    Thank you for the big welcome - I'm so glad I found the site and at least I know I have a place to vent and seek support
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Welcome. I am glad you found us and sorry you need us. We are a pretty neat bunch here, and very supportive.

    I hesitate to suggest anything, but have you looked into attachment disorders? They are the hardest to treat, but it sounds like it may be something to investigate.

    I wish I had answers. I have prayers and hugs??


  10. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Dara, with the early loss of a parent followed by sexual abuse, your daughter is dealing with a lot. I strongly believe her actions are a loud cry for help.

    I'm not familiar with this, but aren't there state programs that provide insurance for children whose parents can't obtain it through their jobs? With insurance, you would at least be able to start getting your daughter the help she needs and deserves.

    Hugs to you.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Is there a local menatl health agency that will provide services on a sliding scale, if not free? You might try calling a crisis center and asking them where you could take her under these circumstances (for treatment- ooutpatient, not inpatient). Surely, it's understandable that she needs help.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    sexual abuse victims can also suffer post traumatic stress disorder
  13. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    She has so much going on - I just want to "fix" her - I feel so sorry for everything she is dealing with. I am looking into medical insurance today through the state, but she absolutely refuses to see or speak with anyone. I am looking into behavior modification and natural supplements - Has anyone heard of using omega-3 oil for ODD????
  14. mom23gsfg

    mom23gsfg New Member

    my daughter was like that at first,but i made her go. it took a couple of times and a couple of different counselors before she found one that she trusted and "clicked" with before she would open up.
    sometimes thats what it takes ...just finding one that she trusts and is willing to talk to.
    dont give took qiute a few before we found the "trusted one".