bluebell
Well-Known Member
Hello! I've lurked here from time to time as things have been bad for my son since he turned 13 (17 next month). Things have now crossed the boundary and now my husband is in trouble. My son has been in counseling, but never diagnosed with ODD, I don't know if he just charms the pants off these people or what but he's like a completely different person in therapy. Long story short, my son dropped out of high school in April and has been doing an online high school program that we are paying for. He asked for this and agreed to rules of the house (you know the obvious ones). He was constantly in trouble at school in the middle school years and freshman year, when he went back this past year he didn't get in trouble per say but just decided not to do the work. In April, he had only 4 credits to his name, he should have had 16. Well, it's always been something with him and this summer he has developed friendships with people that want to use our backyard pool area as a place to smoke pot and drink alcohol. We live in a suburban neighborhood, not the middle of nowhere, it is extremely risky behavior for him with previous SA charges. There were over 100 people in our back yard last weekend, and we had only turned to watch a movie with our daughter for 45 minutes. We broke that up and placed him on restrictions. These restrictions he did not like. My husband has. at times of weakness, resorted to physical intimidation (getting in his face) to subdue our son's outbursts. My son has always backed down. Not anymore. difficult child has started fighting back and I warned them both that I would call the cops. Well, I did and they were both arrested Tuesday night on domestic battery. Neither were hurt in the scuffle. So difficult child went back to juvie for the night. My husband plead guilty after a night in city jail and is facing fines and a year of probation. I am not justifying the violence, but I am having a bit of a pity party. My husband is unemployed and so I will have to pay for all of this, and of course I have to miss work for the next round of juvenile hearings. But the huge thing is that my family is falling apart. I love this kid but all I can think about is the peace that I am legally entitled to in 13 months when he turns 18. I am so tired, it has been a long four years. I want to take my easy child and leave on a plane and never come back at this moment. I know everything I'm supposed to be and will do, right now I'm just having a pity party and need a soft place to land. If anyone can give me any advice or encouragement, I need it now! I hope someday I can help someone else.... tears...
I'd be thinking of telling him that once he turnes eighteen if he doesn't agree to psychiatric help and substance abuse counseling that he may find himself trudging down the street with a backpack and some clothes. Call the cops if you see any drugs in your home even if they are stashed under his mattress. Check his room. Check Facebook. Check his cell. He has no privacy rights if he is breaking the law and self-destructing...you need to know the truth.
