Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by iueled09, Feb 6, 2010.

  1. iueled09

    iueled09 New Member

    I don't know where to turn. My easy child has turned into my difficult child 2. Her older brother (difficult child 1) has ADHD and has always been my challenge. I thought once he graduated from high school it would be smooth sailing with my daughter. I WAS WRONG!!!

    Recently we have discovered that she has smoke marijuana, bought it from a dealer, lied many times, taken sexual pics of herself and sent them to boys, she also took extra medications which caused her to overdose, three times. These overdoses went undiscovered for a while, because everyone thought she was having a seizure. She was diagnosed with partial complex seizures five years ago and was on 2000 mg of Keppra XR, 1200 mg of Trileptal, and 100 mg of Vitamin B6 a day. She is now being weaned off the Keppra XR. She is also seeing a psychologist. I am soooo shocked and don't know where to turn. So glad I found this site.

    Really want to hear stories from others for guidance and to know I am not alone. I pray that this too will pass.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Well, you're not alone. This is a good place to land, but sorry you had to be here.

    My daughter started taking drugs at age 12. We had no idea. Then we thought it was just weed, but it was a lot more. She's clean now and I'm shocked at all the drugs she has told me she took, and we had no idea she was as involved as she was. My guess is, your daughter is taking more than pot too. They usually will confess to pot, but not other drugs. She is likely also drinking.

    When a child is on drugs it is really hard, if not impossible, to know if she has another diagnosis. Drugs can change a kid overnight. They are not the same person. My daughter was also very good at lying to us while looking straight into our eyes and tricking all her psychologists. We didn't have much luck with any of that. Even being on parole twice didn't stop the drugs. She had to decide to quit on her own and now she's doing well.

    I know I'm not being very helpful. Just wanted to tell you that I understand and to let you know that it can get tons better. Right now, for some support for yourself, I suggestion going to a Narc-Anon meeting. They will understand and not judge you and probably have good, common sense advice for you.
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    You are definitely not alone, although husband & I personally haven't had to deal with what you have been going through. However, we have had problems with a child we thought was a easy child and who we pretty much left to her own devices, while we were focussed on her brothers. Luckily for us she didn't smoke anything, let alone pot. But she does binge-drink and because she's not living at home, we are very limited in what we can do. I can't insist she see a psychologist, either. Or if she did see someone, that she would be open about her issues anyway.

    With your daughter, can you get her to her neurologist for a really involved and stern talking-to about exactly how important it is for her developing brain, to take the right dose of medications for her problem, at the right time. And to not take too much, too little, or the wrong stuff? I think she needs a course in basic neurology from the doctor, so she can get a better understanding of just how nasty this could get. Also, if she was using at all when she was diagnosed, does this mean she may not have a seizure complex after all?

    It could be time for her to be hospitalised to be sure she's off everything, then to be re-evaluated concerning the seizures.

    Others will be along with more specific advice.

    Welcome to the site. Sorry you need us but glad you found us.

    Oh, and I just posted on another thread, on the topic of underage girls sending naked pics of themselves to guys - the girls need to realise two things:

    1) Once you post it, it's out there permanently. Once you become a grandmother, a senator, a pillar of the community, a rock chick or a porn star, those pics WILL be found and used against you. Once you send them, they are there permanently. You may as well have the pics tattooed on your face.

    2) If you send those pics while you are under-age, you have just committed a crime in trafficking child porn. The person who received them can also be charged with trafficking in child porn. So can whoever he sends them to. And so on. And somewhere at the end of that line, WILL be some old man somewhere in a raincoat, breathing heavily. And he might even be someone who lives nearby and happen to recognise the girl in the photo. You just have no way of knowing if, or who.

    Girls - it's not romantic, it's icky.

  4. iueled09

    iueled09 New Member

    Thanks to the two of you. I was beginning to worry noone would reply. We have drug tested for other drugs, twice, and both came back clean. Thank goodness. I think one reason she chose to over take her own medications was because it wouldn't show up on a drug test.

    At this point she is monitored constantly. I have contacted all her teachers and do my best to monitor her every move. I do worry while she is at school because I cannot be there with her.

    The really wierd thing is that she has taken all of her punishment without complaining. No back talking, no attitude! I have read several posts on this site and see that this is not typical. She is absolutely not ODD. She is just very sneaky and lies. It is like she is living two lives. Even this week she was given money to put into her lunch account and told to bring back a receipt, which she did. I received info from someone that she got the receipt from another student and kept the money to buy drugs. I asked her about it and she denied it. I called the school cafeteria and sure enough, no money was deposited in her account. Ugh!!

    As for her neuro, he wants us to see someone else because he does not feels she is having non-epileptic seizures. This is her 3rd neuro. Her first one died, her second one didn't like for my husband or I to ask questions. The new one is great, but with her self medication it make it hard for him to treat her. He has talked to her about the dangers, but she doesn't agree!!! We told him he went to school for over 7 years to become an expert and that he KNOWS what he is talking about.

    Thanks for the info about sexual pics. You brought up some great points that I hadn't thought of talking to her about.

    I am grateful for your replies. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    It does sometimes take longer for people to reply over the weekends. it also depends on what time of day you post. This is often a problem for me, because of the time shift. That is probably why I saw this before a lot of other people - it's peak time for me here.

    It sounds like she's more of a handful than you've been aware of. Don't be too certain she's behaving herself, if she's apparently being good. Bringing home the receipt is a case in point - she was hoping you wouldn't check, or find out. But of course you were going to find out, because eventually the school lunch situation would become obvious.

    Maybe time to insist on her brown-bagging it.

    Good luck with the neuro. He sounds like one of the best. It is difficult to find good neurologists, so many of them are very blinkered. Maybe what your daughter is more likely to respond to, is medical imaging of "your brain on drugs" kind of thing. But then, as MWM said, she needs to be the one to take personal responsibility for this and if she's not willing to, there's not a lot you can do.

  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My daughter was not in any way ODD. She wasn't rebelling. She was trying to fit in.

    In spite of the drug test results, she could be using. Not everything shows up, and if she knows when you're going to test her, she can abstain. I'm not trying to scare you, but my daughter has told me a lot about drug use and kids are very good at hiding it.
  7. iueled09

    iueled09 New Member

    Please don't apologize for trying to scare me, I am already scared to death! I joined this site for support and information because I have not dealt with this before. I need all the info the rest of you can provide. I thank you with all my heart for sharing info.

    The two tests we made her take were random. Both times we thought she was having a severe seizure and requested drugs tests to reassure ourselves. Later we found out she had taken about 4 to 5 extra Trileptal tablets.

    Can you tell me more about your daughter? You say she was rebelling but not ODD. What were some of your experiences?
  8. iueled09

    iueled09 New Member

    Sorry, I see that you said she wasN'T rebelling.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Welcome. I am so sorry your daughter is doing this.

    When a child is on drugs it is really hard, if not impossible, to know if she has another diagnosis.


    I think you are going to have to monitor her very closely, and also figure out who her friends are.

    She may have an underlying mood disorder and is self medicating. Wish I had some good advice.