Newbie

[Gr8Gramma]

Hi to all. I am a great grandmother raising two granddaughters 10, and 13. The oldest is attending a partial hospitalization program in the hope of getting an accurate diagnosis. Since I have not found a support group in my area, I am thankful I found this forum.
I do have a question and hopefully someone has an answer. One of the forms, regarding school behaviors, asks if she displays denudiative behaviors, nowhere can I find a definition for this term. I'm starting to think this is a trick question to see if I automaticaly answer yes. Thanks for any help you can offer.

 

[Malika]

Hi Newbie. Welcome and thanks for your post. I would make a good guess myself that the word (an invented one) is related to "denude" - to take off one's clothes. So, presumably, the question is whether the child has a desire to take off clothes in inappropriate situations or settings.

 

[buddy]

Malika and I added some maybe not so helpful input on your original post, smile. feel free to check it out gr8. Will be fun getting to know you. Hope your grand daughter is doing ok.

 

[Malika]

Malika and I added some maybe not so helpful input on your original post, smile.

Well, speak for yourself, Buddy
Was there anything else you wanted to share about your granddaughter, Gr8Gramma?

 

[Gr8Gramma]

Hi Malika. Thanks for you thoughts. I walked the advocacy path with my oldest granddaughter but she is now 22 and on her own, but I never came accross this term before. Your idea certainly makes sense. Maybe a glossary should be attached to some forms.

 

[Malika]

Oh, I dislike jargon! Devised to put a barrier between the supposed expert and the layperson... a google search reveals that the only use of the term, ever, is in your original post here

 

[buddy]

Well, speak for yourself, Buddy
Was there anything else you wanted to share about your granddaughter, Gr8Gramma?

lol oops, I did really mean only my part of it....but yours was just as much of a guess...haha

 

[Gr8Gramma]

Sorry, I was posting and didn't see your messages until after mine posted. Where do I begin about my granddaugter, she has suffered several traumas throughout her thirteen years my daughter, her mother, was an addict married to an alcoholic. Needless to say that created a breeding ground for abuse, neglect and domestic violence all either directed at or witnessed by the children. The thirteen year old (I will simply call her L) was sexually abused as a toddler and again at about five. She may not have remembered the first abuse but speech was never filtered for young ears. Jumping forward... this year L turned thirteen (another alien abduction), she started her period, and Mom died suddenly during a minor surgery, all within two months. All this in a short time span must have been an emotional trigger as she seems unable to control any behaviors. The youngest child "T" is bipolar but is coping well at this point.

 

[buddy]

You are a love to take them in. so many grands take care of grandkids now. Sorry about your daughter. Very very sad. Hugs to the kids and to you.

 

[Malika]

Oh, gosh, what a heartrending story. Are you on your own with the two children? I echo the sentiment that it was wonderful of you to take them on.
by the way, more people than Buddy and me do come here, honestly

 

[Gr8Gramma]

Thanks buddy. I didn't mean to sound like a Debbie Downer but I guess I did. You are right that many grands are taking this responsibility, but there are also many who would give anything to see their grandchildren more frequently or at all, so I really am blessed.

 

[Gr8Gramma]

Malika, yes I am on my own but I feel this is a blessing in disguise since I'm not sure I could handle a much older child. Not that there aren't many men who are excellent fathers and husbands just the one I had wasn't and by now I am too set in my ways to adapt to a new one.

 

[KTMom91]

Just wanted to add my welcome. Glad you found us, but sorry you had to.

 

[Gr8Gramma]

Thank you. this seems like such a great group I'm happy to be included. Love your quote by the way what an amazing man.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Hi, Gr8Gramma,

Wanted to add my welcome - and let you know that yes, you will hear from more than Buddy and Malika...
This is one of those weeks when many are away or busy...

Sounds like your GDs are very fortunate to have you.
Definitely have your hands full with the older one - and until some of these obvious issues are seeing progress, it will be difficult to know what else may be going on. Things like attachment, and abuse, are definitely major.

{{hugs}}

 

[buddy]

LOL, you guys! She could do a lot worse than Malika and me! But IC and Malika speak the truth.... you wlll find so many kind and wonderful folks here it is almost overwhelmingly a relief. I have teared up many times just to hear someone say they are thinking of me when in a hard place. So, hang with us... start a new thread if this one gets buried after a few days...(new posts push it down the list if people click on the "new post" link. ) It is just a vacation week so less people here.

 

[InsaneCdn]

LOL, you guys! She could do a lot worse than Malika and me!

Of course, Buddy. I didn't mean it that way.

What I was meaning was... that there is a power on this board that comes from the large number of members and wide range of experience, that none of us can ever replicate in real life. And it does show up... but we do have "slow periods" around here.

 

[buddy]

Of course, Buddy. I didn't mean it that way.

What I was meaning was... that there is a power on this board that comes from the large number of members and wide range of experience, that none of us can ever replicate in real life. And it does show up... but we do have "slow periods" around here.

Just poking at you! I know, I totally agree...

 

[InsaneCdn]

Just poking at you! I know, I totally agree...

Yes, but...
Those who follow - 20 years from now - may not.
I try and keep my loose ends tied up, when I can.

 

[Gr8Gramma]

.... you wlll find so many kind and wonderful folks here it is almost overwhelmingly a relief.

Thanks again to everyone for the warm welcomes. It seems I have already found many wonderful people here and it definitely is a relief. Sometimes it is diffiult to keep in touch with friends when there is no longer common ground. Being a grandma/mom is hard to define even to yourself but hey I'm able to keep up to date on the music, the latest slang, the latest dances so second parenthood does have its advantages.