No need to respond. Just throwing myself a pity party.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Jan 2, 2012.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I just need to throw myself a little pity party. I just hate the way my life is going right now. I hate the struggle I am having with difficult child. I am tired. I threw my back out this morning and it hurts like crazy. And, I am sad. I am feeling petty and jealous of the families that do not have to deal with this. Friends that have 2 kids that are fine and happy, and they do and do things, and do not have to plan days ahead of time so that difficult child knows what is coming. Being able to get their children up to do things. Sorry. Just needed to feel bad for myself. I keep trying to act like everything is better, because my family is expecting that everything should be back to normal. But, they are far from it. My husband just separated himself from all of it, so I am left to handle all of it. And, sometimes, like now, it is just too much. Those of you that are single moms, I bow down to you. You are my heroes. Ok, tome to move on and get back to my life.
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    There, There....


    Pity, Pity, Pity...

    more (((hugs)))

    Feel better!
  3. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Thanks Daisy. Sometimes I just need to vent, and I can't really do it in real life. I will take your hugs and pity.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I hear you and we all feel that way at times. Are you doing family therapy? Maybe you can you talk to the therapist about some of this stuff She can help you get husband more involved. Men need very specific directions as to what they can do to help in situations such as this. If you are not in therapy maybe you coud try it. Raising a difficult child is very stressful and raising a depressed difficult child is even more so
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending gentle hugs your way. by the way, I'm in the same boat as you as far as the back is concerned-threw mine out this morning too.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    When you look at these families of "lovely" TTs?
    Don't put them on too high a pedistal yet.
    I've seen too many "kids" go off the rails at 20, or 30, or 40... and totally devestate the parents.

    We deal with what we have... in the present. The future may be better, if we can find a way to get there.

    But there are days... when the load is just to heavy, and the road is just too long... and there's no where to go and nobody who understands, and...
    I have those, too.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hey, hon.

    We're not heroes. We didn't exactly sign up for our "troubles" but once we had them, we HAD to deal with them. And you will get through it too and we'll help you. It does suck sometimes when another kid is doing normal kid stuff and ours can't or won't. I understand...and I care. Huggggggz!!!
  9. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Thanks everyone. It is nice to have someone in your corner when you feel like you are trapped. I am going to ask difficult child's therapist if she has any recommendations for a therapist for me. I definitely need to talk to someone about all of this. And, I need to learn what part of her behavior is typical teen and what part is difficult child. easy child never really acted like a typical teen at all, so I have no reference to go to. Plus, I need to learn to find a way to let go of some of this before it becomes all consuming. ((HUGS)) to all of you for making me feel better. by the way my back is still killing me, and difficult child is walking around imitating me. It is actually very funny.
  10. mazdamama

    mazdamama New Member

    Hey!!! Why no invite to the pity party?? Heck I have mine alot and like you I normally do not invite anyone but there are times when I see a friend or one of my church family and just say "I need a hug". In my case the boys did not ask for this...I did:twister2:since I chose to adopt my grandsons rather then see them go to foster care or a non relative adoption. I knew there would be problems along the way but was already seeing a therapist for depression resulting from my back injury.

    So I take may antidepressants and talk to my therapist and see my other docs including a psychiatrist who really understands. Last time I saw him and told him what was happening with my Daniel he added xanax to my mix of medications because he was watching as I twisted my hair into knots and was biting the inside of my lips. My therapist keeps me sane.

    Actually although it si just the boys and I these past 9 yrs that I have them I have found good resources. Our small county actually has a parent asst at the school board in the ESE dept. She will even go to the SS office with you. I also have the support of the Children's Advocacy Center here. I told them they should just give me my own key since I am there so often between David's appointment with therapist and psychologist there, staffings about both boys and they do all my faxing for me now.

    But...I do miiss having a man in my life to lean on once in awhile but at almost 59 yrs old with two special needs boys I doubt there will be one.
  11. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Im sorry about your back-physical pain just magnifies mental pain. At my first NAMI meeting everyone introduced themselfs and their difficult child by diagnosis and medication. When I said no diagnosis for me, they said as they laughed, "You will". I was mad! I now have a weird form of RA called Palandromic RA. Please take care of yourself-I think finding a therapist is good if talking helps you.

    This is hard being a mom and super hard being a difficult child mom. I get the deal about other people's "good" kids. I had a tough period where I posted a whole thread about "child envy". Boy did it get a lot of responses. We have all felt those feelings.

    Today I am so glad that my last vacation day is being spent without difficult child-she is at work. I started to feel guilty, then I grew a brain! It sounds like difficult child is trying to connect. Cute!
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs. I hear you. Sometimes it's harder dealing with the husband AND the difficult child, especially when the husband is also a difficult child.
  13. PlainJane

    PlainJane Every dog has his day....

    It was already said, but I want to say again, you are not alone. Seeing families with typical kids, leaves me feeling so alone and sad. Sad for me, sad for my difficult child, and sad for our family. Sometimes we need to feel that sadness to really accpet it and move past it, even if only for a a little while. So, when I say "move past it" I don't mean forever. Maybe for a month or week, or even a day, just so we can do what we need to do that day.
    I wish I could offer some advice but I'm new here myself. So I can only offer support. :)