I saw difficult child yesterday. She asked if I would come pick up most of her things because she was thinking about turning herself in. She kept just one small bag of clothes. She has a bench warrant for skipping court and the other day a man showed up at my door because difficult child had cashed a couple of small checks - they were each a little over a hundred dollars. He said if we or her didn't pay up, he was going to have her charged. I told him I wasn't giving him a dime and I am sorry for his troubles, but this was done by her and needs to be paid by her. He said he was going to have her prosecuted. Add it to the list... She is very unhappy with the boyfriend. He had promised to find them a place to live and hasn't. As she said, he can't even take care of himself and has promised to take care of her. He plucked her from a house where she was happy and had her own bedroom and they are now homeless. She said a year ago she would have been perfectly happy just being with him anywhere, but not anymore. They are staying at a cheap hotel for now. I told her she needs to figure out what she wants to do aside from him. Either go to rehab and tell the courts she is there, or turn herself in and face her troubles. She knows she is not getting anywhere living the way she is. She looked really, really good - actually kinda made me step back and realize she really is gorgeous. But she did admit she is still selling drugs. She claims she isn't doing them, but we all know that is not the truth. I don't believe that she is clean, even if she did look so good. It was so good to see her, though. We just sat and talked for a while. She admitted that she is so hard to get along with and made the comment of how closer husband and I got after she moved out. I was honest and told her that she did bring a lot of stress into the house. She asked what was wrong with her and what her problem was. So, she is seeing there is an issue. One step in the right direction. I felt very much detached and left still feeling detached. She is a grown woman. It is her life and her decisions to make. The only thing she asked of me was to hold her things, which I can do. She is not asking anything else of me. I love her so much and want to see her live a normal, happy life, but as I told her - she is the captain of her ship and only she can decide what to do with her life...she is not happy with it and that is the result of her choices. I can love her to pieces and still be detached. It was hard finding that balance, but I think I am getting there....slowly. On another note - husband and I left on New Year's day to drive up to Massachusetts for his grandmother's funeral services. It was the best and easiest trip we have ever done. We left at 6am and got there at midnight. I stayed awake the entire time (I normally sleep and poor husband has no company while he is driving) and husband and I enjoyed eachother's company for those few days. It was for a sad occasion, but it was really nice having that alone time for a few days. Makes me look forward to when we have a completely empty nest..