It's been a while since I've posted but not because things are going well. It's more because I'm mentally drained and haven't had the energy to post about difficult child's never ending drama. Let's see - after being discharged from the psychiatric hospital last month, he's still homeless only in a different town. Reason being is because people in the town he was in are after him and have threatened to stab him to death. Not quite clear on the reason why, but pretty sure it has to do with him hacking into people's bank accounts and stealing money. He was at the mission but got kicked out after a few nights due to noncompliance. He's banned there for a month. He refuses to work with MHA because he hates talking to people and according to him they look at him weird. Ugggh! At one point he was staying in a "tent city" but I'm fairly certain he was kicked out of there too. (I'm not sure who posted something similar recently - Echo maybe?) It amazes me that someone can get kicked out of being homeless but like any other "society" I'm sure there are rules that are expected to be followed and difficult child just doesn't do rules. So yeah - bye bye tent city. Apparently he had a cardboard box fort at one point but it's been very cold here at night so I think he's been at the train station. A friend told me that he messaged her saying he was going to Florida but when I asked him he told me no because he lost his ID. And to top it all off he's posting suicide threats on Facebook again. I just have such a hard time accepting the fact that he won't get help for himself. There are SO MANY resources out there but he simply refuses. There is always a reason or excuse as to why he didn't, can't, won't, etc. I've given up even asking him at this point because it's a waste of my time and energy. I haven't seen him since that one visit at the hospital and I don't' think I want to see him anytime soon. A close friend told me she served him lunch on Saturday when she was volunteering at the soup kitchen but that he didn't recognize her. She said he looked good and that he was with a group of friends. But that was Saturday. Now he's posting suicide threats on Facebook again and saying the darkness has returned. I've gotten to the point where I'm mentally preparing myself for the absolute worst. At this point, I'm honestly expecting that call saying that something has happened to difficult child, either by his own hand or the hand of another. The thought makes me sick to my stomach and weak in the knees but it's something I need to come to terms with because it very well may happen. I don't know - it feels like I'm spinning in circles. The whole thing makes me dizzy and sick. I'm tired. In October it will be 2 years since this whole homeless thing started. He's been mostly homeless for 2 years with no end in sight. Anyway, thanks for listing to my rambling. I really needed to get this off my chest today. I've been holding it in for way too long now. Hope everyone here is well.