klmno
Active Member
Ok tonight was interesting and made me re-think things. Unfortunately, I took difficult child to therapist appointment only to find out that it was yesterday. I apologized profusely and left a message with the receptionist that he call me. Since that was at 5:00pm, I guess he'll call on Monday.
Anyway, we got home and difficult child locked himself in my "office" so he could use the computer, which he had lost priviledges to. I know I talked to him on the way home about my researching ways to find supports and help so maybe he could stay at home, but really, I don;'t think I was antagonistic or threatening. Anyway, I pulled out my key, unlocked the office door, and difficult child was standing on the other side with a hammer in his hand, rared back ready to swing it toward my head. I crossed a line at that point.
I turned around and walked away. I said ok, that's fine and went to do something else. But mentally, I know my son needs to be someplace else for a while.
He calmed down after about 45 mins and has been nice since then. No problem. I understand his medications and his system are probably all out of whack with so many medication stuff going on. But, I can't live with 30 secs of bodily threat periodically, no matter what the reason. That doesn't mean I blame him, only that I cannot let this go on- between the inability to get to school, the inability for me to get to work, the inability for me to keep him stable and both of us protected. It just has to stop. NOW.
So I need to know- how can I get him into a placement as an emergency situation without it being a legal issue for him?
I can't make him go to a psychiatric hospital at this point. If I call 911 for police help, the police will come and talk to him and leave him here and difficult child will have to answer to the judge for another violation- been there done that. That isn't my goal. My goal is similar to if he threatened a younger sibling- they come and remove the kid who did the threatening. If the kid needs to stay away a while, they work with everyone to try to get the kid back home.
Is there anything I can do- anyone I can call- to arrange to have difficult child taken to another place (other than juvy) to stay a while, while maybe we work through things therapeutically with the ultimate goal of him coming back home? And I mean somewwhere I can call that doesn't take weeks or months to get some action done? If I had done this to him, he would be out of here within 2 hours of the report.
I don't mind doing the FAPT thing- but he needs to be living somewhere else to start off with.
Maybe I just feel more assured about this since I read online today that VA did come up with a "non-custodial foster parent" option. This means that parents who have not lost custody due to their neglect or abuse can sign consent for their child to live in a foster care environment temporarily but maintain custody of that child, and since it was voluntary, the parent can withdraw that consent at any time. Under those circumstances, the agency is actually pushing hard for the parent to take and get the child back in the home. It appears that the parent has to go thru social services, but I don;t know who or when to call to make sure it ends up this way. Obviously, I can't just drive difficult child somewhere and drop him off. This was have to be arranged ahead of time so difficult child isn't wise to what is happening. But, I would want to bethere, with others there, so I could explain to difficult child that this isn't permanent and I'm not abandoning him, that I will be there and that the goal is for him to come back home.
Anyway, we got home and difficult child locked himself in my "office" so he could use the computer, which he had lost priviledges to. I know I talked to him on the way home about my researching ways to find supports and help so maybe he could stay at home, but really, I don;'t think I was antagonistic or threatening. Anyway, I pulled out my key, unlocked the office door, and difficult child was standing on the other side with a hammer in his hand, rared back ready to swing it toward my head. I crossed a line at that point.
I turned around and walked away. I said ok, that's fine and went to do something else. But mentally, I know my son needs to be someplace else for a while.
He calmed down after about 45 mins and has been nice since then. No problem. I understand his medications and his system are probably all out of whack with so many medication stuff going on. But, I can't live with 30 secs of bodily threat periodically, no matter what the reason. That doesn't mean I blame him, only that I cannot let this go on- between the inability to get to school, the inability for me to get to work, the inability for me to keep him stable and both of us protected. It just has to stop. NOW.
So I need to know- how can I get him into a placement as an emergency situation without it being a legal issue for him?
I can't make him go to a psychiatric hospital at this point. If I call 911 for police help, the police will come and talk to him and leave him here and difficult child will have to answer to the judge for another violation- been there done that. That isn't my goal. My goal is similar to if he threatened a younger sibling- they come and remove the kid who did the threatening. If the kid needs to stay away a while, they work with everyone to try to get the kid back home.
Is there anything I can do- anyone I can call- to arrange to have difficult child taken to another place (other than juvy) to stay a while, while maybe we work through things therapeutically with the ultimate goal of him coming back home? And I mean somewwhere I can call that doesn't take weeks or months to get some action done? If I had done this to him, he would be out of here within 2 hours of the report.
I don't mind doing the FAPT thing- but he needs to be living somewhere else to start off with.
Maybe I just feel more assured about this since I read online today that VA did come up with a "non-custodial foster parent" option. This means that parents who have not lost custody due to their neglect or abuse can sign consent for their child to live in a foster care environment temporarily but maintain custody of that child, and since it was voluntary, the parent can withdraw that consent at any time. Under those circumstances, the agency is actually pushing hard for the parent to take and get the child back in the home. It appears that the parent has to go thru social services, but I don;t know who or when to call to make sure it ends up this way. Obviously, I can't just drive difficult child somewhere and drop him off. This was have to be arranged ahead of time so difficult child isn't wise to what is happening. But, I would want to bethere, with others there, so I could explain to difficult child that this isn't permanent and I'm not abandoning him, that I will be there and that the goal is for him to come back home.