Now she is 35 asking to come home


Dearest Community

I posted here about my difficult daughter when she was 30, 32 and now she is 35 and it’s the same old thing.

This time she does have her own place to live, which she chose, but she doesn’t like it and wants to live with us again. Which will not happen.

But, I believe her lease is up at the end of this month. Which terrifies me.

Someone here (maybe Nomad) noted that it’s easier when they are farther away. I agree.

She has not worked in 2.5 years. She thinks she can come back to NY and be an actress. She has done enough “extra” work for that to be credible, but it doesn’t pay well and both the work and my daughter are inconsistent.

I am feeling shattered, weak, not like myself.

I am writing because I wanted to thank you all for the many wise comments posted here.

I found the article on detachment.

I read lots of posts this morning and I am feeling a little calmer.

Thank you all. Such wise, kind and caring community. Thank you.


Welcome back Denise. There doesn't seem to be much change in your daughter's life prospects over the past few years. And the idea of her quitting her home and seeking to become dependent on you has been sapping your energy. I'm glad reading the posts helped to sooth you. It sounds like you feel quite firm that she will NOT be living with you again. Good for you.