Office -

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Apr 29, 2009.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I've had it with baby-men. I'm not kidding in the least. I may just run away.

    I have figured out in the last three years what really really scares them. And I know I'm right because they NEVER touch these things.....ever.

    Toilet paper holders. I've yet to see ANYONE replace the roll of tissue.

    Vacuum cleaners. Nuf sed - I vacuum and it's an invitation to come in the office with mud on their boots. I leave the existing mud on the carpet? No further mud comes in - it's baffling. I can leave the same clump of mud on the carpet and won't get 1 more boot in that office - it's like they need a dirt pile to feel manly.

    Trash cans - it's either the plastic, the liner or throwing things away....not sure.

    Crooked pictures - The Mona lisa could hang sideways in our office and no one would notice - I know because I took a picture and hung it sideways and no one said a thing for three months.......and the one in the bathroom I hung upside down. Probably too busy fearing the toilet paper roll.

    Fart spray - I don't get that they would all rather gag a maggot, leave the door open and the fan running after stinking up the place than grabbing the bottle of spray and helping the rest of us along.

    Dead birds - Even with the fear of West Nile Virus - the boss left a dead bird in his radiator for me to pass every day for a month. Yes, he knew it was there.

    and not that they are afraid of this - but I have NEVER EVER met such a huge bunch of gossip mongers in my life. OMG I thought working in an office with women was brutal - until you are the only woman on an all man crew you have no clue. I have learned to apply that best of difficult child tactics here and just make those .......mmmmmmmhmmmmm noises or oh or wow...

    And the guy in the other office near me? OMG -

    3 - THREE 20 minute potty breaks a day where we are all subjected to his wafting aroma - he's the one with fear of toilet paper holders and fart spray. He clips his nails constantly......I found out that my shredder drives him up the wall - so I save my papers and shred them while he's clipping his nails to block out the noise. He forever took the FIRST parking space -5 feet from the door......and when the boss said that was his - he took mine so I actually had to bring this up in a meeting - STAY outta Star's parking spot - he laughed....he was the only one.....and when he comes into the office he never sits in his chair - he flops - I swear if I didn't think it would cause another set of fears I'd lower the chair....and let him get a big surprise.....

    He also snoops in my office constantly to the point where I finally had to start locking things up....then I put vaseline on the bottom of my drawer so when he grabbed it to pull - he knew, I knew what he had been doing. :faint:

    Anyone else work with people like this?
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    No....but I howled about the toilet breaks. I have been to construction sites and seen them use the portapotty's. OMG. You do not want to go in one right after the guys get done using one! And yes, they do go at least 3 times a day for 20 Especially first thing in the morning when they get on the job....lmao.

    But really...a construction worker who clips his nails? Regularly? For real? I thought they all just broke off. Tony clips them if they last long enough but his work is so rough that he is always breaking them.

    Of course, you do have an office and all the guys I know work out of a van or at the very best a trailer.
  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I know this is not exactly a laughing matter but the part about the smell...well, lets just say I can relate. My husband can REALLY defile a bathroom. lol

    Men...their kinda nasty creatures, huh.
  4. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    I'm FedExing my sword.

  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Yup... husband and both difficult children are the kind of people that, after a potty break more than 2 minutes I avoid the bathroom. I'll hold it till I explode first. Sears the inside of my nose. If I ever need my nostrils cauterized, I know what to do.

    I work with mostly women. There is one unisex restroom and then, further back, two separated ones (the women's has stalls... never been in the men's). I prefer the unisex one, even though it's used by many, because there IS a fan and the walls go to the ceiling. And a lock. And a trash can! The one with stalls, that time of the month, there are no cans in the stalls so you have to take your used products, wrap them in toilet paper, and set them on top of the toilet paper holder till done... Then after you throw it away clean up. At least I always do. YECH!

    Used to be the only female in a construction office, and they were always good boys. I don't know...
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Janet - HES a SALESMAN.......

    we get the FIRST thing rush in the morning poo - (never moves faster all day that when he GETS there) -then we're ALL privy to have the aroma with our coffee - I stopped making it - (kitchen next to the crapper) and bring mine from home. At least I can enjoy it in my car.
    And then? We always get the pleasure of him BEFORE he leaves - NOT EVER FAILS - It's like he's a panda - Eats, shoots, and leaves......and leaves the door open......the fan on. It will curdle the cream on your coffee.
    Then just after lunch - and oddly enough we HAVE 2 bathrooms - one in the warehouse that he COULD use - but no - we're all special and his ** doesn't stink....he won't use the spray either......I sprayed lysol one day after I couldn't take it ANY more - he complained about the Lysol smell. No kidding.

    I put in the fragrance fan things near the bathroom and my office? He whined they were TOO strong.......I wanted to ask "The Pooper" what I should do - but I even put an Ozium automatic sprayer in the bathroom and He disconnected it. He also disconnected and broke on purpose the bell to our door so I (ME NOT HIM _ HE NEVER MOVES OUT OF HIS CHAIR) would know if a customer was in the office......and as he's a salesperson? You would think he'd be UP looking for customers but Little Lord Fontleroy likes to be ANNOUNCED......(I stopped announcing and started selling stuff myself) THAT got him moving.

    I have suspected (remember Janet??) that he is BiPolar (BP) or something. He takes Abilify (not enough if you ask me) - and will talk and laugh (if you can call it that) to everyone and thankfully ignores me....but is obesessed with snooping in my office. I did buy a clock from the Smarter Image that will record to my computer everything he's doing - I'm going to hook it up soon. Looks like a clock with a camera on it. ;) If this is what a BiPolar (BP) person with an aire of aristocracy (daddy is a banker Mommy is a college teacher) is like? You can HAVE them - he's a little weirdo. And.....UGH while I'm venting - won't answer the phone -if I am on FIRE he would say STAR are you going to get that? that work is scarce? He's started snatching up the phone on the first ring. I got asked by my boss if I was EVER going to answer the phone again. (DUH - since Christmas boy wonder has been snatching it up and boss told me not to answer until the 2nd or 3rd ring.) Asked boss if he was being sarcastic - he said no - so we had a talk.
    If a truck comes in we are ALL supposed to unload it. He won't - he lets the truck drivers stand there until I get back from wherever and says OH here she is. LIke - big deal - it's a THe truckers all now just come in my office.....and I can't type here what they think of a boy who sits while a woman unloads. (OH GAW>.....he's in the bathroom AGAIN !!!! 4th time today) which I wouldn't notice but sometimes in those 4 20 minute spots a woman may have to potty.

    I'm considering calling the fam in ND and having someone send me sweet grass - except for all the years I've worked here and BEGGED everyone NOT to smoke in the warehouse - they did. Ignored my signs.....laughed behind my back becuase NONE of them has the brass paperclips to say it to my face (and I'm right) - then one of them threw a cigarette out the door - and not in the PROVIDED Butt canister - and caught the place on fire....BIG fire.....and THEN the boss said - NO MORE SMOKING.....

    I told the other man that doesn't smoke and is a friend - IF THAT"s all it took I would have set that grass and boards on fire myself LONG ago.

    DF said he's either related....(which they BOTH deny becasue I have asked several times) or The guy has a picture of the boss with a goat......

    I'm going with related......(ewwwwww)
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911

  8. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Well, as I'm the only female in an office of men, I can relate to much of this. Not construction but men are men I think. Especially the not using the spray. As if their left over "fragrance" is better than the spray, and as if leaving the fan on and the door open with help clear it away. GACK And the toilet paper, they'll open a new roll and leave it sitting on top of the holder. Like actually putting it on is too much work.

    I'd keep spraying the lysol. He doesn't like your lysol? Well you don't like his stench so too bad on him - keep spraying Star
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Oh, yeah. Three guys in my office, and every day after lunch there is the parade to the toilet. The one that takes the 20 minute potty then flops down in his chair and goes to sleep and snores. I always yell at him "Wake up! No sleeping on the job!"

    I remember one day between home and work before noon I had changed out five empty rolls of toilet paper. Every time I walked into a bathroom that day, I swear!
  10. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I am in an office with almost all women. Right now the only guy wouldn't dream of such a thing. He knows that a lynching could happen. Especially at the wrong time of the month.

    Get him with that spray....

  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Being a teacher I work with mostly women although we do have a few men. I hate when they leave the toilet seats up!
  12. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Tomorrow morning when Mr. I Smell Like Roses does his thing? Be ready for him.

    Tonight, mix up the following:

    One can of Campbell's Veggie soup, approximately a bowl's worth of Cheerios and enough milk for said bowl. (And maybe a bit of old coffee for kicks and giggles) Mix well and a large enough container and then leave it out on the counter over night. Cover well in the morning and take to work.

    After Mr. ISLR's first constitutional (once the aroma has wafted it's way through the office) start couging. Then start making gagging noises. (use these noises to mask the uncovering of your container) Then make OTHER noises QUICKLY followed by the contents of your container hitting the inside of your waste basket. For affect, drool a bit and let it run down your chin a little. Present Mr. ISLR with his new "award" and inform him that if he doesn't start A) leaving the door shut and B) using the spray, this daily gift will be received on top of his desk.

    Minus the trash can.
  13. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You know, maybe I'm anal retentive, but there is no way on earth that I could even do that at work. No need for floral sprays for me. Heck my eyes usually are halfway out of my head because I won't even pass gas in there!
  14. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Who'd of thunk we'd have a thread on passing gas. I'm dying laughing because I know it's TRUE!!! It doesn't matter what house...what guy...can you flipping contain yourself??? I do! You can do it, too. I could demo that. (Don't get me started.):surprise:

  15. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Did Witz really say "anal retentive" in a discussion of toilet habits? I think I have a coupon for that.
  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Oh yeah. I know what it means...:D
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Well I didn't do the campbells soup / cheerios thing - but........

    I did put a lable on the spray that said -


    = Someone actually used it this morning.......OMG-

  18. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    The office clean up thing reminds me of my house. I have the same problem. ugh

    And everyone wonders why I'm in no great hurry to clean. sheesh
  19. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i'm sitting here weak laughing, oh they have no idea what their in store for with you!!! LOL.......... :)

    yes, Men yack more than woman and as you said what's worse is they dont' do any of those things you listed.

    so, basically im sorry what are men good for again?? someone please remind me, please.......... :)