We've had our shopping centre problems...
We do our big shopping expeditions to a centre which until a few years ago was the largest in the Southern Hemisphere. You can imagine what THAT place does to a difficult child, let alone a family of them.
Can't remember exactly what occurred, only that I left toddler difficult child 3, who at the time was on a harness and leash to keep him with us (he did not respond to hearing his name, thanks to his autism) in the 'care' of difficult child 1, aged about 12 and easy child 2/difficult child 2, then 10. She had no diagnosis and was alleged to be very intelligent as well as socially smart. We had left the three in an open area for a few minutes and returned to find easy child 2/difficult child 2 swinging difficult child 3 round in a large circular sweep on the floor, swinging him by his leash. difficult child 3 wasn't screaming, but he wasn't too happy either. A few adults had stopped to stare and a couple were about to intervene to tell this girl to stop mistreating her baby brother, just as we turned up. The looks of disgust we copped were everywhere (close to Christmas). First, we had this kid on a leash (they had no idea how badly we needed it) and this older girl who clearly should have known better, was using it to have her own fun AND greatly disrupt the shopping centre's human traffic flow.
At least the leash was attached to a five point harness, and not merely around his neck!
I think we got out of there two steps in front of security...
And when easy child 2/difficult child 2 was a toddler, she seemed to have an affinity for men with facial hair, she would run to a total stranger as if he were her father, simply because the bloke had a beard.
Of course, we know now she has facial blindness, but never realised until a recent documentary that this is not common.
Malls and difficult children do not mix.
Mind you, we've never told people off for being concerned. After all, if there really WAS a problem for the child I would want that degree of vigilance turned to help my child. In our news at the moment is a couple being investigated for the death of their 7 year old autistic daughter. She weighed 9 Kg at autopsy. The media haven't been very vocal about her autism - I just read that in the paper, back on page 6 - and knowing how a lot of autistic kids really have trouble with food, I do wonder what the eventual story will be. However, DOCS (our CPS) already had this family under investigation and other kids (not autistic) had already been removed, so this story has more to it.
If only someone had been more vigilant, the girl could still be alive, and getting the treatment she needed.
If someone DOES start yelling when really, it's not appropriate - we just say, "Thank you for being vigilant, but this situation is actually under control. Life with a disabled child is never easy and he's just had enough of shopping for the day."
And if they REALLY get difficult, we just ask them how much experience they have had, with special needs kids. If they continue to be armchair experts, we've even offered to let them take the kid home. By this stage they've often mysteriously lost enthusiasm for being helpful, and gone away.
Humour works best, even when someone is being offensive. I avoid being angry or offensive in return because all that does, is confirm that person's bad opinion of me. And while I really don't care what people think, I DO mind when it is likely to cause me inconvenience (such as a police interview, or DOCS).
I flash a smile and simply say, "My mother warned me there would be days like this." Or, "I'm farming him out for a commercial for birth control!"
Marg