OK, How do I get my little N to wear Glasses???

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by totoro, Mar 6, 2008.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Here we go again, so N has a messed up left eye, she has had a blocked lacrimal duct, 3 probes, 2 stents, 1 balloon dilation, none of them have worked... she has an abnormally shaped lacrimal duct opening... she has a 3rd lacrimal duct in between the other 2... an anomaly... that they hope never opens... this has happened over the past 3 years!!!
    So in between that they tell us that if her little left eye starts drifting inward and up, go get it checked ASAP...
    So the past 6 months. YEP

    So she has been continually falling, bumping into things, eye crossing.
    So today I spend all day with her in Spokane at another specialist... She was SO good...
    She has Stabismus... no putting the fox in the box and patching her will not help her at all either.
    So for now she HAS to wear glasses, we will see if she needs surgery in the future...
    The doctor was very good!!! He was great with her, considering how much anxiety she has...
    I got her a little pink dog from blues clues on the way home, she has glasses!!! I ordered a coupled of books online... she does not know yet... we will go in the morning and order them...
    So has anyone had to deal with this with one this young, and Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), and Anxiety?
    How do you get them to keep them on, what about summer?
    Gosh, I am glad to know what the problem is, but [email protected], I am just so sick of my poor kids having one thing after another... husband and I have never had an eye problem... how do I get her to think it is cool if I don't wear glasses???
    I wear sunglasses...
    I will wear fake ones if it helps!!!

    Any advice please!!!
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    wm had the same diagnosis, the same problem keeping glasses on (or even around his person) & he did end up having the surgery. Still needs the glasses however.

    The rule then, as is now, is that glasses are to remain on his face. Period. It sounds harsh but is actually a health issue - husband & I take no prisoners on health issues.

    Saying that, we used (& it worked until he was about 8) a reward system for each week we got a positive report from school about his glasses & we had the same positive behavior at home. That was hard for wm. We gave him help in that we used those little elastic glasses things that held the things on his head. We found a source somewhere here in town that had "cool" ones - he didn't get teased if it was Batman.

    Rough outdoor play the glasses came off.

    The poor kid hated the glasses; he also had slight Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) issues so we allowed the last 2 hours of the day for him to go with-o glasses. On the weekends, he had to have his glasses on by 10 a.m.

    I can't tell you it worked all the time but it worked (watch out here - I'm an IEP, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), day treatment warrior mom) at least 70% of the time. For husband & myself that is acceptable.

    wm now spends more time looking for his glasses - he knows that he will end up paying for half of his glasses out of his own pocket if they end up lost or broken or both.

    And saying all that toto, your N is going to have to get used to the feeling on her face; going to have to get used to seeing straight - this is a whole new sensation for her.

    I'd start out slow - a couple of hours in the morning. Hours where she is occupied. I don't know if N watches TV, but those were the best times of day for wm to keep his glasses on. The same with coloring, playing board games, etc. wm got a small reward (cup of chocolate milk) if he kept his glasses on during that time frame. I didn't even tell him up front.

    The time he kept his glasses on slowly climbed until wearing glasses became a habit for him.

    Good luck - change for kids is rough. This one is rough. by the way, don't make a big deal about how pretty she is in her new glasses - kt ripped hers off each & every time we told her that. Instead I made sure she had outfits that "matched" her glasses, if you will. Wasn't hard as the color glasses she picked out matched just about everything. She had the same rules as wm, but didn't have the stabismus. Just needed the things to see. No biggy there - right???

    If I think of any other tricks to the trade I'll let you know. The big one is if N is agitated or threatening to have a glasses throwing tantrum - grab those su<kers off her face & put them out of reach. The glasses will be the first thing to be broken. I kid you not.

    Keep us updated!
  3. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    difficult child is very farsighted and started wearing glasses at age 3. Kids at this age are all over the place--some put them on their heads and never want to take them off (even for naps) because their vision is so improved. difficult child wasn't one of those kids until about 6 months later. He took them off at every turn--left them on the floor, in the garden, in the microwave, stashed in boxes, thrown down the stairs, mangled them in his hands...well you get the picture. In essence he treated them like any other toy, but you could see his struggle because he was reading already then and they helped so much. We were regulars at the opticians store which is inconviently located on the furthest side of town but the upshot of that is that going in 2-3 times a week for adjustments and replacements meant that we got to know the ladies really well and they were very good to us, both in being nice and in cutting us a deal.

    If they have a replacement package, I would get that said the mom of the poster child for the kids replacement package who went through 7 pairs that first year. If she turns out to be rough on them like difficult child, I'd get two pairs so you have a backup. Some adjustments can be made quickly but there were times we needed to wait for a piece or a new frame. It helped him a lot to have the continuity when one was broken or misplaced.

    Good luck, I felt bad for difficult child too as it seems like he was the kid in our family who had it all heaped on too. Once he was through the adjustment period he didn't even want to take them off for sleeping.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    When Travis was little he went thru a pair of gasses a week. I kid you not.

    Keeping them on his face was never a problem unless they were broken. He liked being able to see better.

    Those sports glasses came out when he was little. He wore those all of the time for years. Still broke them, but about once ever three months instead of once a week.

    Then those bendable frames came out when he was in jr high. We got him a pair. The expensive ones. We've never had another broken frame.

    If you didn't get Flexons (name is someting like that) frames, you should consider it.. There are also straps you can buy that fasten to the ear pieces that keep the glasses on.

    But my kids never gave me problems with wearing their glasses til hs. Travis never did. The girls didn't want to wear them in hs because of vanity. lol But both are wearing them now.

  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    My difficult child started wearing glasses at around age 3 as well. He has amblyopia (wandering eye), and the glasses keep his eye from turning inwards.

    Like Linda, we had a "Glasses must always be on your face" rule, with the exception of shower and sleeping. The fact that it's non-negotiable seems to have worked well for difficult child. He has rules about wearing his glasses, caring for them, and putting them in the same spot every time he takes them off so that he can find them again.

    When difficult child becomes anxious, his glasses become a focal point for his frustration (Mom, my glasses need adjusting! We need to go to the optician today!), but otherwise he adjusted to them pretty well.

    You've received great advice from the others.

  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Toto -

    Hugs for N and the anxiety - I had to wear glasses when I was younger and my Mom had the same - GLASSES are a rule. There was just NO getting around it.

    Maybe with all the selections of glasses frames - you can get her a couple coordinating pairs to match her outfits???? And let her pick out her colors?

    Maybe even some really BEDAZZLED frames for just being funny?

    Are there any books about kids having to wear glasses that your doctor knows about? Gosh - that would make for an interesting kids book. Must draw some pictures now. lol

    I wish it were as easy as telling her - Aunti Star wears them - but she thinks Aunti Star is as old as dirt. lol

  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Oh my gosh, thank you all SO much!!! As some one who has never had to deal woth any of this... I am reading the little pamphlet... and the stuff online. BUT, you know you guy's have kids with issues as well.
    She needs them for vision as well... so it the double whammy. The doctor showed me her vision. YIKES! it is horrible, I feel so bad that she is walking around like that.
    Last night I found 4 little books online all about this.
    A blues clues book, a couple other ones all of them funny but very clear about how important it is.
    The good thing is is that SHE LOVES BRIBES!!!
    I like the weekly reward, I think with her age, we will do a daily, and then go with a weekly big reward!!! For example, she loves going to Mcdonalds to play at the fun land thing... but we do not let them eat fast food!!!
    SO that would be HUGE!!!!
    She loves hot cocoa... If it was K, she never got into the bribes, but N... loves it!!!

    Thank you alll!!!
  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    Tink just got glasses. Now in her case, they are for reading and TV only, but the point is, I am blown away by how cute some of them are. Even the cheaper frames (that is, not necessarily designer frames) have some cute styles. We got her a backup pair too. Both pairs flex; one is pink & one is purple. We got some tiny rhinestones that you would put on your fingernails and jazzed up the temples. She thinks she is just ALL that.
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Tink IS all that! :D
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Tink sure is ALL THAT and so much MORE!!!!

  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well maybe N can be all that with her!!!
    And FYI.... Tink is all that...
  12. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Oh, N could SO totally be all that.

    In fact, K would want glasses just to be all that too.
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    Get the flexible bendy glasses. They are SO worth it with a little one.

    Again, take no prisoners was my approach - you have glasses (now contacts) they better be in place. All waking hours. PERIOD.

    We did work up to them. Started with 2 hours, worked up. We started difficult child in wire frames, the flexons just were WAY out of our grad school budget.

    Anyway, the trick is to keep the bribes freshand interesting AND to make sure that the glasses are comfortable and CLEAN. The premoistened wipes are great while you travel or are away from home. At home I use a spray bottle with alcohol in it. It hasn't damaged any of my coatings so far. Ammonia will damage coatings.

    If you need another source for glasses, please read the blog on www.glassyeyes.com and check out www.zennioptical.com or the optical places on glassyeyes. I bought my rimless glasses 3 years ago from Zenni. I have had to replace the screw at one temple and tighten them periodically. I also paid $15 for a 5 minute adjustment at a local optical place when I got them. (They really dogged the quality, said that theirs were SOOO much better. But these are in good shape after 3 years,and I am not very gentle on them.). The coating on the piece that goes over the ear was broken at the first adjustment. because they were $59 (and I have a very high power and lots of astigmatism), there was no replacement plan. The entire coating came off a month ago, so it is just a wire. For me, no biggie. For a kid it might be a problem.

    I am not sure what your insurance covers. I think for a kid a pair from Zenni or another online place might be a good thing to keep put up incase seh loses or breaks a pair. Or if she wants a stylin' pair you could get them online.

    I am sorry she has so much trouble with her eyes. I hope the glasses help.


  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    N is already ALL THAT.

    glasses will put her so far into the stylin' category you will have to get a ladder to reach her!


  15. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    We purchase glasses at the optical department of our opthamologist. I know the up-front purchase costs are more, but it's evened out in the long run because they know us well. If they break our frames while adjusting them, they replace them for free (and that's happened several times). Once I requested difficult child's new frames to be overnighted and they never arrived so they gave me that pair free as well.
  16. I will just second purchasing the insurance or replacement package. I think that the first year difficult child wore glasses we got 7 or 8 replacements (no extra charge). It is also definitely worth spending the money for the bendable , lightweight frames with transitions lenses and with a protective lens coating (to prevent scratches). I don't usually go for all the "bells and whistles" but the transitions are just wonderful in the way they protect the eyes from harmful rays and the bendable frames keep you from going back for replacements so often. Additionally, they are very light weight and much less bothersome.

    Our difficult child fought the glasses at first , they just didn't fit with his "cool" image- but now he doesn't care - he just wants to be able to see. Good luck on your new adventure!
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I totally agree that getting them at the doctor's office is the way to go if you can. I just know the replacement is NOT always the same day. So it might be good to get a cheap second pair just in case you really need them.

    Esp since these are to correct a serious medical problem.

    My glasses work well for me. We couldn't afford to get them if they were over $100, just no money and I really needed them. Not the highest quality, but they don't look any worse than the $500 pair husband got just before me. He had bifocals, problems, etc...

  18. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well we took her, and we bribed her!!! She was so scared at first, she has been so anxious lately... lying on the table, her head hurting. Saying it is hard to think... it is hard to do things...
    She was scared that they might not help... :(
    "What if they don't work Mommy?"
    SO I showed her this HUGE flower cookie I had bought her secretly... and I let her start eating it while we drove to the place!!!
    She started picking out glasses while husband filled out paperwork and insurance...
    She picked out 3 pairs... with flexible frames, pink and purple... very cute.
    We didn't worry so much about the cost this time, and let her just pick out which ever ones she wanted.
    The Optometrist? Helped size her and made sure they fit, he put some little measurer thingy on her head and made her walk around and run around. Made her take them on and off...
    Showed her how to take them off and on... he was very nice. He said it would take a couple of days. We are getting some poly carbonate... blah blah... I figure these are the first. You guys can tell me what to get for the next ones!!! We are going to order a back up pair also!!!
    But she was excited about it once she looked in the mirror!!!
    When we left, she stopped and said, "Well where are my glasses?"
    We then took her and K and Clemey Sue to a friends coffee shop and sat outside because it was a balmy 45 degrees... they got hot cocoa!!!
    So N did really well, so far she is excited!!! But she has not actually worn them... LOL
  19. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    She will be so excited by being able to see, she will probably want to wear them. It will make the colors seem so much brighter when she first wears them. I remember.

    It also will make her head hurt a lot less.