Oldest difficult child update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tiapet, Dec 17, 2012.

  1. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    She has been doing well in her therapy, actively participating and now that her therapist has taken on the task of educating herself in dilactic behavior therapy things are even better. There is only 1 therapist in this area who does it and she doesn't take our insurance not to mention if she even did, she is so far over booked with an extensive waiting list it would be years before she could even get in to her. The nearest one otherwise is 3 hours away!

    My daughter also has been reading and educating herself outside working her therapy in the ways of mindfulness thinking and other things related. She has been earnestly TRYING to catch herself when she acts out or mouths me or says inappropriate things in general. She asks me if she acts appropriately at times because she can not judge for herself most often.

    I really am very proud of her and her taking ownership for helping herself. Don't get me wrong, she still has her moments that are not good but.....
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    As usual, we can't measure progress purely by results. It is a process. But the most promising thing is that SHE is seeking help and putting in effort. That, alone, is a huge ray of hope. So glad she has gotten to that point.
  3. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    I am so happy for you and your difficult child!!! If mine would only admit there his a problem and ask for help. I almost had him there with the last poilce, detox, Baker Act espisode, but they are back together.

    He has cut off all contact with me so I am stepping back to just let things play out as they will. AS mine is closer to 34 than 35 I am beginning to realize this may be 'normal' for him.

    (((hugs and blessings)))
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That is great news. My former therapist and I tried to learn DBT together. It was interesting. I miss her. I have given up on trying to get a new therapist because there just isnt one available in my county that takes my insurance. I am not willing to drive over an hour a week for therapy. Not worth it to me.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Wow sounds like a huge leap to be taking on some personal responsibility. Great update.
  6. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Sounds really promising. My personal experience with my difficult child has been that after hitting his impossible years which lasted for ages (maybe twelve years), he is gradually improving sort of "despite himself" simply because he is becoming older and more mature.

    Of course -- it helps having him on the other side of the world!!! But he is 26 now and I truly no longer feel responsible for him.

    Hang in there -- it's going in the right direction.

    Love, Esther
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Very good news! :)
  8. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Thank you everyone. It is good that she has gotten back on board with this. She did it in early teens and did well enough to get through school and graduate and then spiraled down once she started out on her own and into college and no support and bad help through college psychiatrist plus all the stress and everything else that comes with the college experience. It was like BAM! So, out of college she had to go and that fiasco in itself has wrecked havoc, the damage of having to pull her and the consequences of not being able to get back into college now (long story posted before on this and ongoing saga).

    Janet, they say the Dialactic is the only therapy that truly works with personality disorders, especially if the person is invested in their therapy and LIKES their therapist. I can't say that she "likes" her therapist as she doesn't exactly but she tolerates her because there is really no one else and tolerating is better then nothing. Know what I mean?? The fact that therapist was willing to take on learning this therapy is wonderful and great and that SHE is participating is making the difference. Also the fact that even though she tends to want to be non medication compliant in the traditional BiPolar (BP) "medications don't work" or fail, which they usuaully do, she still will take. We've finally got depakote working "fairly" well in keeping her semi even in moods. Nothing ever has before. She's never been able to take an anti depressant before either as it's triggered mania since she never was able to be on the mood stabilizer (failed them). Now she is on one that's working and of course the winter depression time and NEEDS the SSRI on board so we're trialing it and hoping it works. She's also got trazadone working for sleep stabilizing pretty well finally so that she can keep somewhat of an even pattern to that. Otherwise that cycle was all over the place. Go to bed anywhere from 1-4A and wake up at 3-5p. It was a mess. Now we have much more normal cycle, not great but better (sleep by 11-12 and up by 11-12). Like I said, not great but at least it's more regular. It's a start! :)