Still cautiously optimistic. Son has had a calm week. Got up for court on his own and was on time Thursday. Made all his other regular Wed appointments Bail/Rehab gor to work on Friday. It's a long weekend and he was home clear and present by 11 pm! Went to sleep. Woke up in a clear fresh state. His health is improving significantly. No more ugly coughing fits until he pukes, no more rage out of control for no reason. Bate money not taken. He has a public defender assigned and I hope he sees his way to putting a plea in next time he is in court. I am tired of court. He is looking forward to a week at a cottage with us. This is the first time in a long time he has not put up a fuss about coming away on vacation with us. It is a cottage on a lake in Northern Ontario. We have rented for a week. I have slept well for 2 nights for the first time in a long long time. I wake with panic early in the morning still, but it is not as bad. I need to control my anxiety about him back sliding and acting out and using drugs again. It's hard, early days and the fear is always there. One day at a time. I found a great resource for Harm reduction therapy and spoke to an addict who entered recovery with this treatment philosophy. After many failed attempts she has been clean and sober for 8 years. She is now a harm reduction outreach couselor in Texas. It is not about allowing the addict to continue using. It is about them being in control and making decisions and allowing them to come to the conclusion that abstinence is what they need. I am still doing more reading. Have a safe and happy long weekend everyone!