One Of Those Mornings

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Aug 21, 2012.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    easy child has sports camp this week, so I got him up and ready to go and as I was leaving I told difficult child that I had to stop at the store on the way home and I would see him when I got back. When I got home he was making himself eggs and sausage for breakfast. I was chatting with him while he was cooking and I was putting the things away that I bought. He ate and came into the den and asked me if he really had to clean up after he cooked his breakfast. I told him that he did and that's the rule. You cook, you clean up. He gets annoyed that I won't clean up for him, so he throws a ball at me. It missed and it was really soft so it wouldn't have hurt me if it had, but I took it away from him and told him to go clean up his mess. Again, he refused and now was complaining that I was really mean to him when I took the ball away and wasn't going to cleam up until I said I was sorry. So I went up to his room and tried to take his Xbox controllers away. I got two of them, but he managed to grab the third before I could. I took the two that I had and put them in my room. He starts demanding that I give them back. I told him that once he did what was expected of him I would be more than happy to give them back. He didn't like that answers, so the cursing began and he said he was going to play his Xbox and he didn't give a f$* if I said that he couldn't. Now I'm getting really annoyed because I feel like I'm losing control, so I went downstairs and shut off the curcuits to his room. No power = no video games. That did't make him any happier and he was screaming and cursing, so I picked up my bag and a small needlework project that I'm working on and told difficult child that I had errands to run and I walked out the door, all the while he's screaming at me and demaning that I turn the power back on in his room.

    I drove for a while and finally went to a park that is about 20 minutes from the house. I sat for a little while. I worked on my sitching. After a little while I decided to head back home. Just as I was starting difficult child called me on my cell and asked where I was. I told him I was out. "When are you coming home?" I told him that I would come home when I was ready. His answer to that was "f(&* you!!" and I hung up the phone on whatever the rest of the sentance was. So, now I'm heading home and I have no desire to go there, so I go to another grocery store that didn't have something that I had looked for in the store I went to after I dropped easy child at camp. When I got back into the car I realized that I had left my phone in the car and when I checked it I saw that I had missed a call from difficult child. I call him and told him that I was sorry that I missed his call but that I had left the phone in the car. Now he's crying, begging me to come home, telling me that he's sorry and he'll tell me that however many times I want as long as I come home. I told him I was at the store and was leaving and would be home in a ferw minutes.

    I get home and he tells me again that he's sorry. I asked him if he cleaned up his mess from breakfast and he said that he would do it right now and I told him that once I saw him at least start to clean up (which was only 1 pan to begin with) I would turn the power back on in his room. He's been fine ever since.

    After I left the house I wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do, but I was losing muy patience and didn't know what to do. What if he really blew up and wrecked the place? The worst thing that he did was take the power cable to my laptop because he was mad at me, but he put it in his room and locked the door, so not only was my power cable locked in his room, but now he had locked himself out. Could I please unlock the door for him, which I did.

    School starts here two weeks from today and he knows that. I'm sure that is part of what his problem was this morning.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I take "breaks" from the tantrums often. It is good for me AND difficult child 1. For us, it is a signal to difficult child 1 that I'm "done" and while I'm gone, it's usually enough time for him to process the situation. He can't do that when "fuel" keeps being added to the fire and it spirals out of control like it did for you. When I go, I purposely don't answer the phone so he can't keep it going. I break the chain so to speak. Hopefully the rest of the day goes well for you.
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I've wanted to leave the house on other occasions, but this was the first time that i really could because easy child wasn't home. Next time I will have to take easy child with me so that I can leave.

    The rest of the day went ... okay, I guess. After easy child got home he and difficult child got into a fight, which easy child sort of started. easy child went to apologize to difficult child but he did a really bad job of it and I told him that he had to say he was sorry the right way. easy child chose to go back and sit on his bed a while longer, to which difficult child opens his mouth and says, "You know, I was really hoping that he was going to be NICE today!" I turned around and said to him, "You know something, difficult child? You didn't exactly have the best day, either, so I wouldn't be saying anything about being nice if I were you."

    Sigh. I think I need a drink.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    How many days until school starts?

    Except... this year mine are back to being in the same school, so... it might not be enough of a break from each other...
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Two weeks from today.

    (But I'm not counting or anything)
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    oh gosh Bunny....sorry you had to go through that. I wish I could leave, I think that is a good idea actually. It's hard to come up with ideas that will de-escalate things and save our sanity, all the while not wanting to make things worse in the future (being a teaching/therapeutic parent...ugg that gets old some days, I admit it). I do go to my room and separate us when I hear him getting stuck in some idea or rage/tantrum and if I do it early enough it often does help. We do what we can do.

    yes, I too am counting the days till school starts!
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Thanks, Buddy. I've tried to walk away and go into my room, but he pushes the door in before I can get it closed and locked, and if I do manage to get the door closed and locked before he gets to it, he stands on the outside of my room and POUNDS on it so there really is no way to get away from him. I do think that leaving was a good idea. I thought that after I hung up the phone on him when he started to curse at me would send him through the roof again, but I'm just sick of the language and the disrespect. Since I wasn't in the room with him and I could cut off the barrage before it started, I did.

    And when I did get home after he told me he was sorry, his next comment was, "At least I didn't beat the :censored2: out of you!" I told him that that was good because if he had touched me I would have called the police and had him arrested. He said that was why he didn't hit me. Gee, isn't that nice of him?