Ongoing Hygiene Issues


Still having a problem with hygiene with my SS. I have told everyone here before how he gets urine and feces all over the toilet seat and under the toilet seat. husband and I told him that he would have to clean it from now on before we take him home and for a little while that worked. He cleaned it, not very well mind you, but he cleaned it. So we have gotten lax about checking it before we take him home on Sundays. Well yesterday we had to take him home early and we were in a rush. husband asked him if there was feces on or under the toilet seat and he said, "no because I haven't had a bowel movement this weekend at all." Well I just went upstairs to do some cleaning and lo and behold, I go in the bathroom that SS uses and there is feces all over the back of the toilet seat, and under the toilet seat as well and the toilet had feces in it because he didn't flush it. Disgusting and I am furious! I just got done cleaning up the mess. This boy is 13 years old, there is no excuse for getting urine and feces all over the toilet in the first place, and absolutely no excuse for not cleaning it up!! And definitely no excuse for lying and saying he didn't poop all weekend. He also refused to shower all weekend. I am so sick of having to deal with this every other weekend. It's awful not to be able to relax and feel comfortable in my own home. :(


Well-Known Member
Its not easy, Im still battling issues with my son having pee and poop accidents in his pants.. ( does hold it most times) but he usually tells me to clean the toilet. Daughter still having her hygiene issues too, uggh, only so much we can do I guess? Maybe bribe your SS with a reward for cleaning up after himself? Does he say why he wont /cant clean it up?

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Ugh! I can relate. difficult child still makes messes with his urine on the floor and toilet seat (not so much but still happening) and it drives me crazy but it is the way it is right now. Keep having him clean it up and maybe it will start to sink in?


Well-Known Member
Urine I can understand. Well not really but some guys just can't aim.

Feces is not understandable. He needs help

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I would sit down with him, calmly, and ask him what bothers him the most about the feces. Does he just want to get rid of it and run away? You can tell him you feel the same way, but it's not fair that you have to clean up from your own body AND his. And ... offer a reward.
Or maybe he's got so much business/busy-ness going on in his head, it doesn't even occur to him to clean up. Does he flush? That's worth a "Good job!" comment.
And ... you've got to check every. single. time. :(
I bought WetWipes for my son and it helped a LOT. I showed him how to use them.
If you buy them, try to buy one without a picture of a baby or he'll refuse them. :)


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The wet wipes helped my son a lot,too. BUT, he tried flushing several and clogged the toilet. He did it over and over...not good! My difficult child didn't outgrow this till age 15----honest. Doctors really were no help.


Well-Known Member
My son flushed them, too. We had to invest in a Toto toilet. It was worth it. I can't tell you how many times the ceiling/floor leaked in the past 10 years. We keep the plumber and handyman on speed dial.