Star*
call 911........call 911
Laughing in the car on the way to taking Dude back to "his" home becasue he wanted to go rollerskating. For such an unorganized, disconbobulated grace-lacking child he really is phenominal on skates and I love to just sit and watch him. However DF and I got a chuckle and thought I'd share it with you.
D: "I want to get home so I can go skating tonight."
Us: "So you enjoy the skating rink that much? That's great."
D: "Yes I enjoy it, but the girls that go there are just UGH."
Us: "What do you mean UGH?"
D: "The clothes they wear, and then they chase me and X around." (x is friend and NOT handsome at all by any stretch of the imagination and his personality is beyond blah)
Us: "Well little girls have always followed you around."
D: "No Momma - these are 15 and 16 year old girls dressed in....in....well their shorts are like this big (does hands at about 4") and their shirts are so see through I don't have to imagine a thing."
Us: "4" shorts? Oh come on."
D: "Momma I swear - they leave NOTHING to my imagination and it's AWFUL......(long pause) Why if I had a daughter that dressed like THAT? OMG I would (long pause) NOT allow her to go in public like that!!!"
Then a long silence followed by - MY HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER.....and then DF's laughter.....and Dude smiling "What Momma?"
Us: "You know with your shaved hair, notched eyebrows, tattoos, baggy pants, 1/2" rhinestone stud earrings, 3 or 4 silver chains, blingy dinner plate sized belt buckle, and NOW a grill...YOU ARE ONE TO TALK about how people dress." (says DF)
and I seized the moment and said Dudes FAMOUS words back to him -
"Well I'm sure those girls are JUST DRESSING....their OWN style - you know, not anyone ELSES style....being...(pause) THEMSELVES - kinda like you and the style YOU wear."
(could have heard a cricket blink)
D: "Well I'm not hanging my goodies out for everyone to see!" (in a very Fatherly tone)
Us: Yeah - those baggy pants showing yer butt crack says NOTHING to the world about showing YER goodies."
D: UGH - Dad....you know what I mean?
Us: "Sure son - one standard for you and one for hoochie Momma's."
D: "Well they ARE dressing like hookers.
Us: "are you getting older on us?"
D: (laughing) NOooooooo.
Us: (his words again in defense of his dressing habits) "Don't judge a book by it's cover Dude."
D: "Wha? I'm not I'm just saying if you see these girls and their 4" shorts you can see THEIR butt cracks Mom."
Us: "And we see yours in those dang baggy pants what's the difference?"
D: I give up! (then laughter) "You guys think you're SOOooooooo smart."
Me: Shmarty, schmart......
D: "I want to get home so I can go skating tonight."
Us: "So you enjoy the skating rink that much? That's great."
D: "Yes I enjoy it, but the girls that go there are just UGH."
Us: "What do you mean UGH?"
D: "The clothes they wear, and then they chase me and X around." (x is friend and NOT handsome at all by any stretch of the imagination and his personality is beyond blah)
Us: "Well little girls have always followed you around."
D: "No Momma - these are 15 and 16 year old girls dressed in....in....well their shorts are like this big (does hands at about 4") and their shirts are so see through I don't have to imagine a thing."
Us: "4" shorts? Oh come on."
D: "Momma I swear - they leave NOTHING to my imagination and it's AWFUL......(long pause) Why if I had a daughter that dressed like THAT? OMG I would (long pause) NOT allow her to go in public like that!!!"
Then a long silence followed by - MY HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER.....and then DF's laughter.....and Dude smiling "What Momma?"
Us: "You know with your shaved hair, notched eyebrows, tattoos, baggy pants, 1/2" rhinestone stud earrings, 3 or 4 silver chains, blingy dinner plate sized belt buckle, and NOW a grill...YOU ARE ONE TO TALK about how people dress." (says DF)
and I seized the moment and said Dudes FAMOUS words back to him -
"Well I'm sure those girls are JUST DRESSING....their OWN style - you know, not anyone ELSES style....being...(pause) THEMSELVES - kinda like you and the style YOU wear."
(could have heard a cricket blink)
D: "Well I'm not hanging my goodies out for everyone to see!" (in a very Fatherly tone)
Us: Yeah - those baggy pants showing yer butt crack says NOTHING to the world about showing YER goodies."
D: UGH - Dad....you know what I mean?
Us: "Sure son - one standard for you and one for hoochie Momma's."
D: "Well they ARE dressing like hookers.
Us: "are you getting older on us?"
D: (laughing) NOooooooo.
Us: (his words again in defense of his dressing habits) "Don't judge a book by it's cover Dude."
D: "Wha? I'm not I'm just saying if you see these girls and their 4" shorts you can see THEIR butt cracks Mom."
Us: "And we see yours in those dang baggy pants what's the difference?"
D: I give up! (then laughter) "You guys think you're SOOooooooo smart."
Me: Shmarty, schmart......