Other evenings...

[Malika]

Just to say that... tonight was a lot more "normal", calm, stress-free. Picked him up from school early and took him to roller skating which as always he enjoyed (not that he's much good at it, lol). He was very polite and unusually mature afterwards ("it's good to WAIT for things, Mummy" he declared, for example, when I asked if he wanted a cake I had brought for him - first time I have heard that sentiment from him...) and I wonder if the physical energy does him emotional good in some way. At home, things were fine until bed - usual drama over not wanting to brush teeth (this is much better, however, since we bought the Spiderman electric toothbrush ) but I just got round it by saying in a jolly voice that I would carry him upstairs afterwards... Then in bed we had a prolonged conversation about the Dalai Lama, about whom he is interested since I mentioned him (incisive questions such as "Do the Dalai Lama and Jesus live together?") and he went to sleep.
So... in a way I see that the big explosion last night was partly caused by my reaction to his insistence on a drink. I wonder when I will get this off pat and all runs smooth as clockwork all the time... Yeah, just joking

 

[DDD]

I'm smiling for both of you. Cherish the good days and know that it takes all of us time to figure how what the best course is dealing with difficult child's. Sometimes you'll be able to see patterns and avoid certain confrontations...other times, lol, it just doesn't work out right. Fingers crossed you'll soon have more good days. by the way, good improvisation last night! DDD

 

[InsaneCdn]

Just me - and what was necessary for my kids - but if he's pushing back at some level at something when it comes to bedtime... I'd start making bedtime just a wee bit earlier. Say, 10 minutes earlier. A week goes by - there's been semi-regular incidents? move it earlier again. Tiredness plays into this stuff way more than what we want to believe - especially if YOU happen to be a night owl like ME. Shut life down at 7:30? Are you kidding? (nope - absolutely necessary, in our case)

 

[Malika]

Hear what you're saying, IC, but I don't think I could be that organised. Apart from which, it would be SO rushed for J to go to bed before 8 given that he finishes the school day at 6.30 (completely his choice and wish as he wants to have two hours playing with the other kids after school). I do have supper ready and waiting for him now, though, which is definitely a good idea

 

[InsaneCdn]

Malika - We did not have any choice in the matter. We had more going on than J does - way too many subtle things that were not caught until too late. But even back then... we absolutely HAD to become that organized and that consistent. Not in our nature - and early shut down is REALLY hard socially (as in, we no longer HAVE a social life!). But there was - and still is - NO OPTION.

And if you think going to bed before 8 is early... K1 went through periods of time when he really couldn't last until 7:00. (thus, the 5:30 supper...)

Which means... all I'm suggesting for you is that you tuck this in the back of your brain. And if the other things you're doing aren't working... and you get desperate... you can always try it. There is no expiry date on the suggestion! <wink>

With some of our kids? You have to turn into Sherlock Holmes. Its a MAJOR sleuth job!

 

[whatamess]