Passive/Aggressive Anti-Christmas?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by witzend, Nov 20, 2009.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    OK, so we all know that I don't want to do gifts this Christmas, and that I am fine being invited to share in food or celebrations but I'm not doing anything at my house since both of my kids have other things going on and it would be a hit and run visit from them anyway. If they (or someone) would like to invite us to dinner or drinks, fine. If no one does, fine too, because it's our choice.

    Now for the passive aggressive part. How tacky would it be for me to avoid the big fight with L by posting our plans - or purposeful lack of plans - on my Facebook wall just before Thanksgiving. There's actually a charity that I'd really like to give to this year, and my intention is to make sure that the kids know that if they need anything (this is more for M than L. A girl with $1,200 worth of tans at the best salon in town clearly doesn't "need" anything) that we can talk about helping them out with the thing.

    I figure I will have more of an opportunity to explain (to everyone) that I am actually doing this in what I feel the spirit of the season is. I'm not saying I don't want to spend time with them, just that I won't pretend to be the source of my adult children's Christmas, or to be disappointed that I can't offer that to them.

    What do you think?
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I see this as a private family conversation, not one to be posted on Facebook for the world to see, possibly before the family members you are trying to target even see it. I can totally see this blowing up on you.

    I understand your goal but I wouldn't do it this way, Witz.

  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Rats... I was afraid so. I hate this stuff!
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I agree with Suz. However, I do not see anything wrong in sending out an email to those it applies with the same purpose in mind. And to that end, I would anticipate some negative feedback from at least one or two people no matter how you say it/write it.

    I have sent out an email every year explaining our intentions to give to charity rather than engage in a gift exchange and I've never gotten any negative feedback - in fact, I think it came as a relief to some.

    Good luck Witz.
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Jo! I don't think it will come as a surprise to anyone around these parts, either. ;)
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Yep, I agree about going the email route. :thumbsup:

    Good luck, Witz.

  7. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree, email is preferable.