plan foiled

[crazymama30]

I had planned to tell difficult child about his getting into the charter school at the last minute. I took a closer look at the application. It has a spot for student signature. Oh yay. The last time we had to have him fill something out for this school we had a major major meltdown. I emailed psychiatrist and therapist and have not heard from either of them. Form is due Friday. I am just burned out from dealing with difficult child anyways.

 

[ML]

I hope you can bypass this aspect. He's only 11, seems to me the parent is still in charge in this instance. Wishing you luck xo ML

 

[crazymama30]

I going to go drop off the form today, and oh, oops I forgot to get his signature. I think it is more of an involve your kid type of thing. Works great with most kids most of the time, but not this time. I just don't have the energy to put up with the fight this is going to start yet. He is not even stable yet, but we are close. The increase in Lamictal did wonders. I really don't know why husband's psychiatrist doesn't seem to like it as much but whatever.

 

[DaisyFace]

I think the attitude about the "child signature" depends on the organization...

I can remember filling out a form and skipping the child's signature, and when I turned it in they got real fussy about it saying that the contract applies to the child and they want to make sure that the child is committed to the program and their rules and understands the gravity of the situation, etc etc etc. Yikes!!

Good luck!

--DaisyF

 

[crazymama30]

I have thought about what you are mentioning, df, and I am not sure with this place. Maybe I will try to get him to sign before he goes to school, at least then the school has to deal with him afterward and not me. I think I need to buck up and put on my armor and become the brick wall difficult child is going to hit.

I am just so tired of fighting for what is right for him, to have him be the one who gives me the most flack. I am 95% sure that after the first week at this school he will love it. It will be like the summer camp that he hated and then loved, the 4-H fair that was the same way, our friends son's birthday party--the list could go on and on.

 

[Star*]

For some reason when Dude was younger we had this same I WILL NOT SIGN IF ASKED problem.

A lot of the forms that were sent home? We just signed our name and wrote for XXX XXXX and it flew.

On other forms it seemed that if he signed them WHILE in the office of a place? It was the lesser of two meltdowns.

One psychiatric hospital told him flat out - you're a minor your parents can sign for you, but we're giving you the chance to sign this for yourself. We don't need your signature. THAT jerked him up so bad he signed it and said "I can sign my OWN stuff." ugh.

Best of luck - but I'm for sending it in without his signature. Let them tell him - it may not seem like such a big deal then.

 

[crazymama30]

Sounds like my difficult child and dude have at least something in common. difficult child's main mo is that if there is an activity that he wants to do, we will sign him up, and then he will hate it. He will throw a fit the whole way there and once he gets there and is out of the car he gets quiet (cant embarass himself) and then goes and has a great time. He will even ask to go back, and comment on what a good time he had. I guess it is his ODD stuff, or who knows what. All I know is I hate it.

 

[Star*]

Dude would NEVER participate in sports. His biofather told him that sports were for sissies and XXXs.

When he got a little older - I bought a ball, bat, and glove for him - NOPE - turned it into a huge ordeal that I didn't throw the ball RIGHT to him or that his glove was too big, or the bat was too thing, I threw it too fast...

Then I thought - football - Bigger - able to hold on to better - nope - threw it once - hit his nose - NOW I'm trying to kill him.

Wiffle ball? - Lighter bat, lighter ball - less to get hurt from - and then the whiffle ball was stupid and not like real baseball - (blinking I stood in the yard thinking - but baseball was ....oh crud never mind)

Took him with me to Karate class and let him sign up for beginners class.
The sensi finally came to me and shook his head and said - no. I politely bowed out of further classes for myself - and DUde used the Karate outfit for pajamas and told everyone he could kill them - ugh.

Dodge ball, - HUGE MISTAKE to take an ODD kid to dodge ball - it's like a blood sport......and he was OUT to get anyone in the face with a big, red, round, air filled projectile missle.

Running? OMG do we have to jog this is killing me - I am dying, I am out of breath, I can't breath - you're killing me moooooom.

Tether ball? - WEll that lasted one turn.......I'm taller, this is not fair, you have advantage - I played on my knees - he came back - then I LET him win -OMG are you kidding I'm on my knees here kid.

Volley Ball? Stood there - then said this was just dumb -

Basketball - He tried this - and the first time someone took the ball from him he ran after them, jerked them by their shirt, threw them to the ground and threatened to kill them if they did THAT again - when HE has the ball it's HIS......GRRRrrrrrrrrrr......

Riding a bike? Loves it - he's alone.
RIding a 4 wheeler? Loves it - he's alone.
Walking in the woods? Loves it -
FIshing - loves it - again - alone.

But contact sports or anything where there is a team? NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

When he went to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - they had organized team sports and a ropes course - he did VERY well in that - got elected captain and made sure his team was first place. He's very clever and figured things out faster than the others - then the other teams copied him and THAT peeved him off.
As if ropes course was ALL his doing......omg....

So yeah - I hear ya. I would have loved to have had a picture of him playing popwarner football or baseball or tball or something - anything -even though he was great at chess - he hated loosing. Now he may play - but he's so much better than me and it makes ME angry. lol.

 

[aeroeng]

We have the most luck with skiing. It also is an alone thing, but when easy child and difficult child get together on the slopes difficult child forgets he's a difficult child and behaves well all day. I think it is because it is a physical thing that keeps him moving. easy child can't walk across the room without hitting something, but on skis (or a snowboard) he is an elegant gazelle. (Now if we can just find an open ski slop in Maryland this summer)

 

[crazymama30]

Star, I think they are long lost brothers. difficult child did ok in basketball (thought he was Shaq) but he was the shortest kid on the team. We left soccer after he put a kid in a head lock for some dumb thing. Football was kinda funny--he would get creamed(yes it was tackle) and get up and tell the kid(who was 2x his size) "bet you can't do that again". They just stared at him. Never did Karate, wrestling he could have been good at, but he psyched himself out. If he thought the other kid was better he got pinned everytime. Never tried baseball. No way on karate. difficult child wanted to join a boxing club (how stupid am I, not happening)!

Now we are on to archery 4-H club. So far, so good. We will see. I think the only reason difficult child does even half way good in sports is because dad likes them. Dad has his issues, but he does try.

When difficult child was around 6 he, easy child and I were playing keep away with the football. easy child threw the ball, and I blocked difficult child. He bounced off my arm, and cracked his head open on a rock. Blood gushing while he is screaming at me "you pushed me". So we go into the ER, all the while he is screaming that I pushed him. We get to the ER, and the intake RN asked him how it happened. He said "mom pushed me". She looked at me and I was silent. So difficult child went into the details of the game, super hyper and all over the place and I just let him talk, I was silent. I left with my son after he was glued back together. I was almost sick to my stomach while all this happened. I was sure I was going to be arrested.

Next trip to the ER was due to him hitting a swing set with the buckle end of a belt. The buckle came back and whacked him in the forhead and he would not let me look at it. So off we went. Once again, I let difficult child explain what happened. So the stupid RN writes in chart, hit in head with belt buckle. She changed it to hit SELF in head with belt buckle. For goodness sake.

So that was a tangent.

By the way, I turned in the app without his signature, and no one said a word. I handed it in folded up just the way it came in the envelope. I felt kinda sneaky

 

[Star*]

OMG THEY ARE TWINS!!!!!!! THE BELT BUCKLE INCIDENT!!!! lol - omg -

He said in the ER - "I was misbehaving.....sob sniff" ......pause for dramatic effect....and then through angry yelling tears......."AND SHE HIT ME WITH A BELT."

The truth was he was whipping the belt and buckle around in his bedroom like a cowboys bolero and the thing came back and pasted him in the head and left a near perfect square.

I too, sat in the ER while he told them I did it. I sat there and said like I always do "I'm 5'9" tall, I used to body build, weight train, and box. If I hit him he wouldn't be here." a nurse smirked....and the doctor made a big deal about it and put a gauze thing on it with a small butterfly stitch and some cream and then a huge bandaid and wrapped his head up like the mummy. I'm surprised he didn't offer him crutches and a cane.

I told the nurse - If I survive this child? I'm going to sit somewhere and have a nice long 3 year drink.....

 

[crazymama30]

Star, how about I just send my difficult child to you????? You already know him. Want another one?ROFL

I tried to go to my corner, but dinners not done yet and the kids wouldn't let me.

He likes big dogs. They like him too----for lunch.

 

[flutterby]

Throwing the fit and then being ok, sounds like anxiety...but then I'm biased because I've had it with both of my kids.

I would bypass the signature and go with the "it was an oversight". Some battles just don't need to be fought.

 

[crazymama30]

Yep, probably is anxiety. I would not doubt that. difficult child has only 1/2 an eyebrow. There has always been a question as to what is causing it, a form of alopecia or trichotillomania(hair pulling) with him we think he does it in his sleep. There are no conclusive tests for either, and it is an anxiety disorder. I may end up asking psychiatrist to address difficult child's anxiety, but am not sure. I know his dad really fights with anxiety, as does dad's mom. She is super anxious.


I did turn in the form without his signature. I decided it was not worth it. I did feel kinda sneaky.

 

[JJJ]

I'm pretty sure all of our kids are related LOL!

Tigger was about 3 years old and Kanga had gotten beads for Christmas and he shoved one up his own nose. I could kind of see it but I was afraid to try and get it out because it was really far up there. At the ER, Tig tells the nurse "my mom put a bead in my nose". It was so absurd that I just burst out laughing. Luckily the nurse must have raised a boy because she just asked him why would mom do that? and eventually he admitted to trying to hide it there LOL.

 

[crazymama30]

JJJ--that gives a new definition to body jewelry. And you put it there??? Wow. That must have made them laugh.

 

[Star*]

Are you SURE you want him to come live with ME?

Sure - send him to Auntie Stars for the Summer -

But after reading J3's post about the bead - craft class will be limited to popsicle sticks and crepe paper. I'm not fishing a bead out of anyones nose - maybe with a vacuum - can you see your kid sitting in my dining room after having a bead shoved up his nasal passage way and me getting out the shop vac with the smallest attachment I have to hoover a bead out of his nose?

YEah I'm betting after that he'd tell you I was a zombie and tried to inhale his brains....bwah ha haaaa........send him right over.

 

[crazymama30]

So you are offering a free lobotomy? Maybe that would help, it is certainly something we have not tried.

Actually he would have a ball with sticks and crepe paper. He has a crazy imagination.

Now about that lobotomy......

 

[Star*]

SMirking a little evil smirk with a small part of my left eyebrow unfurling.....

YES bring him to my laboratory - We'll go for hikes in the woods.....I'll teach him about flora and fauna - we'll go to the river - we can fish - swim- hunt for alligators, the lizard man...and I know loads of magic tricks.

MY WORD - I'm a SUMMER CAMP..... with a shopvac!