Please help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by nikkir, Apr 8, 2009.

  1. nikkir

    nikkir New Member

    My 6 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD about 9 months ago and now she has been diagnosed with ODD as well. I don;t really understand everything and would like someone to just talk to about everything. Does anyone one else hve the same situation?
  2. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    I think the reason your ? went unanswered was that because even 2 kids in the same family with the same diagnosis's, are still individuals having difficulties that are solely there own. For example both my girls have bipolar - one has been physically aggresive yet rarely cries, the other rarely aggressive but cries very often.

    Not sure if I can help or not but Angel was diagnosis with both adHd & ODD when she was 6yo, also bipolar diagnosis at that age. I guess my first ? would be who made the diagnosis was it a psychiatrist, pediatrician, neurologist etc? Often an ODD diagnosis means that the child just wasn't being very co operative the day the doctor saw them; with Angel I think the criteria they diagnosis'd her ODD would have to also qualify every 2yo who ever stomped their foot and said "NO" when told to do something they didn't want to do. So before I would take the ODD diagnosis to heart a couple quick ?'s I would ask myself

    1) Is the child being openly defiant or just testing boundaries with authority figures? Is it all the time or some of the time?

    2) Are they defying all authority figures? or just parents? or just school?

    3) Do you suspect there could be another diagnosis besides adHd that could be contributing to this? The reason I ask is with Angel I always considered the ODD & adHd as just symptoms of the bipolar that we use to measure wether we got the medications right or not.

    It seems sometimes with kids that diagnosis's tend to change even when working with the same doctor; actually it makes sense because kids are constantly growing & changing so why wouldn't their diagnosis's? They can master skills that make a diagnosis no longer apply. I've also noticed thru the years that you could take a kid with the same list of symptoms to 5 doctors and you would be very lucky to get 3 of them to diagnosis the exact same thing.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there and welcome. Lots of nice people come here.

    I have a few questions that can help us help you better. You didn't really give us much information.

    1/Who diagnosed your kiddo? Has he ever had a neuropsychologist evaluation?

    2/Are there any psychiatric disorders or substance abuse on either side of the child's family tree? Any siblings?

    3/How was his early development: Speech, eye contact with strangers, peer interaction with same-age kids, ability to socialize normally, any odd quirks such as lip smacking or repeating words or arm flapping? Any speech delays? Is he sensitive to sounds, touch, certain textures? Can he transition well? What sets him off?

    You may want to do a signature like I did below to give us an overview of your family. Again, welcome (but sorry you had to come).
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    OK, welcome. Your DAUGHTER (hem hem, guys - READ the post! lol) sounds like a real handful. Something a lot of us have found, is that ODD is often diagnosed as something which seems to be a consequence of another underlying disorder and the problems this gives parents when it comes to finding effective ways to apply discipline. We disciline our kids according to how we were raised and what worked on us. And in our day, the more akidmisbehaved the tighter parents applied the controls. With a lot ofd kids, this works. But if the misbehaviour is the result of a kid who feels out of control with the world, confused and upset by everything else seeming to be confusing, upsetting and difficult to get a handle on - then the more we asparents openly micromanage, the more these kids will almost automatically kick against it in order to make it clear - THE KID wants to have control there too, in some aspect of her life. Rebellion is natural, if it becomes a competition for control. And the more difficult child a kid is, the more likely we will lose a battle of wills with them. Far better to teach them self-control and for them to see us as facilitators instead of the obstacle or the other end of the tug of war rope.

    "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene is a book which can help us as parents get a different method of discipline, one where the child stops seeing us as competitors for control.

    For a sneak peek/preview of the book, go to Early Childhood and look at the stickies there, they are some good discussion on how to apply this book to younger children.

    It's not a cure, it's a different way to manage and could help you find more productive ways to manage your child, and to see her in a different light. Every child is different, so take form the book what fits and leave what doesn't. It is something YOU can do, while you also work to get professional input as well.

    There is not always an easy answer, with our kids. We'd like to beleive that doctors can diagnose Condition A and prescribe Pill B, which will make it all magically vanish and turn our child back into an angel. But it doesn't work like this. THis means that we have to fall back on our own capabilities and understanding as parents, learn to have confidence in our own observations and judgement and to work as part of the team to help our children.

    Here on this site you will find a wealth of information from a wide range of parents. Collectively there are years (decades? centuries? millenia?) of experience, many brains to pick. Again, take what fits and ignore the rest.